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Topics - BigToof

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Forces and Allies of the Imperium / Most Underrated Units
« on: March 12, 2018, 01:08:30 AM »
Hi All,
Just wanted to start a thread for something that I noticed in the Eldar book.

Now everyone and their cousin has heard about how OP Dark Reapers are.

And I'm not saying that they're not.  But they do have fierce competition in one unit:  the Guardian.

Now on paper and on fluff, it's no comparison:

The Guardian is the "Underwater Basketweaver" of the Craftworld, easily the cheapest unit with a gun that is... lacking to say the least.  S4, 12" no AP, 1 Damage... at least it rends?

In the past, the Guardian was much maligned and kind of ignored.

But in 8th... times have changed.

The introduction of the Webway Portal stratagem is one  of those things.

It puts them into Deep Strike that you can drop at the end of any of your movement turns.  And, unlike in previous editions, you don't have to drop them in a circular pattern or roll for deviation.  They're just there.

So in a block of 20... that's 40 S4 shots with rending.  Kind of scary when they appear from nowhere.

And in an edition where infantry is so much more important, I've found that they're just good to get to a troublesome unit and EVAPORATE IT.

For, if boosted with Doom and Guide, they can take out darn near anything.  ANYTHING.

In my last game, they took out a unit of 16 Berzerkers that were out of position.  Then a big unit of Poxwalkers just for kicks.

And if you can give them Quickness to let them reposition themselves then you can charge with them.

Yes, you heard me right.  CHARGE.

Because they do fine versus most screening units that are made to just get in the way, and the Guardians thankfully can get so stuck in, they can "capture" an enemy model and prevent the screen from falling back.  That locks up the advance of the units behind it and threatens board control.  Which is half the battle for the Eldar.

Because, let's face it, on paper the Eldar are kind of meh.  Middling strength of shots, middling rate of fire.  Nothing really great... except for the movement phase.

There, the Eldar dominate by being able to move twice with a psychic power, charge after advancing with the proper Stratagem, deep strike and do all kinds of things to really punish your opponent.

You just need to have board control to keep them from doing the same to you.

And that's where Guardians come in.  Plus, they're troops so if you ignore them, they can take an objective away from another unit.

Oh and I forgot one last thing:  The Celestial Shield.  4++ for a CP is so worth it.

Try them out, I think you'll like them.


What other gems have you all found?

Forces and Allies of the Imperium / New Tau Codex
« on: March 10, 2018, 02:23:57 PM »
Hi All,
Just FYI for those who don't know it, the New Tau Codex is coming out in about a week (pre-orders up today), and from the leaks and Warhammer Community page, I'm liking the updates!

Things I'm looking forward to:

Sept-linked special abilities: A bit of flavour for each akin to Eldar or Space Marine Chapters.

Price breaks on almost everything!  Riptides and Hammerheads took big price dips and almost everything is cheaper (save you know... gun drones and few others...)

Coldstar with FOUR guns.  Yes, that's right FOUR guns.  Able to move 40" and still shoot.

Riptide with 18 (!) shots of Heavy Burst Cannon.

Strategems.  Finally.

Overall, I feel like it's a good middle-of-the-road Codex.  Nothing too appalling or auto-takes, which is a GOOD thing.  I hope that post FAQ some of the more egregious units out there are brought to line and maybe Tau can shine again?


Battle Reports / Craftworld Eldar vs Chaos in "Foul Friendship" (3/18)
« on: March 10, 2018, 02:11:56 PM »
Craftworld Eldar vs Chaos in "Foul Friendship"

Hi All,
I decided to get in one more Eldar rep before the mighty onslaught of Tau hits us all.
In this one, I've got a decent match with my Chaos opponent returning.
But this time, he's clearly done some work with his list and besides the normal trickery of the Alpha Legion, he's brought Nurgle!
This was a tough, but fun fight.
Hope you all enjoy the rep!


P.S.  Hope you all enjoy the fluff!


The Lists

Eldar Craftworlds (1500): 62 Infantry, 2 Vehicle; 7 CPs
Alatoic Craftworlds Battalion
-Farseer (Doom, Guide)
-Spiritseer (Protect/Jinx)
-Dark Reapersx4 w/Exarch w/Tempest Launcher
-Dark Reapersx4 w/Exarch w/Tempest Launcher
-Wave Serpent w/Shuriken Cannon, Twin-SCannon
-Wave Serpent w/Shuriken Cannon, Twin-SCannon
Saim-Hann Outriders
-Autarch Skyrunner w/Laser Lance, Reaper Launcher, Banshee Mask, Shimmerplume
-Warlock Skyrunner w/Singing Spear (Quicken/Restrain)
-Shining Spearsx6 w/Exarch w/Star Lance
-Swooping Hawksx5 w/Exarch w/Hawk's Talon
-Swooping Hawksx5 w/Exarch w/Hawk's Talon

Mixed Chaos 1500: 73 Infantry, 2 MCs, 2 Vehicles; 6 CPs
Alpha Legion Battalion
-Daemon Prince w/Wings, Malefic talons, MofSlaanesh (Warptime)
-Sorcerer w/Force Sword (Death Hex, Warptime)
-Berzerkersx16 w/Chainswords and Chainaxes, Champion w/Claw
-Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
-Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
-Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
-Obliteratorsx3 w/Mark of Slaanesh
Death Guard Patrol
-Daemon Prince w/Talons, MoNurgle, Wings, Supperating Plate, Miasma
-Plagueburst Crawler
-Plagueburst Crawler


Autarch: Mark of the Incomparable Hunter (can target Characters)
Nurgle Prince: Rotten Constitution (Reduce damage by 1)

Mission: Secure and Control (Single Objective each)
Setup: Dawn of War


Chapter 2: A Foul Fellowship

The Warp is an eerie dimension, thought made flesh and stone with the rampant tendency to throw things like time and space around like lost pennies in a washer.  Still, being thrown together with a less-than-able comrade can make the entire experience feel much like a prison.  Or so it seemed to the smaller of the Chaos-blessed duo who stood in the courtyard of a purple-pink palace that eerily floated through the void.  Things had been quiet until a screeching voice boomed through the air.


Sorcerer Malfans looked up at the enormous Daemon Prince next to him and said in a sarcastic tone, "Of course not, Duumrider, I enjoy being shamed in the eyes of our Dark Prince and then losing almost all of our force."


Malefens paused in mid-stride.  Ideas were dangerous things when it came to Duumrider.

"What... kind of idea?"


"If you are speaking of the Obliterator cult, we have a few that..."


Malefans paused.  That did not sound like Slaanesh-type units.

"What... do you..."

And then the smell hit him.

An odor with palpable stench crept through the air enough to make the Sorcerer gag.  The architecture around them started to curl as a green-coloured portal opened and disgorged a massive Winged form.  It was vaguely man-shaped with a distended abdomen leaking with fluids and bile and a mis-shapen head that rolled about under an ill-fitting and pitted helmet.

Malefans gagged.  A minion of Nurgle?  Here?  He was about to give orders to Duumrider, then saw the pyre-faced Daemon stride towards the newcomer hands raised.  The Slaaneshi Prince slapped the Nurgle-worshipper on the back in a gesture of friendship and Malefans suppressed a grimace as a chunk of rotten flesh rolled off and onto the once-pristine tile.


The Sorcerer thought for a moment.
"Are you suggesting that we ally ourselves with... Nurgle?"


Malefans was about to reply when the Nurgle Prince held out a stained piece of paper.  Trying not to touch it too much, the Sorcerer gasped when he saw it.  It was... a contract.  A signed contract.  The fool had doomed them both.

"Do you have... any idea as to what you have agreed to?"


"And the consequences of failure?  It says that if our mission is not successful, we are bound to the service of the Great Lord of Decay."


Malefans sighed, "At least... you've given it some thought.  I will inform the minions.  I suppose we have an alliance then, Bulbous Gangrenosum."

The Nurgle-thing made a happy gurgling sound and a few greenish bubbles exuded out of the helmet.


Before Malefans could respond, the two Princes turned towards each other and did a complex set of hand gestures that ended in a double fanny-bump and the Nurgle Prince departed through the still open portal.  At least the smell had the courtesy to leave with him.

Malefans hoped beyond hope that for once, a battle would go the way it was supposed to...


"You realize this changes nothing between us."

Farseer Dunkas sipped his morning tea looking sternly across the table at the crimson-haired Autarch, Lady Lennara.  Lennara smiled at her once-husband, both of them in morning-robes.

Lennara smiled and replied, "You didn't seem to think so much last night, Dunkas.  I think you almost dehydrated both of us."

The Farseer curled a lip, "Don't be disgusting, Lennara.  Your drink clouded my mind and inhibitions.  It was folly to indulge and I beg Isha's forgiveness for my moral lassitude."

"I wouldn't call anything lax, Dunkas.  Just... out of practice."

Blushing, the Farseer changed the topic, "In any case, back to the topic at hand.  My Rangers have found rumours that your daughter..."

"Our daughter," corrected Lennara.

Dunkas paused and continued through partially-gritted teeth, "... Our... daughter... has been seen near a Mon-Keigh outpost.  A small force, nothing that we couldn't handle..."

Sighing at the dramatic pause, Lennara replied, "I'm sensing a 'but' to appear unbidden..."

The Farseer nodded and continued, "But, there is a complication.  The Forces of Chaos have intervened.  Worshippers of the Pestulent One and She Who Thirsts act together and they have driven off the Mon-Keigh.  We must secure this base if we are to conduct a search safely."

Lennara's lips curled in a familiar smirk, "Good, then we shall do so."

Dunkas frowned, gripping his mug tighter.
"Need I remind you the danger of falling into the gaze of She Who Thirsts?  It puts the souls of our charges in grave peril."

The Autarch nodded, "Indeed, Dunkas.  That is why we will not lose.  Now, let me begin preparing for battle... Unless you wish a second round of our own?"

Snorting, the Farseer stood up, hiding a flush on his face.  Lennara was brazen, but right.  Battle was coming, and much was at stake.  He only hoped that would not regret this perilous gamble.


To Be Continued!

Eldar Craftworlds vs. Catachan Imperial Guard in "Consequences" (2/18)

Hi All,
Yes, it's really happening, another rep is inbound!
In this batrep, I'm introducing a new Eldar list (pure until the Dark Eldar book comes out) that I've having fun with.
And since it's a pure Eldar list, I needed a bit of a change in the fluff, and I had the good luck of playing an opponent who was also trying out a pure Catachan list with a lot of artillery and boots on the ground.
Turned out to be a good fight and I have to admit that the strategems were actually a lot of fun.

Hope you all enjoy the rep!


P.S.  Kind of a lot of fluff, C&C is greatly appreciated!

The Lists

Eldar Craftworlds (1500): 62 Infantry, 2 Vehicle; 7 CPs
Alatoic Craftworlds Battalion
-Dark Reapersx4 w/Exarch w/Tempest Launcher
-Dark Reapersx4 w/Exarch w/Tempest Launcher
-Wave Serpent w/Shuriken Cannon, Twin-SCannon
-Wave Serpent w/Shuriken Cannon, Twin-SCannon
Saim-Hann Outriders
-Autarch Skyrunner w/Laser Lance, Reaper Launcher, Banshee Mask, Shimmerplume
-Warlock Skyrunner w/Singing Spear
-Shining Spearsx6 w/Exarch w/Star Lance
-Swooping Hawksx5 w/Exarch w/Hawk's Talon
-Swooping Hawksx5 w/Exarch w/Hawk's Talon

Imperial Guard (1500): 75 Infantry, 7 Vehicles; 9 CPs
Catachan Brigade
-Straken  (Warlord)
-Tank Commander w/Battle Cannon, Heavy Bolter
-Primaris Psyker w/Force Staff, Kurov's Aquilla
-Infantry Squad w/Mortar
-Infantry Squad w/Mortar
-Infantry Squad w/Mortar
-Infantry Squad w/Mortar
-Infantry Squad w/Mortar
-Infantry Squad
-Sentinel w/Heavy Flamer
-Sentinel w/Heavy Flamer
-Sentinel w/Heavy Flamer
-Manticore w/Heavy Bolter
-Manticore w/Heavy Bolter
-Manticore w/Heavy Bolter
Scion Patrol
-Tempestus Prime w/Command Rod
-Tempestus Command Squad (Plasmagunsx4)
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol


-Autarch: Mark of the Incomparable Hunter (Can target Characters)
-Straken: Lead from the front (6" heroic intervention)
Psyker Powers:
-Farseer: Doom, Smite
-Spiritseer: Protect/Jinx, Smite
-Warlock: Quicken/Restrain, Destructor (mini-smite)
-Primaris: Psychic Barrier, Nightshroud, Smite
-Astropath: Psychic Barrier, Telepathic Assault (1d6 Smite)

-Mission: The Relic
-Deployment: Search and Destroy (Opposite Diagnals)

Chapter 1: The Ties that Bind

Autarch Lennara of the Craftworld Saim-Hann lounged in the saddle of her Skyrunner, watching the nervous tics of Warlock Belgen.  Belgen was the sort that always wanted to know what the future held, but a Farseer was not amongst their retinue.

At least, not for the moment.

Belgen was clearly against their presence so close to Imperial space, but it was the only place that they could negotiate as a neutral ground that would not be within earshot of any Craftworld.

A necessary security given the sensitive nature of their mission.

Belgen twisted again nervously, adjusting his crimson cowl.
"Lady Lennara, are you certain that the Altoic Craftworlders will meet us here?"

Lennara smirked, letting her deep red hair fall down across her face.
"Belgen, if I have found the Altoic people to be anything, it is an unnecessary flair for the dramatic.  Most likely they are already here."

Once again the Warlock twisted in his saddle, almost falling off to Lennara's barely held amusement.
"They... they are?  But, why would they..."

Lennara sighed.  Belgen was a relatively new-comer to the Warlock shrine, but his lack of experience was a necessary gambit for her overall plan.  Any more experienced Eldar would recogize her and the mission and disavow themselves almost instinctively.

Luckily, Belgen was all too eager to please himself to the famed Autarch.  A commidity that she had learned to come to value.

"Calm yourself, Warlock.  The Altoic like to think of themselves as puritanical mainstays.  A moral, unbreakable standard that we all should live by.  For that reason, they like to watch.  To see if we can keep our emotions in check.  Until they reveal themselves in an overwrought display of majesty."

Lennara crossed her legs over the saddle and spoke to the darkness around them.
"Dunkas, don't you think this is enough of our time wasted?"

Belgen almost leaped out of his robes as two massive Wave Serpents seemed to emerge from nothingness, nestled with camoflage both psychic and material far outside of the normal red and white markings of the Saim-Hann homeworld.

The Altoic had arrived.

There was a slight shimmer around them and Belgen swallowed nervously as he felt a dozen or so Long Rifles aimed at his head.

Surely the great Autarch had thought of this contingency?  Belgen was unceratin about the entire affair to begin with.

But, the Lady Lennara, the great Autarch of legend, had personally asked him to accompany her on a mission of utmost import.

Granted, in hindsight, perhaps asking the nature of the mission or the potential consequences thereof should have come to mind, but the sheer surprise of having so great an Aeldari come to him spouting words of praise was just too much for him to refuse.

He only hoped that all the sympathy was not going to get him killed.

The Wave Serpents spun around and a pair of ramps extended as skull-wearing Dark Reapers descended the ramp, their Reaper Launchers sporting weaponry that could easily knock an Eldar off their Skyrunner with a casual gesture.  But, the pair of psykers that followed them made Belgen's blood run cold.

The leader wore the colours of Craftworld Altoic with all of their grandeur, paired with spotless robes that were covered with the accomplishments of lifetimes that Belgen could barely grasp.  The Spiritseer that followed the Farseer was slightly less decorated, but enough to give Belgen nervous tremors.  Who were these foreigners and how did the Lady know them?

And indeed, Lady Lennara seemed not the slightest bit worried.  She seemed almost amused, her bright features gleaming in the low-light, causing thoughts that should really be better contained come unbidden to Belgen's mind.  Then, she spoke.

"Dunkas.  You haven't changed."

The lead Farseer harumphed and gruffly said, "Lennara.  You sadly still wear the trappings of your kind.  Ambitious.  Dangerous.  Foolhardy.  I know your mission.  Your intent.  You.  Will.  Fail."

The Autarch let go a laugh that was half-mocking, half-castigating.
"Dunkas.  Dunkas.  Dunkas.  Still with the flair for the dramatic.  You know so much.  Yet... you still came."

The Farseer cut her off.  "If only to convince you of the folly of your actions.  Surely even you must..."

"Must what?" interjected Lennara, "Give up?  Hide in a hole while the needs of one of our blood goes unchecked?  Do you not have an ounce of responsibility still left in your crystalline bones?

Dunkas paced for a moment, and then spoke.  "I had forgotten the ways of the Saim-Hann.  So hot-blooded.  So misinformed.  You go to disaster so readily.  Without remorese."

"Remorse?  REMORSE?" roared Lennara, "I am not speaking of remorse, Dunkas.  I am speaking of the bare essentials of our kind.  Did you not hear?  She needs us.  After so long, so very long..."

Dunkas spat out, "No.  She is not of our kind.  She is an abomination..."

"No," growled Lennara, "You do not get that out Dunkas.  Our coupling was carefully negotiated, but you saw her when she was born.  You felt her mind.  You...  You knew her better than I did.  Surely the possibilty of her salvation..."

"Is IMPOSSIBLE, Lennara," Dunkas said, shaking his head, "You cannot ask me of this."

Lennara shot a finger out at the Farseer that made the surrounding Eldar take a step back, "You... dare act this way.  You fled after her birth.  You didn't raise her.  Didn't see her first steps.  Her first mind-link.  The first shrine.  You hid in your Outcast lair and did nothing.  And now she comes asking for our help.  Have YOU no shame?"

The Farseer was about to repond, when the Spiritseer by his side grabbed his arm.
"Farseer, we are detected.  The Mon-Keigh are close, their minds hidden.  We must make for the nearest Webway."

Dunkas nodded and said to his once-wife, "Lennara.  I will escort you to the portal, but that is all.  This is madness."

"No," Lennara said, "This is responsibility.  Dunkas.  I know you.  Our daughter calls to us.  We must answer.  I will do this, with or without you.  And you do not want my death on your hands."

The Farseer frowned, ignoring a repeated warning from his Spiritseer.  The skeins of the future were so brilliant and obvious.  He should turn her away.  He should keep the Aeldari's future protected.  But... what of it?  What would it mean to betray his closest kin?

"Very well, Lennara," he said in solemn tones, "In this we are bonded, but know this:  The Mon-Keigh may be our enemy, but I do not condone this abomination."

Lennara smirked, "In this we agree.  I will have a stern talking-to ready when we meet Lorilune.  Our daughter has much to answer for."


"Damnation!" growled Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken as he peered through the misty dawn.  "Harker!  You said that you saw Eldar on my battlefield?!"

The overly-muscular Sargeant of the 2nd Catachan nodded, "Yessir, we saw those pointy-eared Xenos over on yonder.  Looked up to no-good."

Straken nodded, gritting his teeth with a hate that only a Catachan could appreciate.  The Eldar were an bunch of thin-armed cowards that hated a fair fight.  But, they had the misfortune of running into the Hammer of the Emperor.

"Alright you lot, listen up!" barked Straken, "We've got a Xenos hunt on our hands!  Let's show these invaders the penalty for trespassin'!"

To be Continued!

WAARGH! Grumgutz vs. Alpha Legion (1500): The Return of Duumrider!

Hi All,


It's been a while.  I've been playing here and there, but nothing serious as I've been waiting for Chapter Approved and Beta rules to simmer to something concrete.  Oh, and how it has!  Smite spam is nerfed, except... Orks still can do it pretty well.
Hordes are still stong and Orks can do it doubly well.
At least... they do better than Dark Eldar.

So, I bring out the Green Horde lead once again by Ex-Farseer Lorilune in a mass surge against... Chaos?

It's an interesting Alpha Legion list with a lot of tricks and surprising to say the least.

Hope you all enjoy the next chapter of the WAARGH! Grumgutz saga.


P.S.  Fluff is attached!
Comments and Critiques are Greatly Appreciated!

The Lists
WAARGH! Grumgutz (1500): 125 Infantry, 1 Vehicle; 6 CPs (Battalion and Patrol)
Ex-Farseer Lorilune (Weirdboy)
Axl da Goff Rokka (Weirdboy)
Big Mek Wingnut (Big Mek on Warbike w/KFF)
Dokta Chop (Painboy w/PK)
Nob w/W!Banner, Kustom Shoota
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, PK
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, PK
Boyzx28 w/Shootas
Brother-Captain-Major-Sergeant Skarbutz (Stormboyzx15 w/PK)
BigToof (Gorkanaut)

Alpha Legion (1500): 77 Infantry, 1 Monster; 6 CPs
DUUMRIDER (DPrince w/Wings, Elixer, Malefic talons, Warp Bolter, MoS, Warptime)
Malafens (Sorcerer w/Force Staff, Combi-Bolter, Warptime, Prescience)
Noise Marinesx18 w/Sonic Blasters, Blastmaster
Berzerkersx8 w/Chainswords and Chainaxes, Champ w/Double Claw
Berzerkersx8 w/Chainswords and Chainaxes, Champ w/Double Claw
Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
Obliteratorsx3 w/Mark of Slaanesh
Obliteratorsx3 w/Mark of Slaanesh


Chapter Two: The Retrun of Duumrider

Our story begins deep in the Warp, the nebulous half-real dimension carved out of the dreams and nightmares of the denizens of Realspace.  There, made from mountains of spiraling pink and purple metal was a castle of exquisite and near mind-numbing detail, crafted by the pleasure-driven worshipers of Slaanesh.

But, it was not a place of worship, but instead a holding ground for the unused and bedraggled.  Mutilators and Defilers slumbered in rooms carved out from the warp-stuff and one of the largest rooms was occupied by a fairly-well known creature.  A pile of scantily clad cultists were laid out in a pile, half covering a massive mockery of a humanoid figure.  Adorned with purple and pink Astartes Armor, the Daemon Prince Duumrider slept, his firey flame extinguished for the moment while dreams of depravity filled his brow.

As Duumrider slumbered amongst the mass of drugged-out cultists, there was a tremor in the Warp.  Suddenly, the lidless eyes of the Daemon Prince snapped open and a cackle ripped through the air.


The monstrous creature threw itself upwards, scattering the Chaos worshipers around him.


With a shimmer of brimstone, the beast vanished into a blur of speed and the doors to the sanctum were thrown open with reckless abandon.

In another room of the palace was a Sorcerer deep in thought.  His overwrought pink and purple armor had a sheen of dust as Malefans, the Sorcerer of Slaanesh, looked over his tomes.  There had been little call for Sorcerers of late, as the Gods and Heretics alike were following the rabble calling of Malefic Lords.  Though barely sane and paling in comparison to the centuries of experience of a Sorcerer, the baying hordes that had been active cared little for substance and style.  Instead, they followed whoever could cobble together enough of a warband to throw themselves needlessly against the Imperial warmachine.  Malefens shook his head at the thought of it all.  The children today had no sense of respect for their elders.

And it was at this point that the doors to his study was blown off their hinges by a massive boot that left the once-mighty doors thrown about, knocking over piles of books and carefully kept notes.
With a sigh, Malefans looked over to see the panting and howling form of Daemon Prince Duumrider.  It was going to be one of those days.


"What are you talking about?  We're not going any..."

Then, as if on cue, a small shimmering light began to glow on Malefan's wartable.  The Sorcerer wiped off a sheen of dust and almost gasped in surprise at the pinkish rune that shimmered quite clearly.

"We're...  We're being called to battle.  The Dark Prince has need of us once more."


"No..." said Malefans grimly as he looked over his runes.  "Our opponent is... Orks."


"Surely this is a test from the Dark Prince.  Once we prove ourselves worthy, then we will be given something more substantive."  Malefans drummed his fingers in thought.  "A trivial task, but a task nonetheless."


The Sorcerer took a moment to look up the flaming visage of his mostly-insane colleague.  Sometimes there were motes of wisdom in the Warp-Dust crazed words that scrambled out of Duumrider's mouth.  Surely the Dark Prince had a twist planned.  It was only a matter of time before they figured out what it was...


Ex-Farseer Lorilune was in a foul mood.  Which was her common state of affairs given the situation.  Clad in the remains of her once vaunted robes, she brushed the ends of her bedraggled crimson hair out of her eyes.  Once, she had worried about such creature comforts like vanity and fashion, but now there were more important matters at hand.  She stood over a crudely made table with rolls of paper in front of her that had crude squiggles and sigils that approximated a map.  Barely.  Waargh!  energy crackled through her veins and she looked up, throwing a glance at the other figure in her tent.

Big Mek Wingnut looked sheepishly and tried to make himself as small as possible.  Even though the Ork dwarfed the Eldar, he had long since learned what everyone in the Orkish camp knew:

Nobody was bigger than Big Louie.  Nobody.

"Uh, Louie," asked Wingnut, "Da map ain't all THAT bad, right?"

A roar of Waargh! energy coarsed over the room, knocking the crude maps around the room and stirring the dust on the floor into a small sandstorm.  Wingnut shut his eyes and coughed, stepping back against the onslought.

"Not, that bad?  NOT THAT BAD?"

Lorilune charged forwards, poking a finger against Wingnut's chest, and the Big Mek whimpered as if shot.

"Do you lot even have the faintest idea of cartography?"

"Uh," proffered Wingnut, "I can make you a cart if you want Louie.  Maybe half a Trukk if ya..."

"That's not what cartography..."  Lorilune fought down the very tempting fantasy of blowing Wingnut and all of the Orks into the stratosphere.  It was bad enough that the Orks had crashlanded on this misbegotten planet, but it was even worse that they didn't have a clue as to where they were and in what direction they were going.  Lorilune half expected that they were wandering around the forest in circles, getting further away from the Spaceport that held their only hope of getting off the planet.  But, thinking and planning were not the Ork way of doing anything.  It was as foreign as soap to the greenskins, but by Khaine's bones she was going to force it down their throats until they choked on it.

"Why's you need a map anyhows?"  asked Wingnut, a bit relieved that the blasting had stopped.

"Why?  Why?! How do you know we're going even vaguely in the right direction."

Wingnut nodded, "Yeah, I guess dat's a problem, but ya know...  Bigtoof can see those gits."

"He... WHAT?!" screamed Lorilune, looking out the tent flap at the enormous Gorkanaut that was piloted by possibly the stupidest Ork she had ever met.  The massive Warmachine had fallen over again after bending over too far and was slowly being pulled up again, causing the entire warband to grind to a halt.  As necessary as the Gorkanaut was to her plans, Lorilune still couldn't believe that the massive titan could be brought low by something shiny on the ground.

"Then why didn't you lot tell me?!"

"Uh," proffered Wingnut, "Cuz you said dat you didn't want to hear no more about BigToof cause of what he did with dat fallin' over thing."

A vein throbbed on her head as the Ex-Farseer summoned all of her strength to keep from screaming at the top of her lungs.  Orks.  Just when you thought you had reached the nadir of their stupidity, you found a new layer of idiocy ripe for the mining.  At least, she thought to herself, it couldn't get worse.

"Boss!  Boss!" screamed an Ork Boy as he ran inside.  "We see some humies on da hills up ahead!"

"Good," said Lorilune, "I'm just in the mood for them.  Summon the Warband.  The Might of the Eldar will herald their destruction!"


Sighing, the Ex-Farseer said in monotone, "Get everyone together.  We're going to fight them."

"Oh, right!" replied the Ork Boy, waving his Choppa around,  " Green is da Best!"


Mission: Cleanse (Kill Points)
Setup: Vanguard (Diagonals)

Pre-Game Thoughts: Right, I've got a horde... versus one of the scariest anti-infantry lists I've seen in a while.
I've seen Chaos (with it's shiny Codex...) run rabid on the table, and there's a lot of nasty things out there.
Noise marines with umpteen million accurate (gasp!) shots with Sorcerer support, Khorne Berzerkers (ouch) and a Daemon Prince (better than Morty or Magnus I suppose), but still a nasty list over-all.  Only two units of Oblits, so I guess I should be happy there?
As for my list, I've got a metric Ork-sized ton of bodies with now three Weirdboyz (love 'em) and still BigToof the Gorkanaut as distraction Carnifex.  I don't have much anti-tank, as I've brought a W! Banner Nob (might be useful?), a Painboy and Stormboyz to see what they do instead of doing the sensible thing and taking KMKannons or the like.
Looking at the board, I really miss those Kannons...
I sense that this will be a slobber-knocker for the ages to come!


To be Continued!

General 40k and Expansions / Matched Play Beta Changes
« on: December 17, 2017, 02:07:22 PM »
Hi All,
In case you weren't aware, there are a few beta matched play changes that have gone out.

There's some clarification for the character targeting shenanigans (thank goodness), but most importantly Smite has gotten a nerf (every additional attempt causes a -1).  This is huge as it hurts the big smite spam armies and that might (?) bring back some elite armies...

Although oddly enough Orks can still smite spam, but at least now there isn't a pressure to try massed IG or brimstone psyker spam.



P.S.  Now that things are setted matched play wise, more batreps coming soon!

The Eldar Alliance vs IG/Knight in "The Dark Light Returns" (1500)
Hi All,
Real life once again dealt Toof a bad hand or two, but I did manage to finally put some time aside and get a pretty brutal batrep written up!
I'm finding 8th to be hella fast compared to 7th and well, quite bloody when you get to the end game.
And I've always had a soft spot for the Dark Eldar.
Evil for the LULZ of it, hardcore, maniacal and just bad news by the standards of everyone (perhaps even Tyranids).

But, they were kind of lackluster last edition.

You just couldn't get much done without your Craftworld cousins and in the end it was just kind of embarrassing for all parties involved.
So it was with some trepedation that I brought out my spikey Space Elves for combat in the New Era.
And I faced up against a mate who was bringing out a decently hard-hitting list of Scions (AKA Storm Troopers) and a Knight Titan.  Oh and Tauroxes a plenty coming out of every orifice.

So... kind of brutal?

But, I had heard that Dark Light was the shiznit this edition and that Harlequins were remarkably good.
Still, looking at what I was up against it was... daunting to say the least.

How did things go?

Did the Dark Kin give the spanking or take one?

Read.  On.


P.S.  Of course there's fluff too :)

The Lists

The Eldar Alliance (1500): 26 Infantry, 6 Vehicles; 6 CPs
Archon Y'stral w/Blaster, Agonizer
Farseer Thielbane on Jetbike, Doom
Beastmaster Starsparkle w/Agonizer
Warriorsx5 w/Blaster in Raider w/DL, Shock Lance
Harlequinsx5 w/Fusion Pistolsx3, Embracesx4 in Starweaver w/SCx2
Harlequinsx5 w/Fusion Pistolsx3, Embracesx4 in Starweaver w/SCx2
Razorwing Flocksx4
Razorwing Flocksx4
Ravager w/DLx3
Ravager w/DLx3
Razorwing w/DLx2

Storm Troopers/Knight (1500): 25 Infantry, 6 Vehicles, 1 LoW; 7 CPs
Tempestus Prime w/Command Rod
Tempestus Prime w/Command Rod
Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (Scionsx4 w/Plasmaguns)
Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (Scionsx4 w/Plasmaguns)
Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2
Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2
Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Knight Crusader w/Avenger Gatling gun, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Flamer, Heavy Stubbers


Chapter 14: The Dark Light Returns

Farseer Thielbane of Craftworld (or ex-Craftworld so-to-speak) Biel-Tan sat on the edge of the far railing of the Grisley Hand Kabal.  The Kabal was a roving band of Drukari warships that wandered around like Nomads between the Webway and Realspace.  Mostly kept separate from the rest of Eldar society due to their leader's mercurial bouts of homicidal rage and backstabbing tendencies, the flotilla had in its own way insulated itself from the recent alarming events in Eldar history.

The Farseer was lost in thought as he thought about his own timeline.  It seemed like it had been an age since he had been assigned for the "good" of the Craftworld to work with the Dark Kin.  The spiky, almost venomous architecture was borderline terrifying at first, but he had gotten used to it.  Now, the far-off screams of the torture racks and pain pits were an almost familiar, yet diabolical ambiance.

But, he had to wonder what good he had done for his Craftworld.  In his absence, an entire new faction of Eldar had emerged, fractured his homeworld and sent the entire race into a frenzy of paranoia and misgivings.  Y'nnead, the so-called God of Death, had come looking for followers, and more than a few of the Biel-Tan survivors had joined the ranks of the Death-Seekers.

Luckily, he had been spared the worst of the internal strife, but it was just a matter of time before the spiral of damnation grew out of control.
If only he had more...


Thielbane's head jerked up and he saw the impatient, pacing form of Archon Y'stral screaming his name.

The Archon was clad in his spike-ridden raiding armour and was clearly not in a pleasant mood. 

"Thiel, what in Khaine's name are you doing out here?  We've got a solid raid going off faster than you can kick an Ur-Ghul!"

The Farseer sighed and carefully leaned against the rail, "Y'stral, do you ever wonder what the point of all this is?"

Y'stral snorted, "No, are you crazy?  It's simple.  Commeraugh got it's guts turned inside out thanks to that totally hilarious fail on Vect's part.  Can you believe it?  Got made a fool of in front of everyone!  He'll never live it down.  Yeah, some stuff blew up and your Craftworld got a hole in it.  Big.  Deal.  The important thing is that everyone who can pay for it wants fresh slaves to jolt themselves into a pain and suffering overdose.  It's the perfect opportunity, Thiel!"

Thielbane nodded and said, "I... suppose in the short run, that's true, but the Harlequins are..."

Throwing up his hands, Y'stral cut off his companion with frantic gestures, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Clowns?  Thiel?  Didn't we have a talk about the clowns?  They cramp my style."

"That's... not important, Y'stral.  They're ambassadors of the Laughing God.  Potential go-betweens of the forces of Ynnead.  We have to treat them with respect and they do want to go with us onto the field of..."

But, the Archon was not to be stopped.  Y'stral continued his tirade unabated, starting to pace up and down the deck while wringing his hands in thought. 
"Oh, Oh!  I get it.  The clowns are running out of epic material and they want to see how the REAL Eldar get things done.  Fine.  Fine!  Just, they better not get in my way.  And if they steal any of my kills, I'll beat them to death with my murder-boner."

Thielbane sighed.  It was as close to a win as he could get at this point.  "Uh... right.  I've consulted the Runes and... you do know that we're up against serious opposition?"

A sharp laugh burst from out from Y'stral who shook his head derisively.  "Fffffft.  Thiel, come on.  It's me.  We've got some hoity-toity Mon-Keigh and one of their big metal bozos.  Just one.  We can handle that."

Thielbane shook his head and stammered, "I... suppose.  But, don't you think..."

Throwing a hand over the Farseer, Y'stral laughed, "Think?  Think?  No, Thiel, I know.  I know you need this.  You NEED this.  You're like someone whose girl left him and then went and set fire to his house and all of his pets.  You know, confused and kinda aroused."

"I... don't think that..."

Interrupting again, Y'stral said, "Anyway, that's besides the point.  We gotta get these birds the hell out of my ship before they start driving me nuts."

As if on cue, the nearby hatch door opened and a short, white-cloaked figure staggered out.  It took the two Eldar a moment to realize that it was in fact, a familiar looking individual coated in avian excreemnt.  Starsparkle, former leader of the "fearsome" Reaver gang: the Sky Ponies, tried to walk as respectfully as possible while leaving sticky footprints along the long gangway.
"Archon?  Farseer?  Is that you?"

Wrinkling his nose at the smell, the Archon responded, "No, it's the Mon-Keigh Primarchs.  Who do you think it is?"

Star tried to wipe her goggles clean, but only managed to add another layer of filth.  "Apologies.  It's just... hard to see...  The birds are acting kind of...  I think there's something wrong with their food."

The Archon continued, "Yeah, it's called not falling down and dying.  Stuff is supposed to kill anything, but those birds just keep crapping it out everywhere."

Trying to respond in a meaningful way, Star added, "Uh, yes.  Can I... stop being the Beastmaster now?"

Nevertheless, Y'stral continued his verbal barrage, "Stop?  STOP?  We need those rabid meatshields out there now.  The Mon-Keigh won't know what hit them...:

The Shrine World of Omicron-Sigma Seven was a blighted, barren wasteland except for a small patch of artificially maintained verdant forest surrounding the remains of a massive Imperial cathedral.  Omicron-Sigma Seven had been the site of a recent massive battle in which the Imperium had been victorious over a brutal Cult uprising that dared to question the divinity of the God-Emperor.  The Tempestus themselves were brought into play to quickly annihilate the Heretics, but their efficacy had a somewhat unfortunate side effect of purging the entire population.

So it was that the Two Masters sat at their command desk, none of them willing to break the silence.  Both were Temespesus Primes, lords of the best of the best of the Astra Militarum.  However, they were in the precarious position of having lost most of their Scion underlings and now the default defenders of the Relic of Saint Farquad the Undying was actually made up of mostly officers and their command staff.  It was a top-heavy conundrum that few Primes had had to deal with before and it bristling for the Masters to conceive of the fact that there was another individual who had equal authority to their once-vaunted dominion.  And it was about to come to blows when the diplomatic conception of "taking turns" was vetted into a hesitant state of agreement and now only one Master was in control at a time.  Just, not on a permanent basis.  And it did not make the other Prime friendly by any means.

The Primes looked at each other ruefully, both old men, made older by decades of warfare and longevity drugs, and all unwilling to give the others the satisfaction of looking away first.  Though named differently, Primes McCullum and Rutherford were practically mirror images of each other.  Heavily mustached with lines of wrinkles set into permanent scowls with dress uniforms blanketed with medals and varied sorts of honourarium.  Their level of prestige was so similar it was positively scandalous.

So it would have gone on for quite a while, until the door to the Command Room opened and a frantic looking Scion charged in.

"Masters!  I..."

Two pairs of beady eyes swiveled on the Scion, who paused and then realized that he wasn't actively saluting them.

Remedying it as best he could, the soldier tried his best to hold the reels of Vox-paper while staying at full attention.
"Uh, sirs.  Yes, the scanners have picked up a fast-moving force on the Vox-Arrays.  Energy signitures are Eldar."

The Masters scooted their chairs away from the desk in varying states of alarm, but the current leader, Prime McCullum was the one to bark the order.
"Send out the alert.  Mobilize the Knight and the Tauroxes for fast intercept.  Prepare the others for Grav-Chute entry.  Let us see how the Xenos fare against the finest of the Imperium."

Mission: The Relic
Setup: Front Line Assault
Y'stral: Inspiring Leader (+1 Ld to nearby units)
Tempestus Prime #1: Inspiring Leader (+1 Ld to nearby units)
Combat Drugs:
Starsparkle: +2 Ld

Pre-Game Thoughts:  The relic?  Oof, this one's going to be tough.
All of my vaunted mobility won't do beans if my opponent can just hold the center and blow me away.
I also have no real assault elements in my army, so if that Knight wants to just stand around bullying me, then well...  there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
On my side, I do go first unless he totally mechs up his army, but I don't think that'll be his game plan.
I only hope that my boats can take a plasma broadside or two...
His Tauroxes are also pretty scary, but thankfully they're in "bullet-hose" mode (i.e. only THIRTY or so S4 shots) rather than anti-tank.  But, there's a LOT of those little trucks.

Setup: We take turns setting up and I castle hard in the middle with birds to protect me from a seize possibility.  The Archon with Warriors in the Raider in the Front, Harlies with their Starweavers behind him and the Ravagers to the flanks.  Thiel and Star were in the center amongst the big boats.
My opponent set up a bit more carefully, knowing that he would go second due to his ENORMOUS number of drops, but sets up his Knight in the center with Tauroxes trying to stay out of Lance range in the corner pockets.

The Scions failed to seize and the game was on!

Picture Caption: Hey we have the same number of models! His are just... probably better than mine.  Hmm...  Hope that Dark Light got the upgrade that they were rumored to have!


To Be Continued!

Lady Jenna vs Imperial Knights in "When Seamus met Jenna..." (1500)

Hi All,
You may all be wondering what's keeping the next rep, and the honest answer is that I've been having a hard time making a list.

Reading all of the FAQs and internet conventional wisdoms, I saw that shooty guard seemed to be the way to go, but the game didn't support making my old lists.
Squads were all ten-man, you couldn't blob up, and my commanders felt pretty naked without the disposable bodies they could previously hide in.

Then, it hit me in a whisky-filled nightmare that involved me as Hermione Granger promising her friends that she'd never marry someone as weasley as Ron Weasley and if she did, she'd give her children proper names like Emma and certainly not plain or unimaginative names like Rose or Hugo.

A shadow loomed over us and children went screaming as the gigantic figure of Lord Commissar Seamus O'Keefe blotted out the sun.


"Well, I sputtered," doing my best to keep the enormous bolt pistol holstered, "It's harder than it looks you know.  Everyone wants Lady Jenna, but she doesn't have her old powers and all the websites say that you should just take plasma, conscripts and arty with spam on the side."

"AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?" said the giant, producing a foul-smelling cigar the size of a battleship.

"I...  I'd like to get stuck in once in a while, really."


"I...  I can't do that Seamus.  There'd be riots.  Virtual riots, but riots nonetheless."

There was a laughter that made the ground shake, "NOT JUST ME.  PUT JENNA IN TOO.  AND THAT BALD-HEADED LAD THAT EVERYONE LIKES."

"Wait...  Jenna and the Baron?  But...  The Baron's still with the genestealers and Jenna's a psyker and..."




Then a huge clump of ash the size of a house fell on me and I woke up.

And then...  I made this monstrosity of a list.

So...  You requested it, so here it is.

1500 points.

Lady Jenna.

But, with guest star Lord Commissar Seamus O'Keefe!

I've built a list of things the interwebs dubbed decent, with a smattering of things I had to try out.

(AKA Bullgryn?  Madness!)

My opponent has brought out his sort-of-tried and true Imperial Knight list.

Knights are pretty nasty this edition and besides the fact that they really can't do well on objective missions, they are hella killy.

I only hope I can do well enough to make this one a close affair. (ah... phrasing...)

So how did Jenna and Seamus do?

Was there epic battling or was it just a shameless beatdown?

Read. On.


P.S.  Fluff first for mass conjecture, then rep!

Guards, Guards and Guns (1500): 111 Infantry 3 Vehicles; 9CPS
Lady Jenna's Marauders (Battalion Detachment)
-Lady Jenna Mordheim (Primaris Psyker w/Force Staff)
-Seneschal Jack Hawkins (Company Commander)
-Baron von Oberheim (Tempestus Prime w/Power Sword, Command Rod)
-Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (Scionsx4 w/Plasmaguns)
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol
-Lady Saigo's Rough Riders (Rough Ridersx10 w/Hunting lances)
The 2nd Auric Battalion AKA O'Keefe's Hellions (Battalion Detachment)
-Lord Commissar Seamus O'Keefe (Lord Commissar w/Bolt Pistol, Power Fist)
-Tank Commander w/Punisher Cannon, Heavy Boltersx3
-Priestess Yuki Mishima (Priest w/Power Maul)
-Bone'ead Hilda's Numskulls (Bullgrynx5 w/Bullgryn Mauls, Slabshields 210)
-Commissar w/Bolt Pistol
-Commissar w/Bolt Pistol
-Basilisk w/Earthshaker Cannon, Heavy Bolter
-Basilisk w/Earthshaker Cannon, Heavy Bolter

Questor Imperialis AKA Imperial Knights (1500): 3 LoW (SH Detachment); CP 6
Knight Paladin w/Reaper Chainsword, Rapid-fire Battle Cannon, Heavy Stubbersx2, Ironstorm missile pod
Knight Crusader w/Avenger Gatling Cannon, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Stubber, Heavy Flamer, Twin Icarus Autocannon
Knight Errant w/Reaper Chainsword, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Stubber, Stormspear Rocket Pod


Chapter One: A Rose By Any Other Name

Seneschal Jack Hawkins didn't like any of this affair.  It was bad enough to have to rescue Baron von Oberheim and Lady Saigo from a band of lunatic Genestealers, but it was something entirely else to decide to interfere with an ongoing conflict by a total madman.

Jack glanced over the hastily thrown-together Imperial Guard camp that made up one of the last reserves of Imperial presence on Acix IV.  It was clear that the "famed" Battalion had seen better days and the men lining the walls were barely soldiers.  Their armour was ill-fitting, their demeanor unprofessional and he had sworn that one man had his bayonet on backwards.  How they had held on for so long against any opposition was mind-boggling. 

He took a sidelong gaze at his Captain, the Lady Jenna Mordheim.  She was clearly also having some polite gesticulating at the locals, her perfect platinum blonde hair twirling slightly in the breeze.  The men around her gave off toothy, lustful grins and it took all of Jack's internal grit not to knock those looks off their faces.  But, Jenna was wearing one of her nicest dresses and she had a body that Jack knew could even make the most stalwart ignore the covertly kept psi-inhibitors in the collar.

Lady Jenna Mordheim was one of the most powerful psykers in the sector, and if she needed to, Jack was sure she could turn any of the ponces inside-out.  But, that would be rude, and rather unseemly to their hosts.  Still, the thought did cross his mind and Jenna sighed and gave him a somewhat disappointed look with her piercing violet eyes.  Jack blushed and reminded himself that stray thoughts around a telepath weren't often kept to oneself.

As they neared the officers' tent, he took a moment to straighten the overdone-looking Seneschal uniform and kick the mud out of his heels.  So, he wasn't looking up and almost ran straight into the enormous Ogryn guarding the tent flap.  Jack hadn't seen it around the corner, and it took his mind a few moments to fathom what he was looking at.  The monster was nearly two men's height and wider than three with a face that only a mother could love.  Standard Ogryn fare really, but the pigtails and spattering of white paint on the cheeks that could only pass as horribly failed attempts at makeup were what was throwing him.  Jack had thought that Ogryn must have had females in order to reproduce, but it was one of things you tried not to think about, like what the Warp was really like if you stood outside the Geller Field.

The enormous thing snorted, looked down and said in a growling voice, "Officerz only."

Jack paused and then stammered, "Uh...  We're... Ummm..."

Then, he almost gasped when he saw Lady Jenna step forward and place a delicate hand on the Ogryn's arm.  "Hello, my name's Jenna.  I believe we're expected."

The Ogryn paused, looked up and stuck it's tongue out, clearly trying to remember a detail that was deeply ensconced inside the shell-sized casing of a skull.

Then, when Jack was almost certain that all was lost, a booming voice from inside said, "Hilda!  Don't let our guests wait too long.  Let them in!"

The Ogryn nodded, and said, "You got it Keefer!" before parting to the side and allowing Jack and Jenna passage into the quite-packed tent.

Jack entered first, stepping over half-opened crates containing shells and ammo and paused when he saw the imposing figure smoking a foul-smelling cigar.  A peaked hat and dark greatcoat made him easily recognizable as a commissar and the stern, scarred visage of a man aged to Imperium perfection stared back with a twisted grin.

The Seneschal coughed and started to recite his prepared speech.  "Ah, yes.  Greetings and well met, honored Lord Commissar we are..."

And that was when Jenna stepped forward and said in a barely-heard whisper, "Seamus?"

The Commissar blinked a few times and then walked forward, taking off his hat and taking the cigar out of his mouth.  His voice turned down from it's previous roar and almost human-sounding words came out, "Jenna?  Is that you?"

Seamus O'Keefe took the Captain's hand and a few quiet moments passed as they stared at each other with a familiarity that made Jack's hands itch.

Finally, Jack coughed to break the moment and said, "I take it you two know each other?"

Jenna blushed, and pulled her hand back.  The Commissar shook his head as if waking from a dream.

Jenna nodded and said, "Yes...  we've... met."

O'Keefe muttered in half-astonishment still staring at Jenna, "You...  you haven't changed at all."

The Captain was about to respond when Jack interjected, "Well, then I'm glad we've had this chance to become reaquainted.  You distress call, Lord Commissar, we heard it and came.  We can evacuate you and your men."

The Commissar blinked and then let out a hearty laugh, slapping Jack on the back with a casual blow that nearly bowled him over.

"Evacuate?  No, lad, nothing of the sort.  The Soriatus left a while ago for some sort of crusade or what-not, and we found out there was this scuffle involved with some heretics.  Nearly have them sorted out."


"Yes, lad.  I've still got men and guns and they've got us surrounded."

"Wait... that's sorting them out?"

"Of course, lad.  Hard for them to run away if they're readying to pounce on you.  The call was for anyone to join in for the glory."

"Commissar, you are aware that there's Knight-Titans on the field?"

"Of course lad.  Means that we've got them outnumbered."

"I...  I..."

"A moment, Jack?"

Jack turned to see Lady Jenna in the corner of the tent, a hand on her lips indicating that she needed his attention.  Nodding politely at the Commissar, Jack stepped over to his Captain.

"Jack, you're not going to be able to convince him.  Seamus has never been reasonable in that way."

"But, they're going to be massacred.  He has to see that.  For the good of his people we have to..."

"Jack, what did you see out there?"

"In the camp?  A bunch of raw recruits with surplus gear fighting a war they cannot possibly win."

"And did they look downtrodden?  Hopeless?"

"Well...  Now that you mention it... no."

"That's what this war means to them.  For them, this is a final chance to fulfill their duty and prove that their life has meaning.  To simply force them to leave would be a fate worse than death for them."

"But, it's..."

"Weren't you the same, when you were in the Guard?"

Jack paused, as old ideological memories came flooding back in, the pride of seeing the Aquila, the first time he brought down a rampaging war machine, the cries of victory.

Jenna nodded as if appreciating the memories.  "So you see, Jack, we're going to have to help them.  Seamus...  I owe him that much..."

Looking down, Jack started to see a tear forcing it's way out of his Captain's eye, and he was about to brush it away when the tent flap was torn open and the Ogryn stuck her head in.


O'Keefe laughed, putting his cap back on and his cigar in his mouth.  "Good, right on schedule."

The Commissar stomped over and threw an arm around Jack and Jenna.
"Come on now you two, we've got a war to win!"


Pre-Game Thoughts: Wow, Guard are different in 8th.
I've got a lot of infantry.  But, they're not high quality.
Except for the Storm Troopers...  I mean Tempestus Scions.  (Why must everything be so wordy, GW?)
Hopefully, I can keep them busy with throw-away units and then run out the clock.  I just hope we don't actually have to count on taking down a knight (two dozen 3+ save T8 wounds???), but you never know.
I have no idea how half the units in my army will work, but that's why we're playing...

Mission: Retrieval (4 objectives)
Setup: Spearhead Assault
Jenna: Gaze of the Emperor, Psychic Barrier, Smite
Jenna: Tenacious survivor (ignores wounds on a 6)
Paladin: Legendary fighter (+1 attack if charging)


To be continued!

NEW Orks vs NEW Ultramarines (1500pts): WELCOME TO 8TH!
Hi All,
No, it's not a fever dream.
I'm back.
And so is WAARGH! Grumgutz!
8th has brought a LOT of old faces out of the woodwork and although it's a bit of hurdle to get your mind around on paper, it's been a blast to play.
Rather, it's a really, really new game.
I found that new players actually had an easier time than people who suffered through the dying throes of 7th, as you don't have to "unlearn" all of the arcane ruleset that well... doesn't exist anymore.
And I have to say:
Orks are back with a ton of new tricks and stinker units are now quite nice.
And who best to play my new list out with than one of my old mates.
You may remember him as my somewhat detested Ultramarines rival who went all Battle Company (AKA free transports for everybody!), but now he's brought out a version of his 7th list mostly to see what he has to repaint/remodel.
I know that heartbreak well.
So, my somewhat eclectic list is against a very small Ultramarines force that seems a bit unprepared for the NEW ORK ORDER.
I'm wasn't sure if my new tricks will work, but that's what reps are for!

BTW if you all are wondering, from what I've seen 8th is FAST and BLOODY.
So, it's not a... LONG rep.  But, it's a vicious one...


P.S.  Yes, there is fluff!  Fluff out first then rep to follow, you know how it is... :)
Comments greatly appreciated!

NEW Orks (1500): 80 Infantry, 3 Vehicles; 7 CPs (Battalion and Spearhead)
Ex-Farseer Lorilune (Weirdboy)
Axl Da Goff Rokka (Weirdboy)
Tankbustasx5 w/Rokkits, Boss Nob, Bomb Squig
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, Choppas, Boss Nob
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, Choppas, Boss Nob
Battlewagon w/Deffrolla
Big Mek Wingnut on Warbike w/KFF
Battlewagon w/Deffrolla
Gorkanaut BigToof (Deffstorm mega-shoota, 2 Rokkits, 2 Twin Big shootas, Skorcha)

NEW Ultramarines (1500): 27 Infantry, 4 Vehicles; 6 CPs
Captain on Bike w/Thunder Hammer
Librarian on Bike, Force Sword
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Bikersx5 w/Gravgunsx2
Centurionsx3 w/Gravcannons, Hurricaine Bolters
Devestatorsx5 w/MLx4


Mission: No Quarter (1VP for each unit destroyed)
Setup: Front-Line Assault

Psychic Powers:
Lorilune: Da Jump, Smite
Axl: Warpath, Smite
Librarian: Veil of Time, Might of Heroes, Smite

Wingnut: Inspiring leader (+1Ld to all within 6")
Captain: Legendary Fighter (+1 attack when charging)


Chapter One: The NEW Ork Order

"What do you mean you lot 'don't get it?'"

The screams of Ex-Farseer Lorilune echoed through the patchwork tent thrown up around the vast horde of Orks.  As "pet" of Warlord Grumgutz, the Ex-Farseer had gone through many transformations, an enlightened Farseer, Ork slave, an enlightened Farseer again, and then an abomination again.  As infuriating as her mere existance was to her, she never could underestimate the raw stupidity of the common Ork.

Lorilune felt her staff scrape across the shattered piece of slate that was holding the most simplistic variant of her master plan.  The crowd of Orks winced at the sound and a few shrinked back from her gaze.  Their terror gave her an ounce of solace, but not enough to silence her rage.

Wiping the soot that still clung to her face, Lorilune snarled as she remembered the past few days.  It had been a rather troubling start to her latest adventure when Wingnut and his monstrosity descended upon her somewhat annoying exile upon the Tau world where her former lover once lived.  A flicker of memory of passionate nights of grey skin crossed her mind with bittersweet fondness.  It was a simple time with Bang, but Lorilune knew that it was temporary.  And when the Orks came, she knew that it was time to depart for greater things.  And when they entered the Warp for transit, Wingnut had explained that Grumgutz had told them to rendezvous at an uninhabited planet for some kind of "big plan."

Everything seemed to be going to plan until they exited the Warp into a hail of warning klaxons.  It turned out that the planet wasn't uninhabited anymore and they had run facefirst into some kind of Mon-Keigh defensive array.  Their ship had taken massive damage and although they had managed to severly damage their opponent, the gravity well of the planet pulled them in.  And they had survived planetfall.  More or less.

Lorilune scowled at the tattered remains of the once beautiful dress that had taken her ages to procure.  Now, it was as savage and dirty as the rest of her.  The Orks had an near-anathema to the concept of cleanliness, so in order to find something resembling a decent bath and sauna, they were going to have to attack the nearby Imperial outpost. 
Which was going to be as simple as beating an Ork in a spelling contest, but then the damnable Marines showed up.  Apparently, the Space Marine barge had decided to send down forces of their own, and the fight was going to need some trickery to pull off as the standard Orkish tactic of running into Bolter fire wasn't going to do much.
And that was what she was trying to explain.  But the simpletons just. couldn't. understand.

"Alright.  ONE.  MORE.  TIME.  We're near the forward scouting range of the Space Marines.  No doubt they've seen signs of us and will be trying to make some kind of established forward defense to keep us in check.  However, we will circumnavigate that by doing the following:"

She paused to look at the other surviving Weirdboy, a strange Ork named Axl who had a shaggy mop of a hairsquig on his head and wore all black Goff tribe squig-leathers.  Lorilune had thought the Ork rather strange with the strange looking wires hanging off of his staff that almost resembled a musical instrument.  But, she would take what she could get.

"Step One: Our comrade Axl here will infuse you with Orkish Enhancement Energy to boost you to a desired level of combat ability.  Step Two: I will use my incredible and unmatched control of the Warp to open a Gate to the flank of the Mon-Keigh.  Step Three: You lot will charge forward and attack them and while they are flat-footed we will drive  them out."

One Ork raised his hand.

Lorilune sighed and nodded.

"So...  Axl's gonna juice us up and then we'z gonna Jump?"

"YES!" screamed Lorilune as the other Orks gave out sounds of astonished surprise and cries of "Dat's smart dat is."  Finally they understood.  Now they just needed Wingnut to hold up his side of the bargain.  A musical sounding horn brought her attention to the outside of the tent where she could hear the rumbling of something large.

Lorilune pushed past the crowd of Orks and looked at a pair of ramshackle looking Battlewagons.

Khaine's blood, she thought, it had been an age since she had ridden in one of those.  Then her nose wrinkled at the memory of how many of those had blown up rather violently.

"'Ey Louie!"

Lorilune's head jerked up as she saw Big Mek Wingnut jumping up and down proudly in the open bed of the nearest mobile scrapheap.

"I'z got us some Wagons just like you asked.  Now'z we good to go?"

A frown crossed Lorilune's face.  "This is it?  Two Battlewagons?  Are you aware that the Marines have three tanks of their own as well as a mobile force of bikes?  We'll be cut to shreds!"

"Uh, well..." sputtered Wingnut, "Dat's all the Wagons I could get.  The fall done smashed most of 'em."

"You are joking, aren't you?" jabbed Lorilune, "An entire starship and all you could muster is a lousy set of wheeled transports?"

"Well, no..." admitted Wingnut, "I did get enough ta work on BigToof."

"Oh, wonderful," said Lorilune with an extra layer of sarcasm, "You fixed up that moronic monstrosity.  How droll.  Let me guess, you made him bigger?"

"Yup!" said Wingnut, pleased to see that Big Louie was at least using happy words again, "I done did dat.  'Course I mighta overdone it a bit."

The ground trembled, knocking everyone off their feet and an enormous bellow rattled through the air.


Lorilune scrambled to her feet and gasped as an enormous... thing blocked out the sun.
Swallowing, she said to Wingnut, "Yes... yes I think that will do, Wingnut.  That will do indeed."


"Sir, may I please remind you that all of this is highly irregular."

Librarian Sigmund Novenus of the Ultramarines tried again to reason with his golden-locked superior who was humming to himself while cleaning his Thunder Hammer.
A shining gleam flicked off his perfect grin as Captain Excelsior Maximus laughed at his austere partner.  Sunshine flickered in through the verdant trees and Maximus shook his head.

"Sigmund, Sigmund, Sigmund.  My friend, you are worrying yourself to death.  After all, the Universe couldn't be better?"

Novenus raised an eyebrow, "Sir, you mean the Massive Warp Storms that have split the Imperium?  The Fall of Cadia?  The sudden appearance of an Ork WAARGH that threatens the safety of this entire sector?"

"No, no, no, Sigmund.  You're looking about this the wrong way.  The Primarch is back.  It proves that indeed, all this time, WE were right and all those fiddling little mongrel chapters had it all dead wrong."

Novenus paused, "Sir, the reports do state that Roboute Guilliman was not necessarily pleased with how the..."

"Abupbupbup, Sigmund, now that's looking at the empty half of the glass.  The Great Guilliman simply sees things in a way that is beyond mortal comprehension.  Why the complexities of the mind of a Primarch are such above even my own, it would be like comparing my own massive intellect with I don't know... a Space Wolf or something.  With Guilliman in charge, nothing can possibily go wrong."

"Yes, sir.  That's... one way to see it.  But, surely deciding to lead a very limited hunting party on your own without reinforcements could be seen as... overconfidence."

"Overconfidence, Sigmund?  You wound me.  Why, we aren't dealing with something as complex as Gr... Grum..." the Space Marine Captain paused as he stifled what surely couldn't be a spasm of dread, what with the Astartes feeling no fear and all, "THAT Ork isn't here.  We just have stragglers that need sword and bolter to send to the wind."

"I... suppose so, sir.  But, cleansing a world completely from Orks is a nigh-impossible goal."

"That's why we're here Sigmund.  Because we're Ultramarines.  We DO the Impossible.  I wonder if this is how Guilliman felt when he began the Great Crusade.  Standing on the edge of civilization looking out into the unknown with only the assured knowledge that victory will soon be in your grasp...  Stunning, isn't it?"

Novenus was about to respond when the the ground shook and birds took to the skies.  Something was coming.  Something big.

A giant, half-rusted mechanical head the size of a Predator turned the corner around a hill and the air echoed with an off-tune whistle that burst into something resembling song,


The two Marines stood in shocked silence for a moment before Maximus spoke.

"Sigmund?  I think we're going to need a bigger boat."

To Be Continued!

News, Rumours and Trading / 8th Edition Announced: It's FREE??
« on: April 22, 2017, 03:59:48 PM »
Hi All,
New edition for 40k is announced.
Big news: The main rules are going to be FREE.
The actual points values (ala AoS) is going to be updated annually, probably akin to the General's Handbook.
Every model is supposed to be included (even forgeworld) in the update.
"Faster, Better" type of gameplay.



News, Rumours and Trading / Ynnead Lives! New Eldar God?
« on: January 22, 2017, 08:07:53 PM »
Hi All,
Just FYI, new GW video and models.
Ynnead, the Eldar god of the Dead now has three new models including a sick looking avatar.
Generally more of a Dark Eldar/Coven look to them, which I approve.
Subtext: Fracture of Biel-tan.
Which is my favorite Craftworld, so kudos to them.
What does this mean?
Is Slaanesh dead?
Who are the new models?  (One of them has a fan... Is that you Malys?)

Hype and more!


Genestealers/IG vs. White Scars/Knight (1500) in "The Massacre of Ariana Ridge" (1/14)

Hi All,
I've got a short but sweet little BatRep.
It's the Genestealers with the Baron against the awesome might of the White Scars and a Knight!
I was a bit worried, as I haven't fought a Knight before with the Stealers and the Baron isn't packing really high-grade anti-tank weaponry.
Still, my advantage was the fact that my opponent had gone all in on grav (which my army loves to see as they have at best a 5+ armor save) and I had almost FIVE times the models.
Still, if it's kill points, I'm kind of screwed, but if not, it's going to be an interesting cat-and-mouse kind of affair!
And as it turned out, it was a rather quick one too...



P.S.  Fluff is inbound!

The Lists

Genestealers/IG (1500): 98 Infantry, 2 Vehicles; 19 VPs, 6WC
The Cult of the Star Emperor
Lords of the Cult
- Ra'Oh the Star Emperor (Patriarch w/Mastery2)
- Highfather Magnus (Magus w/Mastery2)
Brood Cycle
- Acolyte Iconsward
- Metamorphsx5 w/Claws
- Genestealersx16
- Acolytesx5
- Acolytesx5
- Acolytesx5
- Neophytesx10 w/Seismic Cannonsx2
- Neophytesx10 w/Seismic Cannonsx2
Subterranean Uprising
- Primus
- Acolytesx10 w/Cult Icon
- Acolytesx5 w/Cult Icon
- Metamorphsx5 w/Claws, Cult Icon
IG Allies
- Baron von Oberheim (CCS w/Lascannon in Chimera)
-- Officer of the Fleet
-- Master of Ordinance
- Natalia Maximov (Primaris Psyker, Mastery2)
- Lady Tomoe Saigo (Veterans w/Meltagunsx2 in Chimera)

White Knight(s) (1500): 20 Infantry, 1 Vehicle, 1SH; 8VPs, 2WC
White Scars CAD
- Captain w/Bike, Artificer Armor, Thunder Hammer, Shield Eternal
- Librarian w/ ML2, Force Axe, Hunter's Eye
- Command Squad w/Bikes, Gravgunsx4, Stormshieldsx2 Apothecary
- Bikesx5 w/Gravgunsx2, Sgt w/Meltabomb
- Bikesx5 w/Gravgunsx2, Sgt w/Meltabomb
- Drop Pod
- Grav Centurionsx3 w/Omniscope, ML
Knight Errant

Chapter Two: Kings and Knights

Captain Tolui Khan looked out at the blasted world and shook his head.

"No, Brother, there is no other option.  Our quarry has already started to flee."

With a gesture, a hologram appeared showing a mish-mash of space-faring vessels that started to emerge like fleas from a dying rat, struggling to escape the gravitary pull of the planet.  Normally, Tolui would not bother himself with such trivial matters as a simple PDF uprising, but his Brother Librarian spoke of a hidden danger.

"Brother Tolui, it is more than it seems."

Tolui looked across the warplans at the shaved head embossed with psy-dampeners.  Brother Librarian Guyuk was oft-times incorrigible, but his future sight was second-to-none.

"The gates of the future open to me, and show a rotting cancer that has its roots in this world."

Tolui paced looking at the scans.

"And the Rogue Trader in orbit?"

"Likely compromised already.  If we were the Inquisition..."

"If we were the Inquisition, Brother Guyuk, we would not be here in the first place."

Nodding grimly to himself, Tolui pointed at the marked spot on the scans.

"And you are certain that the head of the snake lies here?"

"As clearly as I can see, Brother.  There are powers in the Warp that dwarf even mine at play here.  I dare not intrude further lest I make our presence known."

Tolui nodded.  A lightning strike then to finish the menace before it could gather strength.

"Ready the men.  Let them know that the time of glory is nigh!  Let our enemies pray to whatever blasphemous gods they worship, for their day of reckoning is upon them!"


"Baron, please you have to listen to reason!"

The slight figure of Primaris Psyker Natalia Maximov ran through the broken ruin, chasing after the officer in front of her.  She winced again as the headache that had been plaguing her since landing on the planet came again to the fore.

The man in front of her turned, and the full power of authority bore down on Natlalia as the monacled visage of Baron von Oberheim glared at her with the fury of a thousand suns.

"What is it now, woman?  It is not enough that I bowed to your pathetic request?  They are clearly loyal servants of the Emperor."

Natalia glanced back at the underground room that they had just walked out of.

"But, but...  Doesn't it strike you as odd?  Everything being performed underground and they... they spoke as if the Emperor was on THIS planet."

The Baron sighed and rolled his eyes, "Clearly, you have not seen enough planets.  I've visited backwater worlds where they thought the Emperor lived in little pieces of cracked bread.  It is not the way in which they worship, but it is the underlying loyalty behind it.  You would think that a Vostroyan would understand that."

Natalia felt her cheeks blush.

"I...  I'm just saying that we need to be careful.  They..."

"They," continued the Baron, "are a group of simple-minded folk who I find far more reasonable and reliable than you.  You could learn a lot from them, Mutant.  A simple mind is the best sort of mind.  Once we evacuate them from the planet then we will be on our way, and you will have nothing to worry about.  I..."

A comm-bead whine interrupted the Baron's tirade.

The somewhat less-sultry voice of Lady Tomoe Saigo came over the comms.

"Baron-chan, Little Psyker, we have company."

The Baron snarled, "Not now, woman.  I am in the middle of an important..."

A roar of engines brought the duo's attention skyward as an enormous white Thunderhawk descended from the skies like a meteor.  Attached to it was the perched form of an Imperial Knight.  The war titan dropped to the ground with a crash, sending a tremor through the region, knocking debris and rubble to the side in a cloud of destruction.


Natalia swallowed.  Just when things didn't seem like they could get worse...

Mission: Relic
Setup: Vanguard (Diagonals)
Night Fight: ON
Psychic Powers:
Librarian: Prescience, Invisibility (!)
Patriarch: Iron Arm, Telepathic Summoning (!)
Magus: Mind Control, Mass Hypnosis, Psionic Blast
Natalia: Prescience, Forewarning (4+invul), Forewarning (full BS Overwatch)

Setup: The board is setup fairly standard with ruins near the sides and mostly scattered trees lining the center.
White Scars setup first and put their bikes across the front line and the Knight behind them.  Pod with Libby and Grav Cents go in reserve.
I then put the Chimeras in my backfield and then proceed to roll for my Cult Ambush.
The Patriarch is the only 6 though, so I put him behind the Knight with the Primus and his Acolytes behind them.  I then sprinkle the other two Acolyte squads in forests and then put the Magus in one corner with some Neophytes and the Acolyte Banner in the opposite corner. Metamorphs go in the furthest corner.
My opponent is somewhat aghast that now he's the one surrounded!
Granted it's by a bunch of guys with popguns and tissue paper armor, but that's besides the point!

The White Scars decide to go first.
I... fail to seize.  Again.
And thus the game is on!

Picture Caption: Did you know that I knew that you didn't know that I knew that you were completely surrounded?!

Turn 1: White Scars

Captain Tolui Khan swore as he heard the skittering sounds in the ruin behind them.  It was a trap!

"Baron Karvens, I leave the creatures in the ruin to you.  Everyone else, pick your target and ride for glory!"

A familiar whistling sound drew his attention skyward and he smiled in satisfaction as the Drop Pod landed with a satisfying smash, disgorging the Centurions and Brother Guyuk into the fray.  The beacon in the center of the camp was the communications hub for the enemy.  If taken, then their entire operation would be in disarray.  He looked around and saw no challenging cries, no attempts to single out a leader.  So, they were cowards indeed...

Let the rats feel what it is like when they try to trap a lion!
The Drop Pod skitters a bit off course, but lands in about the right place, dividing the Relic from the Chimeras in the corner.
My opponent rides forwards aiming for my squads in the corners and also forwards towards the ruin.  The Knight turns around with probably not the best intentions for my Patriarch's Genestealers.

The Libby tries to get off invisibility and fails.

The shooting phase has the Knight completely fail to do anything (go 2+ cover save!  GSC bonuses are the best.) to the Stealers while the Bikes shoot apart one of the small cultists and sends the other Acolyte squad running.
The Centurions also wreck the Vet's Chimera.

Assault has the Knight slamming into the Stealers.  The big guy ends up taking down only three or so as his stomps aren't that stellar (bless you 5++ Stealers!), and loses FOUR hull points thanks to counter-assault and the nearby Primus giving me Hatred!

Picture Caption: First Blood to the White Scars!  Things are getting rekt!

Turn 1: Genestealers

Baron Karvens swore as he swung at the Xenos that stuck to his Knight like lice.
They were small, but the creatures had claws like power swords that were slowly slicing him to ribbons.

Why wasn't he warned about things like this?

Then, one of the creatures, the largest one, screamed and glowed brightly with some kind of malevolant energy.  It threw itself at the Knight's head and with an otherwordly force smashed through the damaged Knight's helm like a massive bullet.

The enormous machine shuddered and fell as Star Emperor Ra'Oh looked away from the resulting explosion.  The machine's pilot had the same basic weakness as all humans:

Their flesh was weak.  But, thankfully quite tasty.

Movement has all of the non-necessary (i.e. Primus, Acolytes, Metamorphs) squads going Back into the Shadows! (and you know... reserves).
Now what to do... I know!

When the going gets tough, bring a LOT of friends.

I get a massive windfall from the Psychic dice this turn, and I get Summoning, Mind Control AND Iron Arm off.

My opponent is taken aback when I summon TWENTY Neophytes next to Centurions (also nicely screening for the Vets) as well as getting Mind Control off on one of the Centurions, who proceeds to nearly shoot a Bike squad to death (Grav is a double-edged sword after all!).
I then proceed to have the Baron drop a pie-plate from the Master of Ordinance that lands mostly on-target with a Lascannon on the side.  When all is said and done three bikes were taken out.  The Chimera also does a few wounds to the last remaining bike from the squad that was ripped up by the Mind Controlled Grav Centurion, which is enough to finish off the squad.  The Vets and newly made cultists shoot one Centurion to death with mass lasgun and Mining Lasers/Meltaguns.

Assault has the very speedy Stealers manage to (barely) shave off the last hull points from the Knight, which thankfully falls away from the crowd of Xenos at its feet and explodes in a not-too-terrifying explosion that knocks the large group of Stealers down to about half their original number.

Picture Caption: I HAVE RESERVES.

Turn 2: White Scars
A massive explosion tore Captain Tolui's attention back to the ruins on his rear flank.
The Knight had fallen.  And it could not have been at a worse time.  A vertiable horde of heretics had burst forth from the very ground, waving guns at them.  Although individually unimpressive, Tolui knew that his time was growing short.  This was becoming less of a lightning strike and more of a grinding siege.

The latter of which he knew his force could not survive.

"Brothers!  To me!  We shall have vengeance for our fallen!  Brother Guyuk, hold the line!  Push these heathens back!"


Reeling from the loss of the Knight and the sudden influx of Neophytes, my opponent decides to strike back.  Kind of.

The Libby moves up to the new Neophytes as do the last of the regular Bikers.
The Captain and his Command Squad do a 180 and head for the Stealers.

Invis goes up on the Centurions.

Shooting has massive holes ripped out the Neophytes, but they refuse to run.

So assault then has the Bikes crash into the Neophytes who again are massively wounded, but still refuse to run.

As an aside, the Command Squad shoot and down a Stealer.  They then try to assault and are just millimeters short.  (shouldn't have shot the Stealer...)

Picture Caption: It's ok.  Neophytes are best bought in bulk anyway.

Turn 2: Genestealers

"I've got you now, Xenos scum!  Prepare to die!"

Captain Tolui rode high in his saddle, laughing as the Xenos hid amongst the ruble.  Then, it seemed as if the earth itself around him was alive as the ground shook and trembled.  Dozens of hooded cultists half-shambled out of the hidden tunnels, blades and claws at the ready.

Star Emperor Ra'Oh allowed himself a toothy grin as he saw his Primus take the field.  Fear was the tastiest of seasoning.  Which was a problem when dealing with Space Marines.  Although, he had to admit, when tearing one of the white-clad bikers from its saddle and pushing his oviprobiscus through its face, dispair was close enough.

Ra'Oh decides that it's time to end this and most of the army comes in from reserves.
I sadly enough only get 6's on the Primus' squad and a random group of five Acolytes, but hopefully that'll be enough.
The Stealers move out of cover and edge up to the bikes.  The Acolyte Banner gets close enough to cover most of the action in it's Furious Charge/FNP-lite radius.  The Primus also arrives to offer his bonus to the Patriarch as well.

And to add MORE fuel to the fire I get off another big summoning, dropping another 20 Neophytes next to the relic and then get Iron arm off on the Patriarch.

I actually manage to take down a Centurion with wild mass shooting, but that's not the main show as the Stealers and Primus' Acolytes hit the Command Squad both ways.
Furious charge and Hatred with a bucket-load of dice leave nothing left of the Bikes.
The Acolyte small squad suffers heavy losses, but also cleans up the two bikes.

Turn 3: White Scars
The Librarian again tries to get Invisibility, perils and dies.
The lone Centurion realizing that he is literally outnumbered a hundred to one decides that it's best to just get the heck out of dodge.

And with that the game ends!

Result: Genestealers/IG Victory!


Post-Game Thoughts: Wow, this was short and ugly.

New Thoughts:
Summoning is just massively OP when it works.  I basically got in 40 free models that while they are just somewhat wimpy Guardsmen, that's FORTY FREE models that got in the way and did light shooting.  For an army like mine that lives and dies on board control, this was massively helpful and just locked down parts of the table.

Mind Control was also sort of bonkers as the Centurions were their own worst enemy when they almost erased a Bike squad on their own.

The Patriarch did most of the heavy lifting again, with Ra'Oh putting the personal finish on a KNIGHT of all things.  However, it becomes clear that the Primus really acts to just up the ante of any of the rending units.  I have having difficulty NOT hitting guys with my attacks, which is just where you want them.
Now, if I could get Natalia to one day get the re-rolls wounds psychic power, I think we're talking about unstoppable combos.

Oh and as for the IG:
The Baron actually killed something this time around!  I'm keeping his cover ignoring Lascannon and pie-plate for the moment.  Oh, and the Vets also did in one Centurion, so I can't complain about much.

Looking at the casualty range, it's pretty amazing:
Space Marines: 19 (with one surrender)
Imperial Guard: 0 (One Chimera needs repairs)
Cultists: Lots (But who's counting anyway?)

I'm starting to like the army more and more as I write and play, as it's really neat to think about all the different variations that you can work with and you can snowball out of control just with so many models on the table.
It's like (gasp) Horde armies are suddenly viable?
Hmm... although I have to admit that it's partially that my opponent was so geared to fighting elite armies that he didn't have a flamer to his name.
I think his exact comment was something along the lines of "there's just too many of the [expletive] on the board."
Anyway, the Stealer hype train lives on!

Baron von Oberheim looked out amongst the rubble and carnage with a feeling of sweet satisfaction.  Although masquerading as loyal Astartes did buy the heretics a few moments of surprise, it became quite clear that they were indeed traitorous scum that deserved no mercy.  The Psyker was again going on and on about the natives, but that mattered little.  Not too surprisingly, Saigo had wrecked her tank again, but the Baron put that up to the fault of her sex.  After all, you couldn't hope for much with a woman of her breeding.

Glancing around the debriefing table, he saw the slightly smokey visages of Natalia and Lady Saigo on one side and the native's leader on the other.  The Baron hadn't met the leader much, a rather unusual sort of Priest, but every encounter showed the man to be of proper protocol and deference.  Even now, he could see that the Priest kept his head bowed in supplication, murmuring prayers to the God-Emperor.  How could one have doubts about such piety?

"Baron, are you listening to me?"

The Baron snarled and turned his attention to Natalia, who was red in the face from her unnecessary exuberance.

"Yes, yes," sighed the Baron, "You're worried about the local fauna.  I suppose they won't be much of an issue once the planet sunders."

"But, didn't you hear?  They want to bring some of them on their crafts!  Why?  Isn't that suspicious?"

The Baron rolled his eyes, "I'm sure that the Priests have some reason for it.  Forgive my inferior's proddings, Priest, but why do you need the creatures?"

Highfather Magnus looked up with a toothy grin, and there was something in the man's eyes that instantly put the Baron's mind at ease.  He was reminded of the harsh, but fair trainers at the Scholasta.  Real men who would whip you just as soon talk to you.  Happy times indeed.

"The Sand-Dwellers are cut from the blood of the Star-Emperor, your grace.  We need only a few transports for them.  They will be no trouble.  Please allow us to bring our culture with us.  You, who are so giving, so magnanimous.  We seek only your permission for this so small of a gesture."

The Baron nodded and said, "You do realize that this will mean that some of your people will not be able to evacuate."

Magnus nodded, "Yes, yes your grace.  They sacrifice themselves willingly.  Thank you innumerable times."

And with that, the strange robed man bowed and scraped his way out of the officer's tent.  Ignoring the sputters of protests from the Psyker, Baron von Oberheim looked out of the flap at the rising sun.  Clearly the Imperium had steel left in it yet.

Fluff and Stories / Dark Heresy IRL Campaign
« on: January 07, 2017, 03:58:51 PM »
Dark Heresy Game 1: Plans never survive first contact with the Players

Hi All,
Well, this thread is going to be different.
I've just started a Dark Heresy 2nd Ed. game and it's been... interesting.
I haven't gamed in forever, but I did have a few mates who were interested in starting a campaign and I was quickly given the GM hat.
So, I put them up as henchmen of an Inquisitor Agatha Brimstone of the Ordo Xenos.
(Die-hard fans of BigToof Batreps may recognize this name...)
I had three players who made... interesting characters.
I've played with two of the players before, both who make basically the same characters.

The responsible mate (usually plays paladins, priests, etc) decided to go with an Imperial Guard Warrior named Rupert Tillsworthy.
His backstory (in short) is that he was the last of the Cadian 666th that died horribly in a mission gone wrong, and was given the choice of serving the Inquisition or well you know... BLAM.
He was described as an older sort with white hair and a father figure to his men.
He was quickly nicknamed "Sgt Till" or "Daddy T" by the players.
(Soldier 76 quotes may or may not have been used at this time)
Nothing amazing stat or weapon-wise, but he did concentrate on leadership mechanics.

The second player who I have politely named a "min-max" style of player decided to go with an Outcast Assassin named Reaper Doomsbringer (I kid you not).
Large amounts of detail were put into his guns (oversized pistols) and not a small amount of wheedling was done to get me to let him "hot-shot" the pistols.
I didn't get a lot of history, but I was told that he was a really good killer.  So good that the Inquisition sought him out for his skills.
(I highly doubted that last part, but I let it go for the first session)
Concentrated on high weapon stats/skills and tanked on everything else.

The third player was the sister of the Sgt Till player, and had never really played tabletop before.
(So, like many first-timers, she pretty much made a slightly different version of herself)
She made a Tech Priest Sage named ABB13 (nicknamed "Abbie"), because she said she wanted to "know all the stuff and how to fix it."
She then told me a pretty detailed description of her look and also about her mechadendrite.
(Many, many inadvertent and not to inadvertent phallus jokes were made over the session)
It was emphasized that she was pretty, but not too stand-outish with really organized and clean accoutrements.
I'm not sure if was intentional or not that she had very few combat skills.
A point of side hilarity was that she hadn't much of an idea as to what 40k was, so I gave her the short primer version.  After listening intently, she said "So it's basically Torchwood in Space?"





So, our game started with Agatha giving the PCs their mission of investigating Mining Facility XM-232, a far-off and out of the way small mining colony on an asteroid belt that had triggered some kind warning that there might be Xenos activity in the area.
My GM plan was that there was a Genestealer Cult that had been active at XM-232 and was nearing the uprising stage.  XM-232 was a small colony, but with access to vital shipping lanes that went all over the Imperium.  If the Stealers could take over the colony, it would be a dire strait for the Imperium.

Of course, I didn't tell any of that to the players, who were given the cover of part of the crew of a standard Imperial refueling/supply run vessel.
We started play with the PCs getting off their cramped ship and into the narrow corridors of the mining asteroid.  I had described it as being kind of claustrophobic with red and orange sandy walls ala Total Recall.

The PCs then have the somewhat ludicrous plan to split up.  Well, it's not so much a plan as that each player wanted to look at something different and just wandered off.
The Sarge went to the Governor's palace and was able to talk his way into speaking to the guy in charge.  I described Governor Boris Drumf as a bombastic little man with crazy hair and completely out of touch with his people.  The Sarge rolled well and was able to get on the Governor's good side, who let the player in on that he had been trying to crack down on the religious nuts in the lower classes, but hadn't had much success.
Somehow (I blame PC paranoia), the Sarge got it into his head that Boris was a heretic, trying to get him to admit that he didn't believe in the divinity of the Emperor.

Abbie went to the Techpriests of the area, who were being met by a NPC that was from the Cult.  I tried to make it seem shady, and then have the NPC dart away, but Abbie rolled well and was able to catch the NPC before he got too far.
Sadly, I hadn't written anything up on the guy, so I covered as best I could and called him "Ryan."  The player asked what he looked like, and I kind of hand-waved and she kind of filled in details for me.  What I didn't know at the time is that I had inadvertently turned him into a bald Ryan Gosling, who apparently is a major heartthrob for the player.
So, Ryan the Cultist dropped a metric ton of hints that he was into shady cult stuff, but Abbie was more interested in awkward mechadendrite flirting and all of the hints sailed over her head.  She did get his contact info, so I suppose that was that.

Reaper went to the shady black-market area and spent a lot of time bullying people, stealing their stuff and buying drugs and somewhat illegal gear.  I did drop hints from the merchant that shady stuff was going on and that the upper class and the mining lower class were at odds and things were getting heated.

So, the PCs met up, compared notes and concluded that Boris the Governor was a heretic and probably a daemon-worshipper and what-not.  I pointed out that their clues were that a XENOS Inquisitor sent them, but I got that look of "trying to shake us off the trail Mr. GM?  For Shame."

Realizing that my plot was thrown in the thresher, I let it all play out.
Abbie lead the PCs back to Ryan and the Cult of the Four-Armed Emperor (it was my last ditch attempt to clue them in), and well... they rolled really well.
At the end of it all, they convinced Ryan to come with them and organized a mass uprising against Governor Boris.

We then went to the assault on the Governor's manor, who tried to hold them off, but there were far too many miners and the PCs had dispatched most of the guards and sabotaged their armory.  Boris tried to escape, but the PCs caught up with him and tortured him until he admitted that yes, he was a hertic and that the PCs had uncovered his dastardly plot.  The PCs then blam-shotted him in the head and burnt the manor to the ground to prevent any heresy from getting out.

They then signaled back to their handlers for pick-up and everyone had a grand party before the game ended.  All the players really liked the game and are looking forward to the next one.

Despite my plans falling apart in the first hour or two, I guess I did as well...

Hope you all enjoyed my write up, and let me know if you would like more!


Hi All,
New books on the horizon, things that I've been dreaming of for a while.
Traitor legions (with new Thousand Suns on the cover!)
Imperial Agents (including Sisters of Battle!)

I'm kind of excited, but the community seems so worn out, I'm not sure if it's enough to breed excitemetn anymore...

So...  Any renewed interest or are we all just waiting for 8th?


Genestealers/IG vs TauDarZilla (1500) in "The Baron Returns!"

Hi All,
The new Codex is just fluffy and great, with some unique mechanics.
The most eye-brow raising of which is that you can ASSAULT out of better-than-infiltrate or even on FIRST TURN.
Granted, it's random, but it's a SCARY random result.
With T3 models with barely any armor save...




Smells like a Greenskin plan!
In any case, I made a simple-ish list and then went looking for a game.
I didn't have a lot of options, but I managed to find a mate who was running something filthy:


AKA Wraithknight and a RIPTIDE WING.

That's hella dirty.

Umm...  I have a lot of rending?

Uphill battle if I ever heard of it, but hopefully I was going to get some beginners luck.  Granted, I decided to take the beastly unit of Patriarch plus TWENTY Genestealers, but I wasn't sure if it'll be enough...

How did it go?



P.S.  Yes, there's some fluff too :)
C&C is greatly appreciated!


Genestealers/Imperial Guard 1500: 91 Infantry, 2 Vehicles; (17 VPs, 6 WC)
Cult of the Star Emperor (Genestealers Cult Insurrection Detachment)
First Curse
- Ra'Oh the Star Emperor (Patriarch w/Mastery2)
- Genestealersx20
Lord of the Cult
- Highfather Magnus (Magus w/Mastery2)
Brood Cycle
- Acolyte Iconsward
- Metamorphsx5 w/Claws
- Genestealersx5
- Acolytesx5
- Acolytesx5
- Acolytesx5
- Neophytesx10 w/Webbersx2, Seismic Cannonsx2
- Neophytesx10 w/Webbersx2, Seismic Cannonsx2
Shadow Skulkers
- Genestealersx5
Lady Jenna's Marauders (Imperial Guard Allies)
- Baron von Oberheim (CCS w/Meltagun, Lascannon in Chimera)
-- Officer of the Fleet
-- Master of Ordinance
- Natalia Maximov (Primaris Psyker, Mastery2)
- Lady Tomoe Saigo (Veterans w/Plasmagunsx2, Carapace Armor in Chimera)

TauDar Zilla List 1500: 20 Infantry, 3 MCs, 1 GC (10 VPs, 3 WC)
Eldar CAD
- Farseer w/Jetbike, Stones
- Jetbikesx3 w/Scatter Lasers
- Jetbikesx3 w/Scatter Lasers
- Jetbikesx3 w/Scatter Lasers
- Warp Spidersx5, Exarch
- Warp Spidersx5, Exarch
- Wraithknight w/D-cannons, Scatter Lasersx2
Riptide Wing
- Riptide w/Heavy Burst Cannon, TL-SMS, VT, EWO
- Riptide w/Ion Accelerator, TL-Fusion, EWO, Counterfire
- Riptide w/Ion Accelerator, TL-Fusion, EWO, Counterfire


Chapter One: The Baron Returns

"My Lord Baron, it pleases you, yes?"

Baron von Oberheim nodded to himself and the assembled group in the officer's tent.  It was a fine painting, made of ocher paints that accurately depicted his rugged physique and countenance.

The ancient art of portraiture was clearly not lost on even the rabble of Urgot XIII, a mining colony in the armpit of the Imperium.  He was one of the few who openly objected to the concept of endangering the Rogue Trader and its crew to aid in the evacuation of the colony.  They were a filthy rabble after all.  No one in the Imperium would miss them if they were gone.
But Lady Jenna and her vast bleeding heart had decided against common sense and now here he was.  At least he had managed to wrench control of the operation, so there was some sense of civility in the matter.  Granted, Seneschal Hawkins had made some sort of excuse about unknown long-range signals, but that mattered little.

What did matter was that the right man was now in charge.  And it was good, because the situation needed a firm hand.

Urgot was a pile of excrement that was literally falling apart at the seams.  Dredged up buildings were everywhere, and the scum that clung to its surface were barely human.  But, at least they knew their place.

Their leader was a pale, smiling toad of man named Highfather Magnus, a religious figure of some sort that venerated the Emperor with a sense of ribald fanaticism that was common in the far reaches.  It was a kind of familiar sentiment that at least gave the Baron purchase in his assumption that they were at least a decent sort under their scaberous coat. 

Evacuation was taking far too long as there were always some kind of setback that the Baron attributed to gross incompetence, although some may think otherwise.

He glanced back at the nervous looking crimson-haired woman that paced around the tent with a frenzied energy that made his insides curl.

Natalia Maximov was a psyker.  A mutant.  It supposedly gave her powers beyond the pale to look into the future and somesuch.

The Baron found that all it did was make the woman more annoying than normal for her breed.  A fact which culminated in her trembling remarks that broke him out of his reverie.

"Baron, is that why are we still here?  You waited to have a painting made of yourself?"

Baron von Oberheim shook his head, "I am merely doing a service, Psyker.  I am allowing these little people the opportunity to serve their betters.  After all, who is giving them the chance to escape from this misbegotten world?"

Natalia paced a bit more, before swiveling on a heel, "I mean, that's another thing.  Why is this planet becoming unstable?  Did you look at the geology reports?  It doesn't make sense.  And the constant engine failures with the escape craft...  I mean...  Don't you think it's... sabotage?"

A low guttural sound escaped the Baron's throat.

"Are you...  Are you suggesting that the Highfather and his people don't want to escape?"

The Baron motioned to the bowing and scraping throng, who left with appropriate supplication.

"No," said Natalia, "I mean...  There's more going on here than it seems...  I mean... Don't they come off as a bit odd?  I mean, the Highfather and his people they're...  I mean...  They have no hair!"

Natalia bit her lip as she said the words, a shaft of light glinting off the bald pate of the Baron's scalp and a trembling eyebrow rose on the military officer.

"Are you saying that baldness is a form of defect, woman?"

"No, no, I...  I..."

"I think that's enough of you and your trembling.  Kick Saigo out of her stupor.  The ships are finally ready to depart, and I do not want to spend another moment in your presence."

Before she could respond, the Baron stormed out of the tent.

Wonderful, thought Natalia, You certainly haven't lost your way with words.

But, she wished could explain things to the Baron in a way that made sense.  The future which was fairly cloudy, but stil recognizable through her powers had become disturbingly opaque.  It was as if... a great... Shadow... had fallen over her mind.  Perhaps it meant nothing, but something was wrong, she was sure of it.

She only hoped that she lived long enough to regret all of this...

"This is intolerable."

Farseer Illandara of the Saim-Hann slammed a slender fist against the wraithbone dias that was projecting the holograph report.  The Mon'Keigh Rogue Trader had come to defend the Genestealers.  It was a fairly simple matter to destabilize the core of the already heavily mined planet, and it was simple enough for the entire cancer to be burned away in the fiery conflagration to follow.

But once again, the Mon'Keigh were being a thorn in her side.

Something caught her eye, and a hint of recognition went over her visage. 

A wry, vicious smile crept over lips.  She knew this vessel.  They had ferried her hated rival, Archon Lady D'ysperax, and they had defeated her in a humiliating battle not so long ago.  Now it was her turn for vengeance.

"Summon the Wraithknight," she said to the Warp Spider Exarch at her side,
"The Eldar march to war.  ... And summon the Tau.  We have need of our catspaws once again."

The Exarch nodded and disappeared with a humm of his Warp Jump generator.
Illandara nodded to herself.  Not only would she gain glory against the alien brood, but justice for all the Craftworlds would be carried out with a single stroke.  Fortune smiled upon her.  All she needed to do was take it.

Pre-Game Thoughts: Wow, that's a chunky, chunky list.

Four GIANT monsters and I've got a lot of filthy, filthy rabble.

Still, I've got a lot of rending, although I have no idea how I'll be able to catch everyone.  Warp Spiders are hella fast second only to Jetbikes.

I...  I have no idea how I can do this.

Still, play to the mission and hope it's not Kill Points!

Mission: The Scouring (whew)
Setup: Vanguard (Diagonal)
- Patriarch: Psychic Scream, Endurance
- Magus: Psychic Scream, Hypnotic Gaze
- Natalia: Prescience, Forewarning (4+invul), Precognition (Psyker only re-rolls)
- Farseer: Psychic Scream, Invisibility (!!), Fortune (!!!)
- Patriarch: Can choose any Cult Ambush (!!)
- Farseer: Move Through Cover and Stealth (Ruins)
First Curse: Genestealers do not suffer initiative penalties (!)

Deployment Preview:

Picture Caption: S-S-STEALER SHOCK!

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