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The Dark Eldar Archives: Dark Eldar vs Custodes! (Part 2)

Started by BigToof, October 27, 2018, 11:06:39 AM

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BigToof

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Dark Eldar vs. Custodes/IG (1500, 5/18) in "The Golden Guard Returns!"
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Hi All,
This rep brings back one of my more recent mates who is piloting the Custodes again!
I think it's pretty much the same list, but with a change-out of the IG relic for a sweet Custodes relic bike and plasma guns instead of flamers.  But, I'm not running the tough-as-nails Eldar this time.
This time it's the glass hammer of the Dark Eldar.
And I'm... not as optimized as I could be.
As my last game felt a bit too... one-sided, I decided to go with some Wych cult action.
Reavers are supposed to be the new rule of cool, so I threw them in with a Succubus and a side order of Wyches.

Did it work out?
Was it too weak-sauce?

Read on and see!

Best,
-BT
P.S.  Fluff is here too!  Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated!

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The Lists
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Dark Eldar 1500: 43 Infantry, 3 MCs, 5 Vehicles; 8 CPs
Black Heart Battalion
-Archon w/Huskblade, Blaster
-Archon w/Venom Blade, Blaster
-Warriorsx5 w/Blaster
-Warriorsx5 w/Blaster
-Warriorsx5 w/Blaster
-Raider w/DCannon
-Raider w/DCannon
-Raider w/DCannon
-Ravager w/DCannonsx3
-Ravager w/DCannonsx3
Cult of the Red Grief Patrol
-Succubus
-Wychesx8 w/Shardnet
-Reaversx6
Prophets of Flesh Patrol
-Haemonculus
-Wracksx10
-Talosx3 w/Chain Flail, Macro-Scapel, Haywire Blastersx6
Artifacts of Cruelty: Writ of the Living Muse, Blood Glaive, Vexator Mask
Warlord: Labrynthine Cunning, Hyper-Swift Reflexes, Diabolical Soothsayer
Drugs: Succubus +1S, Wyches +1A, Reavers +1T

The Golden Guard 1500: 42 Infantry, 1 Vehicle; 9 CPs
Custodes Outriders
-Shield-Captain on Aquila Jetbike (Relic), Salvo Launcher
-Vertus Praetorsx3 w/Hurricaine Bolter, Misericordia
-Vertus Praetorsx3 w/Hurricaine Bolter, Misericordia
-Vertus Praetorsx3 w/Hurricaine Bolter, Misericordia
Cadian Battalion
-Company Commander
-Lord Commissar
-Tank Commander w/Battle Cannon, Lascannon
-Primaris Psyker w/Force Staff, Psychic Barrier
-Infantry Squad w/Plasmagun, Mortar
-Infantry Squad w/Plasmagun, Mortar
-Infantry Squad w/Plasmagun, Mortar
Warlord: CC: Grand Strategist

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Chapter 16: Darling in the Webway
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Ex-Farseer/Dracon Thielbane of the Kabal of the Bloody Hand pressed by another group of Drukhari Warriors.  The Warriors, all relatively young, looked at him with a look of disdain.  This was somewhat understandable, as he wasn't wearing his usual Dracon garb, finding the inner pain-barbs to be not to the liking of most reasonable Eldar.  However, this did mean that navigating the growing crowds was becoming more and more difficult.  He wasn't sure of it was Archon Y'stral's recent alliance with the Kabal of the Black Heart had done it, or if it was just some kind of Commeraugh event, but the ranks of the Drukhari had swollen rather significantly.

For Thielbane, it was a surprise seeing so many new faces, given that the Eldar were supposed to be dying race.  Of course, he had to admit, that was the Craftworld variety.  There were whispered rumours that the denizens of the Dark City had ways to churn out mass-produced Aeldari in near mind-numbing numbers, but he had never put much stock to it all.

Whatever the cause of it all, there were now more Dark Eldar in one place than he had seen.  Perhaps ever.  Although, his days as a Corsair Prince were probably close.  He shrugged to himself.  But, that was a different person.  Customary to the Paths of the Craftworld, Thielbane had shed his old life before walking the Path of the Seer and thus had left his past deeds (and misdeeds) behind him.  It was like the old skin of a Warp Spider, things lost to the passing of time.

Finally having made his way to Y'stral antechamber, Thielbane took a moment to readjust his Biel-tan robes.  There were supposed to be the leaders of a potential ally faction that were coming to meet them, and first impressions, as always, were very important.

With a gesture, the spiked-iris door opened with a hiss, and inside a small cadre of scantily-clad Drukhari stood, turning to face him with blades at their hips. 

Wyches? 

This was unexpected.  Y'stral had a way of putting off the more delicately-nuanced Arena fighters with his less-than-subtle antics.  Bowing with respect, he was almost caught off guard when the pointy-armored Y'stral walked out of their midst, cackling near-manically.  The Archon was his usual self, that to mean equal parts blood-thirsty monster and conniving madman.

"Thiel!" the Archon crowed, clasping him rather uncomfortably on the shoulder.  "Glad you could make it.  Ladies, this is Captain Thielbane.  My Dracon.  Like I said."

Thielbane nodded to the assembled crew of Wyches, who looked him up and down with a look that a butcher gave to a rather exquisite piece of meat.  But, they parted when an elegant figure wielding an enormous Glaive strode forward.  Like the other Wyches, she was scant of clothing, showing off enough ivory skin to make certain parts of Thiel's anatomy spring to attention in a rather undiplomatic way.  However, unlike the others, she had an elegant whirl of body-paint that started on her blade arm and worked it's way up to her face, which was rather surprisingy soft with none of the harsh edges and glares that he had come to expect from the leaders of the Wych cults.  And she clearly was high up in the ranks with a number of odds and ends draped about her that were clearly trophies from assumably rather nasty opponents.

Before he could say anything, there was a blur of motion and the lead Wych was suddenly very close with the edge of her gigantic blade against his throat.  He glanced over at Y'stral and saw that he was similarily surrounded by the other Wyches, who had their blades drawn and settled against varying parts of his anatomy.  And much to Thielbane's irritation, the Archon seemed to be enjoying every moment of it.

Thielbane looked down at the Wych, who looked up at him with a sudden fury and said in soft, velvet tones, "Whoever you are imposter, know that you will die by my hand for daring to call yourself by the name of the greatest Aeldari the universe has ever known."

He blinked.  Something about her voice, her face.  Memories that were long since buried came back to life and a name popped up into his head.  "Val?  Is... Is that you?"

The Wych took a step back and Thielbance let a breath go that he didn't know he was keeping in.  "Thiel...," whispered the girl, "C...  Captain?"

Thielbane nodded, rubbing the back of his head in embarressment, "Uh, hi.  Val.  Yeah, it's... it's... been a while."

The Wych's mouth dropped open and Thielbane both saw and felt a panaply of emotions cross over her face.  "How?  It's... impossible.  You died.  You were..."

Trying to inject, Thiel gestured pointedly and said, "Can we... talk about this somewhere else?"

Still, the Drukhair continued as if in a waking dream, her eyes unfocussed as if seeing something else far away.  "We all saw the explosion.  There wasn't even enough left for the Haemonculi to try and resurrect.  I... don't... understand..."

Nodding, Thielbane said, "Yeah... about... that...  I mean there's a reasonable explaination about..."

Suddenly, she whipped her head up and forcefully cut him off, "I don't care."

It was Thiel's turn to be more than a bit confused.  "W... What?"

"I'm just... happy you're alive."

Then, with surprising speed yet again, the Wych was next to him, holding him in an embrace that was shocking to everyone else in the room.  Especially Thielbane. 

It was such a foreign gesture amongst the Drukhari.  To leave yourself open to attack in so many ways, especially by someone who was so clearly a veteran of the Arena, was just... unfathomable.

Taking a moment to let it all sink in, Theilbane ventured to say,  "I... Thanks.  Val.  I...  I didn't..."

Looking up at him with a look of unbridled joy, she replied , "It's ok.  You're back.  We're back.  It's... all perfect now."

Y'stral coughed, drawing everyone's attention to the Archon who was still surrounded by a forest of drawn blades.  "AHEM.  Are you two done?  There's a lot of Mon-Keigh who aren't going to be killing themselves you know."

Thielbane nodded and said, "Uh, right.  Sorry."

The Wych let him go and Thielbane noticed that she blushed when he caught her eye and she looked away. 

Vallaria.  She hadn't changed.

Or rather.  She had.  A lot.  His memories were still rather foggy.  He had been lucky to get a name.

Y'stral sighed and said, "Right, so Thiel, you know the Succubus.  That means we're good to go, right?"

Thielbane looked rather surpised at Vallaria, who smiled and nodded.  Someone had gone up in the world.

The Archon continued, "So, now that we're not into stabbing each other, as fun as that might be, I've got some sweet, sweet extra-prime Mon-Keigh that need harvesting.  All we have to do is pick them up."

Thielbane frowned.  That sounded far too easy.  What wrinkle was...

There was a hiss of the door opening again, and the end of what sounded like a babble of words came through.  And Thielbane was a bit surprised to see Bella and Starsparkle.  Bella was her usual self, reading her book and not paying attention to anything in the slightest, especially not the overly animated figure next to her.  Done up to the nines with dyed hair and glittery sparkles covering nearly the entirety of her body was Starsparkle, the youngest of the Drukhari and one of the most skilled Reaver Arena Champion Thiel had ever met.  Although, he had to admit that it had been some time since he had seen her.

"Bella.  Star," said Thielbane in greeting.  "We have... a guest...  This is..."

"Oh, right!" Starsparkle said, "I'm supposed to be doing introductions.  This Succubus Vallaria of the Cult of the Red Grief.  The Mistress of Madness.  Sorry I'm late.  I just had to find Bella.  Oh, hey!  You're still alive, Captain!  That's great!  I thought we were going to kill you."

Thielbane felt his blood freeze again, but before he could speak, Vallaria was in front of him, smiling a familiar nervous grin.

"No, no darling, that's not it.  I just thought someone was using your name, and I was coming to... rectify that situation.  That's it."

Thielbane swallowed, nodded and said, "Well, I'm... glad then... about... that."

Star continued, "Yeah, I mean, who'd have thunk it that after I got sold off to the Cult of the Red Grief that I'd be back here so soon."

At the word, "sold," Thielbane whirled his head back to glare at Y'stral, who just shrugged.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Thiel.  She wasn't doing much and it's a real pain to keep Wyches and their ilk on the payroll now-a-days.  Just doesn't fit in with the look of it all.  Can't have all spikey Kabals and one Wych wandering around.  Doesn't look good.  We got a good price for her, don't worry."

As he was about to say something, there was a blur, and once again, Vallaria was in his face, smiling again.  "And it was a good thing that she came to my cult too.  Otherwise we would never have met each other again.  By the Muses...  I think...  I think this is fate."

"Uh, yeah," said Starsparkle edging her way to the nearby Wyches who were still stunned.  "This is... completely normal.  Umm... Hey, are we... going on a raid then?"

Thiel again tried to find his words, but this time it was Archon Y'stral who appeared between Thielbane and the Succubus.  Throwing his arms around both of them, he drew them together and Thielbane felt some familiar soft curves press up against him.  Vallaria blushed again, and Thielbane felt more faint memories churn in the backseat of his brain.

"Absolutely," said the Archon, "I mean, we've gotta celebrate this day, right?  The Muses and stuff.  Let's get our kill on.  The Mon-Keigh won't know what hit them."

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"This tea is rather wonderful."

There was a slight clatter of porcelein as the enormous figure of Shield-Captain Cogliostro of the Adeptus Custodes carefully put down the delicately decorated cup.  Dwarfed by the super-human was Commander Argus McClintock of the Cadian 758th.  The bearded man nodded with as much politeness as he could muster, his cybernetic eye humming in the dim light of the officer's tent.
"So, now that the pleasentries are done," said the Commadner in a grizzled tone, "I take it now's the time for you to lay it on us what you and your golden boys are doing out here?"

Cogliostro nodded rather excitedly and said, "Oh, yes, quite.  We're getting vengeance for our fallen brethren.  Both you know, Custodes and Militarum.  I was in a tussle with some Eldar that went... badly really.  Bit of a shame, that.  Fell into a bout of sad-sack myself until I was told that we could have a second round with the Xenos.  Rather nice of the Emperor to allow that."

There was a clatter of silverware, and Cogliotstro saw that the Commander had nearly dropped his cup.

"The... The Emperor?" whispered McClintock, "The... Emperor himself sent you?"

Tapping his finger against his chin in thought, Cogliostro said, "Well, I suppose that's a rather technical turn of the phrase really.  Rather complicated.  More to say that we're here in the service of the Emperor whose decision tree was sorted through a number of Adeptus Administrum departments.  But still... kind of through the Emperor."

"Oh," said the Commander, who just felt an entire conversation fly over his head with the speed and distance of a Valkyrie on full-burn.  "So... what you're saying is that you're here to Purge the Alien and you want our help."

"Quite," said the Shield-Captain, "Jolly good that you understand that so well.  Very impressed with you and your men."

McClintock nodded and said, "Not to... question anything, sir, but... you do realize that we're at the end of a major engagement ourselves and our number are... less than substancial."

Cogliostro said excitedly, "Oh, yes, but don't fault that to yourselves.  That sort of thing just happens.  We just need some escorts to make sure that those dastardly Xenos don't get away."

The Commander rubbed his chin and said, "Well, I... suppose we can act to pick off the stragglers.  How large of a force are you expecting?"

Humming in thought, Cogliostro replied, "Well, the last time I saw them it was just two tanks and a handful or three of them.  Not much to deal with.  And according to this intelligence report there's sighting of them not that far away.  With any luck, they should come right to us."

Frowning, McClintock could only nod.  It sounded far too easy.  Hopefully the Administratum had actually done their job this time instead of the usual half-made haberdashery that came out of the so-called "intelligence" operations.  All he could do now was hope.  For whatever tha was worth in the 41st millineum.

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Pre-Game Thoughts: Well, looking at the lists, I can say this is going to be a tough fight.  Those Custodes are worth their weight in literal gold and are each monstrous to take down.  Four wounds each with a 2+/4++ save means I'm going to have to work overtime to kill even one squad.  I'd love to use Blasters on them, but with their 14" move that means that if I fail to do the job, they'll be all over me.
Bella and her friends may be some decent speed-bumpbs, but with their 2+WS, I think the Custodes will either outmaneuver or outfight them.  I can easily see them geting run around and then shot or stabbed to bits.
And speaking of stabbing, I have my very, very untested tiny Wych patrol with a Blood Glaive Succubus and a group of Reavers and Wyches who will hit with all the fury and impact of wet packing foam against the Golden Giants.

So, my plan?  Hope that the game will let me run around and pray for good rolls.  I suspect this may not go well for the Dark Ones.

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Mission: Tactical Escalation (Draw up to round #, Prioritize one type; both took Take and Hold (Secure))
Setup: Search and Destroy (Diagonal w/18" circle)


Setup-Sneak Peek

Picture Caption: Right.  You stay on your side and I'll stay on mine!

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Setup:
Well, this is going to be interesting.  We decided to go for a terrain heavy board with a big line of sight blocking tower in the middle with two ruins to either side. Craters and trees were scattered about, giving hope of cover, but fairly sparse.
My opponent won the roll to put down first and chose the quarter that had slightly better firing lanes.  He put down the Custodes and Shield-Captain in the front, then strung out his Infantry Squads with one squad in the rear with the Russ and Characters.

I held back a bit, putting the Taloi in the front, Bella and the Wracks behind them and then my boats behind that.  I put two units of Warriors in one Raider, Thiel with the Writ and one Warrior squad in the middle Raider and Y'stral, the Succubus and the Wyches in the last one.  The Ravagers went behind everything.  The Reavers went to the left flank, hugging a line of sight blocking building.

My opponent won the roll to go first and took it!  I failed to seize and the game was on.


Picture Caption: Huh, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that those bikes are so close...

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BigToof Points:

Cammerz: 8
Waaaghpower: 1
The Man They Call Jayne: 3
Mabbz: 6
Archon Sharrek: 3

BigToof

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Interlude
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Commander McClintock checked his scouting reports and frowned again.  Military intelligence indeed.

Looking up at the massive figure of Shield-Captain Cogliostro, he coughed with as minimal politeness as possible.

The gigantic gilded figure peered downward, his tassle flowing in the wind.
"Oh, hello Commander.  I think we're in luck.  That does look like Eldar down there."

McClintock felt a tremble roll over his sturdy frame, but kept it in as best he could.  "Two tanks, you said, sir.  Two."

Cogliostro peered around the enormous ruins in front of them, trying his best to reconoiter the darkly coloured vessels that popped in and out of sight.

"Well...  Maybe they're just playing around, trying to use trickery to pad their numbers."

"Our scouts are reporting five sizable Xenos vehicles, three enormous monsters and a smattering of infantry."

Cogliostro nodded in affirmation, "Well, I suppose they went off and found friends as well.  Don't worry, Commander, the matter is well in hand.  We'll do a... pinching... maneuvering...  You know, the one where we fly around to the sides?"

"Pincer movement?"

"Right, so that way they'll have little chance of getting away."

McClintock's fown deepened, "And what's to say they won't do the same to us?"

Cogliostro turned his head up in thought, "Well, I... suppose they could, but they're rather patient-looking over there.  Probably waiting for us to act first in some kind of tactical... whatever.  But not to worry, the might of Custodes will act as a hammer blow that will shatter their plans...  Whatever they are."
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X'Bella Le'Gosi floated quietly behind her Taloi, who were arranged carefully for the arrival of more guests.  The Archon had told her that specifically a party of very important individuals would be arriving soon and that she would be the first to welcome them.  The Taloi were given the proper accessories, namely friendly banners, sparkling decorative material and hopefully Mon-Keigh edible consumables.  Indeed, everything seemed well in place.  There was some talking going on as she checked her charges, but whatever it was, the Archon seemed rather pleased with the situation.

"Y'stral, are those... Custodes?"

The strained words came from Dracon (Ex-Farseer) Thielbane, who tried not to let the terror of the small armada of golden giants come over him.

Archon Y'stral let go with a cackling laugh and said, "Oh, yes, Thiel, yes they are.  We hit the jackpot, baby.  Now all we have to do is knock them off their little bikes and bring them back for an amazing trade-in."

Thielbane paused and then replied, "You... are aware that they are supposedly made from the genetic material from their Emperor?"

Y'stral shrugged and said, "So what if they're shinier than usual, doesn't change anything.  They stay away, we blast 'em, and if they get in close then we'll see how good those Wyches of yours really are."

Frowning, Thielbane responded, "I wouldn't call them 'mine,' Y'stral, they're here of their own volition.

The Archon rolled his eyes and sid with dripping sarcasm, "Yeah, sure, Thiel.  Have you even looked at their boat lately?"

Thielbane turned, and swallowed when he saw all of the Wyches staring at him almost unblinking.  There was a palpable hunger in their eyes and it took him more than a moment to look away.

And, of course, that was when the Custodes charged.

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Turn 1: Custodes
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Commander McClintock roared out the order to fire.  The mortar teams loaded with rigid, mechanical professionalism, and with some satisfaction, McClintock saw the explosives hit home.

But, any sense of pride was short lived, as when the moke cleared, the Xenos still stood unflinching.  In fact, one of the monsters rose up, and held up... what seemed to be a tray of sweets... This was going to be harder than he thought.

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Objectives:
Defend 6

Well, my opponent gets a not too hard to get objective and uses Move, Move, Move to get an Infantry squad moving up towards the sixth marker.  The Custodes all move forwards, getting within shooting range.  The rest of the IG sit still, either in range already with their mortars or out of LoS for the Russ.

The remaining order goes on one of the mortars, but it doesn't help too much, as they just can't seem to wound the Wracks.

The rest of the shooting is fairly straightforward with the Custodes trying out hitting the Wracks first.  A squad of three bikers at long range fire their hurricaine bolters, but the combination of subpar wounds, a solid 4++/FNP save and a bit of dastardly Dark Eldar luck ends up with only one Wrack biting the dust. 
After some thought, the rest of the bolters go into the Raider holding Thielbane (with the Writ), but only a few wounds are done.

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Turn 1: Dark Eldar
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"Thiel!  Thiel!"

Thielbane poked his head out from his Raider.  The roar of bolter fire had been almost defeaning as a veritable armada's worth of firepower had laid into his ship.  Luckily, the Night Shields had held long enough for the primitive shelling to start.  While not extraordinarily dangerous, the fusillade seemed to go on for quite some time before finally stopping.  Perhaps Y'stral had decided upon the sensible action of not running right into a potential trap.

But, much to his dismay, Thielbane saw Y'stral gesturing to the Writ of the Living Muse at his waist, a gift supposedly from Supreme Leader Vect himself.

"Thiel, get out there and hold up the rock of 'Screw up and I'll eat your kidneys.'  The rest of you, open fire!"

Thielbane barely had time to roll out of the Raider before Disintegrator Cannons roared to life and darklight tore into one of the gilded bikers.  The enormous Mon-Keigh seemed to shrug the shots off at first, a combination of their heavy armor and shields keeping them mostly safe, but the weathering storm took it's toll and the giants fell one at a time, lying still on the ground.

A cackling roar came up from the Kabal around him.

Perhaps victory was not as far-fetched as it seemed?
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Objectives:
Defend 6

What?  Seriously?  Well, I'm too far for that objective, but I've got more immediate concerns.  Namely, the horde of bikers coming up on my grill.  So I pull back, dropping Thiel out to give everyone re-roll 1's to everything and lay into the closest trio of bikers.  Dissie Cannons show their stuff and with some better than average rolling, they claim the lives of all the bikers for FIRST BLOOD!


Picture Caption: Hold back and fire!


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Turn 2: Custodes
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"Cogliostro, you idiot, we're getting torn to pieces!"

Shield-Captain Cogliostro looked over at his fellow Custiodian mere moments before the near-unending volley of Xenos weaponry tore the Jetbike out from under the poor fellow and sent him crashing to the earth.  Things were looking not so great.

"Hmm...  Alright everyone, let's try a charge.  Be quick now."

Grumbling a bit at the lackadaisical order, the Custodes nonetheless readied their lances and charged in.  The enormous warriors shrugged off the patter of incoming fire, but paused when a golden light emerged from the Xenos in front of them.  A massive man, wreathed in a halo of pure energy stood in front of them, and the charge faultered, the confused men pulling up their lances at the last moment.
The Emperor himself?  Somehow restored to his full glory?  How was it...

But, little time was left for thought as the enormous Taloi charged in, their enormous Macro-Scapels slicing with precision strikes, tearing into the flummoxed Custodes.

X'Bella Le'Gosi took careful notes of the Mon-Keigh's reaction to the Vexetor Mask.  Not only was it a sufficient facial transplant, but the mask of the Shadowseer had a rather notable effect upon the subjects in question.  Clearly more study was to be done, she thought as viscera and chunks of armored sailed through the air.
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Objectives:
Defend 6
Secure 5

I start the turn by telling my opponent that I'm using Architects of Pain on the Taloi, so that they now will hit on 2+ (yay!), hopefully acting as a deterrent for charges.

My opponent gets Secure Objective 5 which is... right next the front line of his infantry.  So, that's 3 VPs for the guard pretty easy as another squad takes objective six without a fight.

The Custodes, seeing my retreat, move up to shoot and assault.
After asking what the stats for the Taloi are, he decides to try and soften them up with Hurricaine bolters.  But, even the mighty bolter doesn't do much and I only lose a few wounds on a Talos.  The rest of the shooting merits little note.
Then, onto the assault!  The furthest squad tries to asault the Talos, but fails it's long charge.  The much closer squad though, manages to charge in, and I hit them with the Vexetor Mask!  The Mask's special rule causes the Custodes to fight last, and the Taloi with their 2+ to hit WIPE OUT the entire jetbike squad!

VP: 3


Picture Caption: Vexetor Mask is awesome!

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Turn 2: Dark Eldar
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The shouting was bad enough, but the smell though, that was what started it.

Succubus Vallaria hadn't taken her eyes of Captain Thielbane.  She had to make sure he was real.  She had been wrong before, so many times.  But now, no, things were different.  He was here, but these creatures, these Mon-Keigh, they were trying to take him away.

She shook her head, trying to clear the darkness that was seeping in on the edges.  The Captain liked Craftworld girls.  Normal girls.  She couldn't be abnormal or he might leave.  She just had to smile.  Smile and be pretty.  But, the raw and grating hunger pulsed through her veins and the smell of blood filled her nostrils, tearing into the vast pit of emptiness that was her soul.  There, something sinister rose to the surface, a foreign sentience supplanted by an agreement long ago.  Cracks formed in the mask that she called a face and it began to pour out.  A small snicker escaped through her teeth and then it turned into a stifled laugh and then ripped out of her full-scale in a shaking cackle.  She glanced at the Blood Glaive that pulsed with a visceral energy.  It needed to be fed.  It demanded to be gorged.  And she would give it what it... no, what they... needed.

----------------
Objectives:
Defend 6
Witch Hunter

Ignoring the still mostly pointless objectives, I move up everyone for the kill.  I get the Succubus out and everyone moves over to put the hurt on the surprised Custodes.

Bella uses Fleshcraft on the Talos to heal it up to full.

Shooting has mass darklight (now with blasters) tear apart the last biker squad. 
In assault, the Taloi absorb overwatch.  The Succubus dances into the combat as well.  The big monsters mostly kill the Custodes leader, but it is the Succubus that finishes off Shield-Captain.


Picture Caption: And now it's down the Guardsmen...

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Turn 3: Custodes
--------------------

"Commander, this is Cogliostro.  I'm in a bit of a pickle.  There was this laughing girl with a very large spear and I'm afraid that I won't be having voluntary movment of my limbs for a little while.  My sincerest apologies, old chap."

McClintock swore as his comm-bead finished the recording.  Shouts brought his attention to the front as a shadowy fleet of dark-masted ships rounded the corner and began to billow into the alleyway.  Blasts of obisian energy tore into the Guardsmen in front of him, turning them into charred ash that billowed out in a foul tempest.

Things were looked bad indeed.

-----------------------
Objectives:
Behind Enemy Lines
Defend 4
Supremecy

My opponent draws his new objectives and sadly, none of them are very achievable.  With a slight sense of doom after watching the Custodes do their impression of the Charge of the Light Brigade, the IG remusters their lines.  Shooting does very little as the Mortars are still the only thing in LoS.

VP: 3

Picture Caption: Reform, reform the lines now!

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Turn 3: Dark Eldar
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Objectives:
Discard Defend 6
Witch Hunter
Psychological Warfare
Behind Enemy Lines

I throw Thiel and the Succubus back in their Raiders and begin Operation DESTROY ALL INFANTRY. My Mass Darklight moves up to the right while the Taloi and Bella with her Wracks move to the left, flanked by the Reavers.
The Taloi cut down a few Guardsmen with their Haywire blasters and use Fire and Fade to get even closer.
A rain of Disintegrator fire does what it says on the tin and in the end, there's very little of the front line left.

VP: 1

Picture Caption: You know... massive Dissie Cannons work well on Guardsmen too!

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Turn 4: Custodes
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Objectives:
Discard Supremacy
Behind Enemy Lines
Defend 4
Defend 1
Secure 3

Wow, my opponent still can't get any points.  The remaining Guardsmen rally and try to pull back to protect the Commander, who runs to the rear of the Russ.
Fire goes on the Reavers, but I use Lightning Reflexes to keep most of the shots off them.

VP:3

Picture Caption: The Imperium is running low...

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Turn 4: Dark Eldar
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Objectives:
Witch Hunter
Psychological Warfare
Secure 6
Secure 3

Time to earn some points.  Everyone moves up.  The Darklight farm sits on objective three, while the Wracks move onto objective 6.  Mass fire has the Infantry almost wiped out, save for a few that run away.  The Reavers fly over and tear apart the Commander.  The Psyker is also destroyed, and the Reavers and Taloi consolidate into the Russ.

With basically only a locked-up tank on the field, my opponent concedes.

VP: 5

Picture Caption: And that's all she wrote!


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Result: DARK ELDAR VICTORY
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Post-Game Thoughts:
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Wow, that was rough.  My opponent wasn't aware of what the Vexetor Mask could do, and I wasn't aware that it would be that epic.  Being able to let the Taloi hit first basically doomed the Custodes, who were relying on locking me up so that I couldn't maneuver into prime Darklight range.  Truly amazing piece of gear.

I really am liking the Covens and Kabals so far.  The Covens are hard enough that they can repel early charges and are pretty fast with the right Strategems and can just mince anything they run into.  I'm actually surprised with the big Wrack squad, but they are so hard to down with standard S4 fire, they're a nice fire magnet that doesn't give up First Blood that easy.  As their squad is tougher than a Raider, that's no mean feat given that they're less than a hundred points.  Granted, they have no guns and aren't that fast, but if you want something sturdy and cheap, you can't go that wrong.  The Succubus was nice to have, but I wasn't sold on the Wyches and Reavers.  Granted, they didn't get to do that much, but I didn't really have anything meaningful for them to do.  Perhaps I should give them another shot or just focus on my Covens and Kabals?

As for my opponent, he came off just shocked as to how tough the Dark Eldar were, as he was just expecting us to fall over in a light breeze with the Custodes running rampant over everything.  And that might be true IF I didn't take Coven and the Mask.  Given the increasing popularity of the Custodes, I think keeping a solid Coven component is very useful in future lists.  Plus, you know, Bella's fun to write :)

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Epilogue
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X'Bella Le'gosi continued her notes on the battlefield.  Things were rather interesting indeed.  Although projected to be genetically and technologically superior than their Astartes subspecies, the Custodes did not prove to be the exponentially deadly creatures of legend.  The Archon, though, seemed pleased by the course of events.  Captain Thielbane, though, appeared less emotional regarding the battle.

She watched Thielbane, who paced the length of his Raider, trying to keep the rolling mass of emotions inside him.  What was going on?  The battle was straightforward enough, but something had happened to Vallaria.  The sweet, innocent looking girl had turned into a cackling monstrosity, grinning from ear to ear as she tore into the Custodes leader with reckless abandon.  And clearly, from the near orgasmic looks of satisfaction by the other Wyches, this was not out of the ordinary.

He glanced back at Vallaria, who was still staring at him with wide-eyed abandon, and a less dangerous looking smile was on her face.  But, Thiel had seen something monstrous within and that had brought back a small field of memories.
Val was always dangerous. 

And she and her gaggle of Wyches were walking towards him with quicksilver speed.  Before he could act, his Raider was surrounded and there was a flicker in his blind spot.  Thiel felt something grip his sides, and there was Val again, hugging him and looking up with tears in her eyes.  Nodding to herself she said, "You... you are real.  You didn't go away after the battle.  You didn't go away.  You didn't."

Thielbane nodded, but it didn't stop Vallaria, who half-sputtered out, "After I...  we lost you, there was just this void...  I left.  I went back to the arena.  But, it wasn't the same.  I just killed and killed and killed, but nothing really filled me back up.  The cheers, the bloodshed, the backstabbing.  It was just... window dressing.  I... found something that offered me... it... it gave me a semblance of life.  Of feeling.  And that was... bearable.  Until now.  Now, you're back.  And we can do great wonders again.  We can carve a bloody swath from one end of the galaxy to the other and make our enemies weep at the mention of our names.  All who come before us will fall to their knees and beg for mercy...  Doesn't that sound great?"

The Ex-Farseer opened and closed his mouth a few times, but thankfully he heard a familiar shout from below.

"Hey, Wych-pits!  I need to talk to my Dracon!  Back up before you get your stink all over him!"

Thielbane saw Val's eyes widen and her hand go to her Glaive, but there was a familiar sound of Splinter Rifles hissing and he saw the assembled Kabal below, guns drawn, waiting for an excuse.

Trying not to look at her directly, Thielbane felt the Succubus tense, nearly cracking his armor, and then slowly relax, a familiar slow smile creep over her face.

"Alright.  You can talk to him.  After all, he's not going anywhere.  He's staying."

The Wyches leapt off the Raider with acrobatic precision and Thielbane let the breath go that he was holding for far too long.

There was some swearing as Archon Y'tral climbed up the Raider and slumped down next to Thiel, "Man, Wyches.  Can't live with 'em.  Can't get great ratings without 'em."

Thielbane nodded woodenly.

The Archon rolled his eyes in response, sighed and said, "So, what's up with you and crazy-face over there?"

Tapping his lip in thought for a moment, Thielbane pondered the wisdom of opening up one's sort-of-hidden past to a known sociopathic maniac, and then said in a low voice, "I met Val during my... bad phase.  I had just left the Craftworld after some... disagreements with the Council.  It lead to a lot of... anger issues.  And Val...  Well, she wanted to kill me at first.  Came looking for my head during a Realspace Raid and I... uh... convinced her to give up a middling life of a Hekatrix to join my crew.  She was... really... motivated.  Deadliest thing with a blade I've ever seen.  She loved it.  And me.  Perhaps too much.  So I... took measures to make sure when I made my clean break back to the Craftworlds she wouldn't... have reason to follow me.  Yes it was... kind of underhanded.  But, necessary.  Really."

Y'stral nodded, "Right, so she's your crazy girl.  Remember rule #1 Thiel: Don't bang the crazy.  That is, unless you plan on shooting her.  After or during.  Either's fine really."

Thielbane sighed, "Thanks Y'stral, I can always count on your sage advice."

The Archon laughed in response and said, "You know it Thiel.  After all, this is only the beginning."

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BigToof Points:

Cammerz: 8
Waaaghpower: 1
The Man They Call Jayne: 3
Mabbz: 6
Archon Sharrek: 3