I greatly appreciate all of your comments.
I err... did reply to all of them, but as you all know, we had a bit of a forum "oops" that took out my reply and the conclusion of the rep.
I'll just post up the conclusion. If the original does resurface, I'll turn this into something amusing instead
Feel free to comment/criticize away though!
Best,
-BT
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Setup: Well, this is a weird one, as Hammer and Anvil deployment is just... weird. We roll to go first, and the Orkz win and gladly go first. I put my Defense line down long-wise, covering a good chunk of the board. I have, unfortunately, crossed over one of the "terrain zones," which means that the Ork half of the board is going to be more bare than the Marine half. Fair enough. When all is said and done, there's some small ruins and/or forests in the corner, and the Marines have bits of walls and rubble for them to hide behind near the front of their half.
The Orkz deploy fairly easily with BigToof, both mobs of Lootas and the Grotz (manning the Quad-Gun!) behind the Defense line. Grumgutz goes out to the right flank, and Louie and the Shoota Wagon go out to the left. Only the Dakkajet is in reserve.
The Ultramarines decide to castle up a bit on the left (hmm, no surprise there), with the Land Raider near the center. Maximus joins the bikes and the squad splits, with the MM bike half out to the left to square off against the Shoota-Wagon, and Maximus and crew hide behind the Raider. The XV88's go to the back of the left side, with Fire Warriors in front of them. The Shas'El goes in reserve to deep strike, and the Scouts are outflanking.
The Marines fail to seize and it's on!
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Picture Caption: Are the Big Five that fearsome? (Answer: Yes, yes they are.)
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"It's a fine day for an Ork hunt, don't you think so Princess?"
Shas'el'Sha'shera said nothing for a few moments as indignation and highly-conditioned politness butted heads. Politeness won this time, but it was getting close.
"It is a sunny day."
Captain Excelsior Maximus nodded astride his massive and heavily decorated motorbike, The princess had a nicely pitched and pleasant voice. You could hardly tell she was a Xenos at all.
"I am pleased that you speak our language so well. For a while we had thought that we would have to make signs. Something like 'no-touchy the bang-bang guns for they hurt you-owie-owie.' I know you Tau are new to technology. Don't worry, we'll teach you the proper way of doing things soon enough. Or should I say the 'Greater Gooder' way of things, eh?"
Sha'shera shook for a moment and Maximus nodded to himself. She was probably blushing under all that armor. Clearly swooning from the might of his verbal repartee. He looked around, peering at the mostly deserted ruins. It was rather unsporting of the Orks. He was hoping for a bit of a scrap, but the entire system was devoid of any greenskins. The only thing he had found was a weak Imperial signal from one of the planets. There was some kind of interference that made their scanning difficult, forcing them to land to investigate. Sigmund had said something about danger and traps and whatnot, but they were Ultramarines! He had promised the Princess a fine outing a little thing like fuzzy sensor-whatnots was not going to keep him away.
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"Dey's here, Boss, dey's here!"
The Ork Kommandos emerged from the surrounding forests, bellowing excitedly at Warlord Grumgutz Bitzgrabber. The Warlord returned the toothy grin. Just like Louie had said.
Ol' Maxie had taken the bait up with hardly a thought and now they had Beakies to fight good and proper. The Kommandos had said something about some other weird lookin' gitz with them, but the Warlord didn't think much of it. A good fight was coming, and the Orkz would be all over it! He took a moment to look over at Louie and her trio of Panzees. He trusted Louie. But he didn't trust them other gitz. They hadn't been learned proper yet. Best to keep an eye on them...
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Turn 1: Orkz
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Maximus sighed, looking at his chronometer. It was just like a woman to take forever. The Princess had excused herself right in the middle of his splendid conversation and was taking her time getting back. Probably powdering... whatever the Tau had to powder.
He shook his head. The Tau had a lot to learn. Bringing a woman along was just asking for trouble. They were at best a distraction and he probably wouldn't even notice if a great big company of Orks just...
"Captain! Captain!"
Maximus looked up to see his Sergeant waving at him. He had that tense look that the others always did.
"Yes, Sergeant? Found some Orks, did you?"
"Yes. Yes, they're coming this way!"
"Oh, good. How many are there?"
"I... I... Four or Five dozen, but..."
Maximus snorted, "Is that all? They won't even make it into swinging range. The Princess will be so disappointed that she won't get to see my magnificient swordsmanship at..."
"Hey Maxie!"
Maximus' eyes widened as the familar voice filled the air. He jolted up and saw an all too familiar looking figure on a powerful, trundling Warbike.
"No! It... You're supposed to be dead!"
Grumgutz laughed. "Death don't mean much to da Orkz! Get ready fer a krumpin' you lot won't ever forget!"
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Hmm, some people are shy. Let's fix that. I boost out Grumguz up the right flank. It's actually pretty easy given the whole pre-measuring business to keep them out of Terminator charge range. I move the Shoota-wagon up to threaten the bikes and Tau on the left. I then move up Lorilune and start my first little trick. i hope it works...
I roll for the Puppet on the Land Raider! My opponent is a bit flustered, as he didn't realize it could work on vehicles. He rolls to Deny the Witch, but fails (go Spirit Stones!). The Land Raider then fires all of it's weaponry on the Bikes. After two giant templates, a multi-melta, and an assault cannon... There's not much left. The Lootas pick the rest up in a volley of shots for first blood. The Shoota-Wagon and the rest of the Ork shooting takes down four Fire Warriors who fall back.
Picture Caption: First blood to Da Orkz!
Turn 1: SM
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Librarian Sigmund Novenus concentrated, scowling as he finally broke through the Mind control that was plaguing the Land Raider's crew. What had happened? The Orks couldn't do something like this on their own. It had a feeling like...
"Eldar. The Orks have Eldar allies. Make the word known. I..."
"Sigmund! Sigmund!"
Novenus nodded at the Captain's freverent call.
"Don't worry sir, we're fine, it was some kind of psychic manifes..."
"Who cares about that Sigmund?! He's coming for me! Grumgutz is coming for me!"
Novenus frowned, "The Warord? Sir, didn't you say he was dead?"
"I... Yes... Yes, I did. Oh... Oh those tricky Orks."
"Sir?"
"They tied his body up to a bike and are undoubedtly using some kind of speaker system. Oh, they nearly had me. Don't worry Sigmund, I'll take them apart."
"Sir! No, that is..."
A deafening engine roar was the only reply as Captain Excelsior Maximus and his squad zoomed straight towards the Ork Bikers. Grumgutz nodded to his ladz. Maxie had gotten some steel in his backbone since the last time they fought. He smirked. Hopefully, it'll be a good fight after all...
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Deciding that someone has to do something about the Nob Bikerz, Maximus and his crew move forward. The Land Raider also moves forward towards the Defense Line, trying to stay out of easy charge range.
Shooting is a bit nerve-wracking, as the Broadsides fire and immobilze the Shoota-Wagon (!), but luckily nothing else more. The Raider also moves flat out, getting perilously closer to the line (ooh, they can do that, kinda... forgot about that). The bikes fire, doing not too much to the Orkz. They then assault. Overwatch is horribly muted as the Nob Bikerz' shots bounce off Maximus' 2+ armor as he tanks the shots for the squad.
In assault, Maximus almost challenges, until he realizes that Grumgutz is S10. He then proffers up a PF Sarge, as he doesn't want the Orks challenging. I move up a PK Nob for him to play with. The regular bikers do nothing. Maximus swings, gets 2 wounds... both of which are saved by FNP! The Sarge pounds the Nob into the ground, but gets taken out with the rest of his squad by massive PK. Maximus thinks about what to do, then realizes that he'll last about two seconds versus Grumgutz. Willingly failing his morale check, the Captain zooms away... Wow. Nob Bikerz are tough in 6th.
Picture Caption: Yeah! And don't come back!
VPs:
Orkz: 3
SM/Tau: 0
Turn 2: Orkz
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Deffdread BigToof watched all of the Dakka fly through the air. It was noisy, pretty and some things were dying too. Just as it should be. He just wished something would get closer. Singing to himself, he didn't notice the screaming Grotz until one of them almost climbed into his talkin' hole.
"Oi! What'z got you runts so perked up?"
"TANKS A COMIN'!"
BigToof looked up and saw a beutiful sight. It was a tank. A big, nobby looking tank. Blue and full of guns. Wiping away a tear from his eye, he switched his head-saw to "extra-krumpy" and waddled out from behind the crude wall the Grotz had made, and waved one arm helpfully in case the driver couldn't see him.
"Yoo-hoo! I's over here!"
As the Deffdread trundled forward with hopes of destruction in his eyes, he knew one thing: It was a good day to be an Ork.
----------------------
Right, that Land Raider has got to go. Normally this would be Deff-rolla time, but sadly enough, the Battlewagon isn't doing anything useful. So I move in Grumgutz and the Nob Bikerz for help. I also move BigToof out. It's a bit of a run, but hopefully he'll make it in. I also pop the Lootas out of their Wagon and move them up. I'm not sure what to do with Lorilune, as she's so far away. So I just boost her up and over to the far left corner. She can deal with the Broadsides soon enough.
Shooting is good enough, as I take down another few Firewarriors and they decide to leave. More Dakka into Maximus does very little...
Then to assault! I get the Nobz in... and BigToof!
And it's a good thing, as the extra hits (wow it's easy to hit vehicles), turn a heavily damaged Raider into a massive crater. The now disembarked Termies loose a member in the firepit. Nobs? Unhurt. BigToof? Clapping his hands like a two-year old with a faceful of cake.
Picture Caption: Wow. That was... surprisingly easy...
Turn 2: Space Marines
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Shas'El'Sha'shera continued her meditation. It was taking all of her willpower to not put a plasma bolt into the foul man's head. She sighed. It was a foolish mission on a foolish errand that she had been assigned to. Was the Greater Good really worth this torment? Couldn't they just assign a member of the Water Caste or someone who could deal with this nonsense and then...
"Shas'El! Shas'El!"
The emergency channel brought her out of her painful thoughts.
"Shas'la? Where are your other squad members? What is going on?"
"Orks! They have attacked us. The Marines... they can do nothing! We are going to die, Shas'El! Please, help us!"
Sha'shera nodded, ending her channel. Cursing to herself, she stood up to scan the horizon. She was so taken about her personal feelings, she had let the entire mission fall into jeapordy. But this was not the time for self-recrimination. This was the time for action.
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The Marines get both the Scouts and the Shas'El. The Scouts come in on the right side of the line, and get ready to play operation "go to ground until turn 5." The Shas'El drops in pretty much on target with a generous view to the backside of the Battlewagon. Maximus carefully zooms forward. The Terminators also shuffle a tiny bit as they get horrendous difficult terrain checks.
As for shooting, the soon-to-die Broadsides fire on BigToof! They hit square on and explode him into bits (sniff. Don't worry, big guy, the Doks and Meks will piece you back together). The Shas'El not too surprisingly explodes the Wagon, claiming the lives of about a third or so of the Shootas (oops). The Librarian tries to do something psychic, but perils and takes a wound.
In Assault, the Terminators assault the Bikerz, who overwatch and actually drop a Terminator! The assault still goes off. The Librarian decides to challenge and I accept with Grumgutz. It's a... short fight as the Librarian fails to even wound the mighty Warlord, and then the Boss slams the poor Libby into meat powder. The other Terminators slam a few of the Nob Bikerz, but with 5+ invuls and FNP, we do MUCH better than in 5th, and actually shave the Termies down to a single member.
VPs:
Orkz: 5
SM/Tau: 2
Picture Caption: Ah, yes, carnage. It's good to be back.
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To Be Continued!
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Turn 3: Orkz
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Lorilune smiled, watching the rubble fly by as she raced forward on her Jetbike. How had she had forgotten how exhilerating this was? Grumgutz had wrecked her Jetbike and she had refused to demean herself by riding one of the noisy, patchwork Ork monstrosities.
It was so long ago, but now, the instincts were coming back.
No. SHE was coming back. The Farseer of Saim-Hann had returned.
Glancing forward, she saw the sad, blocky looking Tau battlesuits in front of her. Reaching out with her mind, she felt a delicious bit of satisfaction as their minds collapsed under the weight of her will. She was an Eldar. One of the ancient, great powers. Worlds would tremble at the mention of her name.
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Well... my Dakkajet still isn't incoming. Joy. But there's still more to be done.
Lorilune moves up, so do the Shootas (have to make sure they're clearly in the SM deployment zone).
Shooting is fairly straightforward, as Lorilune using Psychic Scream and the Broadsides roll something like a 14 for the Ld check... (ouch)
I spray a lot of fire into the Scouts, who of course go to ground and about half or so go down.
In assault, Grumgutz is still locked down by that one Termie who JUST won't die!
Picture Caption: Sing it, little Eldar girl, bring them down.
Turn 3: SM/Tau
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Sha'shera looked around the battlefield. The marines had all but fallen, her own forces were in tatters. If the Orks pushed forwards, they would all fall. Looking around, she spotted a large number of Orks huddled behind a crude looking wall, half held together by very poor welding and hope.
She took careful aim and fired her plasma and fusion bolts at the wall, expecting them to fly through with ease. Instead, the wall somehow held, burning deep holes, but not penetrating. She frowned. The Orks were competent. She mustn't let appearances fool her.
The Orks began to notice her now, and she considered her options: fall back and regroup, which would be almost impossible, surrender and hope for mercy which was almost as impossible, or try something insane.
Crouching down, she waited for the Orks to fire. Just as the first shots began to fly, she leapt into the air, coming down with a sickening crunch behind the wall on top of one of the green monsters. Something seemed to snap inside of her, as she knocked the others aside and roared,
"I am Shas'El'Sha'shera of the TAU. Fight me and DIE."
The Lootas around her paused for a moment, and then laughed. Silly Fish'eads. They'd show 'em how propa krumpin' was to be done!
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Well, there's not a lot to be done. Maximus moves forward some more, trying to get within range of the Lootas. Sha'shera fires at the Lootas and does... not too much. She then, much to my great surprise, ASSAULTS. The Lootas fire overwatch, but it all bounces off her armor. She then crushes the life out of one Loota, but the others decide to stay (sigh...)
In assault, STILL can't kill that Terminator!
Picture Caption: Wait... is that Tau WILLINGLY going into assault? ... Are you sure that isn't a "counts-as" model?
VPs:
Orkz: 6
SM/Tau: 2
Turn 4: Orkz
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Grumgutz snarled, trying to hew down the Beakie with the fancy shield, but it just wasn't dropping. Squaring his jaw, he just decided to go with it. Then a smile came to his face as he heard a loud engine roaring from the sky.
His talky-talk scratched to life in a sputter of barely-comprehensible static.
"Boss? It's Killboy. I's got a bead on dat Shiny Head Beakie. Youz wants me ta dakka him up some?"
Grumgutz laughed, "Sure, Killboy. He's a hard one, dat Maxie. So you better give 'em all you got. Repeat, WAAARGH!"
"You got it Boss. WAARGH! Over."
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My Dakkajet FINALLY comes in. I move him over to get shots on Maximus. Lorilune tentatively scoots forwards. I don't want her anywhere near actual fighting.
So, anyway, more shooting from the Lootas into the Scouts finally almost drops them as they are still wallowing on their bellies in the backfield. The Dakkajet also gets Grumgutz's thumbs-up for the WAARGH! and easily does something like a dozen wounds on Maximus. He fails two. (OH, SO CLOSE)
Assault is... sort of bad, as I get the brainfart of deciding to ASSAULT with the GROTZ into the Loota/Shas'El combat. I mean, they're TAU, they're bad in close combat. With the Grabba Stick, we'll knock down an attack and... What's that? A challenge?
Oops.
Ol' Zogwog moves forward to take it, otherwise my whole Grabba stick concept will fall flat on it's face. The old Runtherd doesn't get to do much as he is unceremoniously smashed in the gob by the Shas'El. At the sight of ACTUAL Tau competence... EVERYONE runs. Sigh. Oh, and just to put salt in the wounds the Shas'El RUNS DOWN BOTH SQUADS.
Yes, Grumgutz fans. Tau just ripped apart my center...
Oh, and yes, that Termie is STILL THERE.
Picture Caption: Did I just get owned? By TAU?
Turn 4: SM/Tau
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Sha'shera took a moment to catch her breath as the last of the Orkz scattered to the winds. The rush of combat, it was... nothing like she had expected. It was not the way of the Tau to dirty one's self with combat, certainly not be arous...
A girlish scream brought her attention back to the battlefield. A familiar Space Marine bike was being shot to pieces by a flying jet bristling with weapons. As much as she hated the Gue'seva, she had pledged her life to fighting for the Greater Good. That, she added, and it was a good time to see how effective Ork weapons could be...
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Maximus runs for the hills. I smirk as he won't get that far with the Dakkajet on his heels. But then I'm a bit appaled when I see the Shas'El jump in front of my now totally un-manned (err... un-Grotted) Quad-Gun! We check the rules, but there's nothing about the enemy taking your gun over...
Four quick shots makes the Dakkajet into a flaming wreck... that lands pretty much right on the Lootas. Who lose many in the explosion. And then run off the board.
.
..
...
This just became a real match.
Picture Caption: Are we sure that's not really Draigo in that suit?
VPs:
Orkz: 6
Tau: 6
Turn 5: Orkz
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Right, no more Mr. Nice Ork. I move Lorilune over so that in case things go to Turn 6, I can Psychic Scream the Shas'El into next week.
Grumgutz FINALLY kills that Terminator.
Turn 5: Tau
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The Shas'El jumps back, shoots the Quad Gun and destroys it (out of spite?). My opponent tells me that it counts as a VP. I'm not sure. We check the book, but no clear wording either way. So we 4+ it, and he wins. Tau jumps back more, but not enough...
VPs:
Orkz: 7
Tau: 7
Well, it's a tie game right now... but it goes to Turn SIX.
Turn 6: Orkz
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I move Grumgutz and Lorilune up. I Psychic Scream at the Shas'El and fire an armload of Dakka into the Shas'El, but she HANGS ON with one wound.
Turn 6: Tau
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The Shas'El fires at Lorilune, but doesn't do much. She then bounces to the corner of the board.
The game ends.
I thought it was a tie, but then notice the Shootas firmly in SM territory, so that adds ONE VP, which means it's...
Result: Ork Victory!
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Post-Game Thoughts: Wow, this was a real close fight that in hindsight shouldn't have been. I didn't think that one Shas'El could do THAT much damage, and although she was lucky, it goes to show how the new edition does cater to single models (especially with 2+ armor saves!).
Now I haven't done one in a while, but here's my unit by unit breakdown:
Grumgutz: Great. A hard hitting HQ that could easily krump anything that gave the Nob Bikers trouble. Broke the Raider and basically threatened away anything that was giving us trouble on the right side of the board.
Nob Bikerz: Clearly MUCH more formidable than they were. I walked through Bikers, Termies and all kinds of nonsense with not much to worry about.
Lootas: Perhaps even better as cover got worse. I was able to easily shear down the Fire Warriors.
Shootas in Wagon: Uh... sorta... meh. They did give me that one VP I needed to win, but their snap shots weren't all that eye-poppingly great.
Grots w/Quad Gun: This was a fun unit. I liked having the Grots anyway, and the Quad Gun does make them actually useful!
Dakkajet: Hella fun. I would have loved it to do more, but it basically took Maximus out of the game with a single volley and even did the Orky thing of almost costing me the game! (Note to self: Move the Dakkajet AWAY from your front line)
BigToof: Although people say that Dreads are dead, I still like him. Died horribly to melta, but well, that's not so different. Sitting behind the Defense Line, he still has 4+, and acts as a good bodyguard for my squishy mates. Plus, cheap. You can't argue with cheap.
Lorilune w/Jetbikes: Wow. Just... Wow. Big Louie just tore up everything with her psychic mojo and kept the Orks safe from all kinds of problems. Psychic powers can really be game changing. Have to keep an eye on them. 48" in one turn is also silly amounts of movement. I just wish that she could join the Big Five. Now THAT would be a scary unit!
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Lorilune shook her head at the heavily wounded Tau. It was doing it's best to hide behind a tree, but the heavy damage was obvious even at this range. Still, she had to admit, the alien was showing determination that she wasn't expecting. Tau were supposed to be cowardly creatures, running at the first sign of an engagement, but this one, and the others with her were different.
She heard a rumbling and saw Grumgutz idle to a stop with his Bikers. It would soon be over. There was no place to hide. Sad really, but what could you expect from a naive group of hopeful creatures so far from...
And that was when the Warlord put his hands together and started clapping. Slowly at first, but then with fervor that the other Nobs picked up on. Lorilune felt her jaw drop and looked around at the other Eldar who were just as confused.
The Shas'El poked her head out, obviously struggling with battle damage and pain.
Grumgutz waved for the applause to stop and then spoke with a growling baratone,
"I's impressed Fish'ead. Youz got a lotta guts. You lot are supposed to be nothin' but Grots, but you got something 'ard in ya. Right 'ard. What's yer name?"
The Tau paused, still trying to struggle with the confusion on the whole scenario.
"My... my name is Shas'El'Sha'Shera. Of the sept T'au. I... do not expect mercy."
Grumgutz smirked as he watched the Nobz scratch their heads trying to figure out what "mercy" meant, and then continued,
"Naw, I ain't givin' nothin' of the sort. You're a right good killa. Hate to lose a Fish'ead that knows how to krump things up propa. We'll meet again."
And with that the Warlord turned with his bodyguard and left.
After a few moments, (and a rather exasperated faceplam) the Eldar turned and left as well.
Shas'El'Sha'shera fell against the tree behind her. The blaring of damage warnings still filled her ears and she could hardly see. Pain unlike anything she had felt in ages was cutting through her limbs. But, she had survived.
"A right good killa" the huge Ork had said. Sha'shera felt a strange smile come to her face. They would meet again. And next time she'd show the Ork exactly what kind of...
"Ah, Princess Sara! There you are!"
Sha'shera turned her head to see Captain Maximus astride his bike, bandaged, but still arrogantly smiling.
"You can come out from hiding now. I've seen the Orks off, no doubt frightened away by my magnificience. It's a wonder that so much damage was done, no doubt it's Sigmund's fault. In any case, it's good that we're both doing well."
Sha'shera winced and said, "But... That's the problem, Captain. We can't do much as you've been knocked unconcious by your bike suddenly exploding out from under you."
Maximus raised an eyebrow and was about to speak when the Shas'El fired a plasma bolt into his bike's fuel tank. The bike ruptured into a massive explosion, sending the Captain end over end and landing headfirst into the ground. Sha'shera kept her gun pointed towards him until her sensors verified that he was unconcious. She nodded to herself. Should have done that months ago...
Poll