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Turn 2: Genestealers/IG
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"Sir?"
"Dash it all, Guardsman," snarled the Baron, who was finding a proper place to hang his portrait, "What's so important?"
"The... Xenos, sir. They're... they're being eaten."
The Baron raised an eyebrow at the pale-faced man peering out the hatch.
"By what?"
"I... I don't know, sir. I don't... It looks like some kind of... beasts."
"Good," nodded the Baron, turning his attention back to the wall of the Chimera. "Even the damned wildlife hates the Xenos, Emperor be praised. Now stop bothering me unless it's something actually important."
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Well... that was unexpected.
With the Stealers completely surrounding the Riptide, I can't do much at all.
So, I do the next best thing:
RETURN TO THE SHADOWS!
Doing my best Batman impression, I wisk away all of the Genestealer Cult models back into reserve.
My opponent looks a big shocked.
I... kind of like this.
Oh, and the Officer of the Fleet gets the Ld roll and adds another -1 to the reserve roll for the Taudar next round...
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Picture Caption: Yeah, I gots to run to the store lads. BRB.
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Turn 2: Taudar
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The Chimera rocked as Scatter Lases flew across the battlefield. The Windriders nodded to each other in satisfaction as the Mon'keigh tank smoked and the humans inside cried out in pain.
As the Jetbikers pulled back, there was a flicker of Warp Energy as the Warp Spiders appeared from nothingness, releasing their deadly payload upon the Mon'keigh craft. The monofiliment filled the holes made by the lasers, and the Chimera ground to a halt, engines seizing and bursting aflame.
Exarch Garrius motioned to his Spiders, who again brushed against the Warp before appearing further away. Pathetic aliens. Who were they to challenge the might of the Eldar?
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Thanks to the massive reserve penalty, only one squad of Jetbikes and one band of Warp Spiders come in. Both take aim at the Vets' Chimera and wrecks it with very little effort. Both hop back into cover.
I take the last wounds off the Riptide as it goes down until a hail of mass rending attacks.
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Picture Caption: Hey! I almost made all my payments on that!
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Turn 3: Genestealers/IG
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"Sir! Sir!"
Tapping his hand against the wall of the tank, the Baron snarled in frustration.
"I swear Guardsman, if this is the Xenos again..."
"Yes... Yes, sir, they're back!"
"How many this time?"
"I... I don't know, sir. At least five."
The Baron shook his head. "Five, now. Tell Saigo to get going and take care of them."
"Yes, sir, but... But, Lady Saigo's Chimera is on fire, sir!"
"Fah. Women drivers," scowled the Baron, "Never should have given them the option in the first place. Does she have any idea how much these things cost?"
"But, but..."
"Now tell her to take care of things before the locals notice. Can't have them go thinking we're not taking these matters seriously."
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Ra'Oh and the Stealers go BACK TO THE SHADOWS (swish!).
And... well, as we have a bonus on our side, almost everyone comes in.
I surround the Eldar, but only the Magus' squad of Neophytes get to charge.
The Baron's Master of Ordinance tries to drop a pie-plate on their head and hits ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Mass shooty goes out, ripping apart the Jetbikes with a modicum of effort, and then the Magus runs in on the Warp Spiders, who took a few casualties but had managed to ALMOST jump out of range. However, as my cultists have taken up pretty much all of the available space, there's not much room to go anywhere...
As they are within range of the Iconsward, they are S4, which is enough to chop apart almost all of the Spiders, but the Exarch hits and run out of there.
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Picture Caption: I'll be back. ... No, really this time.
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Turn 3: Taudar
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Farseer Illandra gasped in surprise.
What happened? This was not the way the Fates had decreed things would play out. The Wraithknight had fallen. The Tau had failed. And the Genestealers were running amok.
She would stand this no more.
Summoning her vast powers, she bent the Runes of Fate until they almost broke and then twisted the minds of the Mon'keigh until she and her fellows were all but invisible. Let them try to harm her. Eldar blood had been spilled and their loss would be repaid in kind.
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Only the Farseer and her bikes come in.
She comes in on the left and gets off Invisibility and Fortune.
Mass fire takes apart most of the Iconsward's squad, but I don't have much to worry as the ICs automatically pass their Look out sir rolls (that's a GREAT rule).
The Bikes glide into the forest and settle down.
The Exarch hunkers down out of sight.
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Picture Caption: The Forests will keep us safe!
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Turn 4: Genestealers/IG
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"Hey, Psyker, you want to see this?"
Primaris Psyker Natalia was still coughing and gagging behind the ruined Chimera. The Eldar had come out of nowhere and had destroyed the tank with hardly any effort. Then they had disappeared. What was going on?
She staggered out and squinted across the battlefield. There was... something out there. Shadowy figures were crowded around a patch of forest. Then, with lightning speed, the creatures leapt forward and inhuman screams filled the air punctuated with high-pitched yells.
"What... What are those things?"
"Dog-bears," smirked Lady Saigo, "Eldar should not hide in trees. Bears like trees."
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Oh, the Stealers come in.
Do they ever. I like to think they unconsciously come in a heart shape around the forest containing the Farseer.
The rest of the Cult goes back (yes) to the SHADOWS.
Ra'Oh and company then charge in, taking basically no wounds and then DEVOUR the bikes. Apparently, hitting only on 6's means little when you have over EIGHTY attacks.
The Farseer is the only one to survive, but does no wounds back and tries to run. However, you can't run TOO far against genestealers.
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Picture Caption: Surprise!
Picture Caption: NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
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Turn 4: Taudar
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The last of the Bikes come in and zoom in over to the left on my side of the board. The Warp Spiders drop in and take out the Baron's Chimera. They run-jump out of sight behind some ruins.
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Picture Caption: Urk, well, now I guess we'll all have to walk home...
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Turn 5: Genestealers/IG
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The Cults team up on both small squads, with Genestealers on the Spiders and well... pretty much everyone on the Jetbikes.
Mass shooty destroys the Jetbikes. The Spiders charge in and ALMOST take apart all the Spiders. The Exarch hits and runs out though.
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Picture Caption: CONSUME.
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Turn 5: Taudar
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Down to two models, my opponent tips his king.
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Result: Genestealers/IG VICTORY!
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Post-Game Thoughts: Wow. Just wow.
I can't believe how overpowering these guys are. Mobility means nothing if your opponent can literally be anywhere. Weapon range also means nothing. And assaulting from reserve is just... sick. I can't believe how dangerous rending is. I used to laugh at the rule as I had really only seen it on things like Assault Cannons, but wow, can Stealers just take EVERYTHING apart.
Well, let's do this the old-fashioned way:
1. The First Curse: Grade A
Patriarch and 20 Genestealers
Hell. yes. The Genestealers are amazingly powerful now sturdy with 5++ cover saves, stealth and four attacks on the charge. With the Patriarch, they all have furious charge and they are BEASTLY if buffed. Endurance made them monstrous. The very ability to Return to the Shadows meant that they could appear anywhere. Really good, if a bit pricey.
2. Magus: Grade B
Meh. He tried mind bullets, but not much was done. I also should have tried using more abilities, but it really wasn't needed.
3. Icon Insward: Grade A
I know he's just a banner bearer, but boy what the difference getting +1FNP and Furious charge is. Even the smallest of units can be deadly.
4. Acolytes: Grade B
Solid, cheap, and deadly. Can appear anywhere, harass anything and able to get anywhere out of reserve. Granted they are easily shot to shreds, but if you go MSU with them, the enemy only has SO many bullets.
5. Neophytes: Grade B
Guardsmen with different guns. BUT, with the ability to redeploy anytime, anywhere, they just become nasty. Cheap as chips and as you can refill your unit with 1d6 models, even having a few models left can make a difference! Seismic guns are cool too.
6. Hybrids: Grade B
Didn't get to do TOO much with them, but they were my backup anti-MC option if all else failed.
7. Genestealers: Grade B
Not in the Curse they're kind of mediocre. Good, but in small sizes, it's hard to justify the increased cost vs Acolytes.
8. The Baron: Grade B
Love the reserve shenanigans with the Officer, as it's a BIG difference to have reserves only pop in on a 5+. The Master of Ordinance was less stellar, but as my opponent tended to hug cover to avoid the First Curse ball o' doom, I can see him having his uses.
9. Natalia/Primaris Psyker: Grade B
More of a battery for the Patriarch, but still pretty decent. I suspect if the game was closer, she'd be as good.
10. Lady Saigo/Veterans: Grade B
They held the line.
Really like the Genestealers. Just wish the official models weren't so expensive. But, it does spark the many, many options for conversions. I can see Guardsmen and Ork models easily modeled up...
So, yes, Ra'Oh and crew will be back!
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Epilogue
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"Baron! Baron!"
Natalia ran over to the scowling Baron. Panting, she skidded to a stop.
"Did... did you see... Did you see what happened?"
"Of course," said the Baron, "Inconceivable."
"Yes, yes, exactly... I..."
"Apologize? Hmmph. I suppose I will accept."
"Apolo... What?"
"Destroying Imperial property. Gross Incompetence. Endangering local wildlife."
"No, no," waved Natalia, trying to regain her senses. "There's something... Something else..."
"Yes, yes," snarled the Baron, as he turned on his heel. "Whatever excuses you want to come up with, Psyker. Lucky for you the Xenos were more pathetic. Tell Saigo that if she and her crew fix up both tanks I will leave this out of my report. Emperor be praised my portrait was undamaged otherwise we would be having a very different conversation."
And before she could say more, Baron von Oberheim stalked away. It was good that he was here. Otherwise nothing of import would ever get done.
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"By the Tau'va, she's alive!"
Shas'vre Shi'ur muttered something as she was pulled free from the wreckage of her Riptide. She kept repeating the words as she was loaded onto the emergency shuttle. And didn't stop even after she was put under sedation. The Earth Caste tending to her didn't put much stock in her words likely borne from hallucination.
After all, what kind of Ethereal had four arms?
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