Sorry for the delay in reading this. Internet troubles.
So my first thought is that the "Naoki profile" and "Silent Dagger crunch" files are identical. Not a problem, I just thought I'd mention it in case you accidentally uploaded the wrong file.
Beyond that, I'm not seeing many differences between what you have written here and whatyou put in the other thread. It's nice to see you included some of the changes Narric and I suggested though. The main new thing I can see is the rules for Naoki, so I'm gonna focus on that.
My first thought is that he might be a little undercosted. He costs slightly more than a basic Space Marine Captain or Chaplain, so here's what that 5pts is paying for:
- Lower Ws, but this is cancelled out by his higher Bs
- Worse armour save, but with Stealth, Shrouded and Stalker armour he's still got a 3+ save in the open, 2+ in any kind of cover.
- Blind Grenades
- Infiltrate, Move Through Cover, Scout and Acute Senses.
- A fairly powerful sniper weapon. Even ignoring special ammo, he's pretty dangerous against monstrous creatures.
- A weaker version of a Lightning claw (actually arguably better than a lightning claw against 2+ armour saves, because of rending.)
- A weaker invulnerable save
An important rule when making house rules is that you should always make your units more expensive than necessary. Think of it as paying for the priviledge of actually using your rules.
Beyond that, I don't see any real problems with him. I do have one quick question though. He can take Hunting rounds for 35pts, and special ammo for 20pts. What is the special ammo? Is it the same as the ammo Sternguard veterans can use?