TauDar vs. WAARGH! Grumgutz (NEW ORKZ) in "The Return of Big Louie" (1500, 6/29)

[BigToof]

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TauDar vs. WAARGH! Grumgutz (NEW ORKZ) in "The Return of Big Louie" (1500, 6/29)
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Hi All,
Man oh man am I excited!  First game in with Orkz!
But, there's a twist.  Everyone and their mates have gone green and have brought out their Orkz.

It's a sight to see really.

So, I was asked if I could bring down my Orkz and also a non-Ork list...
I found that one of my mates was building a 1500pt list, but was (gasp) short of Boyz!
Upon picking through my stack of somewhat worn models, he put together a servicable warband and at the head, he put...

WARBOSS BIGTOOF!

Which is to say that he used a Deffdread for his Mega-Armor Warboss.  He promised that he wouldn't use it for model advantage, so I let it go.

I asked him how "hard" of a list he wanted, and he specifically wanted a Tau-Dar list.  I had actually brought exactly that, so we had a match set and ready.

Fluff-wise it's Bang and Lorilune versus Warboss BigToof and some friends.  Glorious, simply glorious!  I was thinking about all the ways the lovebirds could be blowing up greenskins...

And then I saw his list.

It was... something.

FIFTEEN WARBIKERS, Mek Gunz, Battlewagon-riding 'Ard Boyz and lots of Boyz and Lootas.

This was going to be a fight.

Best,
-BT

P.S.  Critiques and Comments are appreciated!

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The Lists
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The Tau-Eldar Alliance (1500pts): 55 Infantry, 2 MCs, 1 Vehicle; 3 WC, 10 VPs
Tau'n Defense Cadre
-Shas'O Sha'shiva (Shas'O w/Fusion Blastersx2, Irridium Armor, PChip, MSS, VRT, TL)
-Shas'vre Kor'va AKA "Bang" (Riptide w/Ion Accelerator, TL-Fusion Blaster, EWO)
-Krootx15 w/Kroothound
-Krootx10
-Broadsidesx2 w/TL-HYMPx2, VT
The Eldar Auxillaries
-Farseer Lorilune w/Jetbike, Spear, Stone, Rune of Warding, Rune of Witnessing
-Guardiansx20 w/Bright Lancesx2
-Dire Avengersx5 w/Wave Serpent w/Scatter Laser, Holofield
-Wraithknight

WAARGH! Grumgutz (1500): 86 Infantry, 1 Vehicle, 5 Artillery; 10 VPs
Warboss BigToof w/Mega-Armor, Lucky Stikk
Big Mek Wingnut w/KFF, Warbike
Painboss Dok Kutta, Warbike
'Ard Boyzx18 w/PK Nob
Shootasx25 w/Nob
Grotsx15 w/Runtherd
Warbikersx15 w/PK Nob, Bosspole
Mek Gunzx5 (Kustom Mega-Kannonzx3, Traktor Beamzx2, Ammo Runtsx5)
Battlewagon w/Ram, Big Shoota, Boarding Plank
Lootasx10 w/Mek
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Chapter Seven: All Good Things...
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The world seemed to spin around her as she forced her eyes to come into focus.  She was holding him again.  Why was it so hard to remember his name?  Shas'vre Kor'va.  Bang.  Her love.  Bloodied and broken.

"My fault..." she heard her own voice whisper, "It's all my fault..."

Then everything faded out...

The next thing she knew she was sitting up in bed.  A dream.  A nightmare.

She staggered over to her mirror and flicked the control on the soft, mechanical light.  She looked like the Warp boiled over.  And she almost felt as bad.

Farseer Lorilune of the Craftworld Saim-Hann slumped against the wall, her face pale and sweat still streaming down her chest and back.  They were getting worse.  More frequent and in more detail.

Which only meant that it was getting closer.  Tugging her thin nightshirt closer, she walked over to the window and threw it open.  The soft light of the twin moons glowed down from the night's sky and she peered around for a sign of something wrong, some kind of tangible hint that the catastrophe was drawing near.  But, once again, there was nothing.

She wished she could tell Bang, but the situation was far different than when they first moved to Sha'run'al, a small planet recently acquired on the edge of the Tau Empire's Third Expansion.  It seemed like such a short time ago when the Eldar and Tau were brethren, trusted friends.  But now things were different.  Her Craftworld, all Craftworlds actually, had withdrawn their support to the Tau and the Imperials.  None of the Council spoke openly about it, but Lorilune had felt their concern.  The End of Days was drawing near, and all of their strength would be needed to see the Eldar race through.  The lesser races would be left to fend for themselves.

"Lesser" races.  She shook her head.  So easy it was to fall back into the haughty demeanor that she had tried to keep at bay.  But, the Tau were if anything, diplomatic about the situation.  She wasn't forced off the planet, but it became clear that she and Bang could no longer be together.  She was secluded back to her original, separate quarters, in a section of the city far away from the Fire Caste.  Her missives were returned unopened, and her requests blatantly, but politely, ignored.  Even though she saw their doom approaching, she couldn't do anything about it.

That wasn't entirely true, she had to admit to herself.  She could do what any Farseer would do: Leave.  Take flight and let whatever skein of fate that saw to bring the Tau to bear fall on it's own.  But, things were complicated.  She had never admitted to Bang her own feelings, and it was hard to even consider them wholeheartedly for even a moment.  The other Eldar stationed with her as bodyguards considered her mad.  Maybe she was.  Isn't that what they said love did to you?

After all, what kind of sane person would stand in the way of destruction so easily avoided.  And for what?  A few more decades of happiness?  Maybe a century at most?  She had already lived ten times that, and the short lived Tau were like blinks of an eye to the life of an Eldar.

It was so, so silly.  So illogical.  But, she would die before she left.  She had to at least tell him.  To let him know.  To acknowledge what she had kept inside for so long.  But, there were secrets still that she had hidden away.  Things that even he was better off not knowing.

Stretching out her Farseer-given senses, Lorilune made sure that no one was monitoring her.  Closing the door, she tiptoed over to a spot in the floor and reached down to find a pair of familiar recesses.  Stretching out her psychic power, she activated the Wraithbone-laden compartment nestled under the floor.  With a furl of bluish energy, the hidden cache opened up and she reached inside.  A filthy ragged cloak and staff were inside, and Lorilune wrinkled her nose at the smell.  She put them aside and reached in deeper until her fingers felt something that was almost hidden under the dirt.

Bringing it out, she looked at it under the moonlight.  It was a collar.  A metallic collar laden with gold and Orkish script.

Originally it was nothing more than a harness for a slave.  But, fate had seen to that.  Lorilune the Grot, the less-than-nothing had brought herself up to stand by the side of Warlord Grumgutz Bitzgrabber himself.  To guide his WAARGH! for the good of the Saim-Hann Craftworld.  She had tapped into the power of the WAARGH! and it was so tantilizingly explosive.  Even though she hated it then, now, upon reflection, she had realized just how volatile and wondrous it was.  Blowing holes in walls, terrifying any who dared cross her.  A force of nature made flesh.  And it had a name that made all but the most powerful Orks quake in their boots:

Big Louie.

But, that was another life.  One that she had, for the good of all, put aside.  After all, the Orks were light-years away and there was no chance that...

And that was when Lorilune noticed that the collar was blinking.

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"'Oi!  Wingnut, we there yet?"

Big Mek Wingnut looked up from his latest contraption and know-wot.  He wasn't sure what it was yet, but it looked dead killy for sure.  It wasn't really a surprise who was asking the question, as he had been asking it about every hour since they had left.  And it was a LONG time ago.

Warboss BigToof waited expectantly inside the Mek's Hut of the Killkrooza "Gork's Other Fist" (Named so as Wingnut had forgotten that the Warlord himself was actually on the original Gork's Fist).  The enormous Warboss towered over the other Meks who barely came up to his waist.  He was once a Deffdread pilot, but through some kind of Gork (or maybe Mork) related happeneing he was now a Warboss.  A Warboss with a very important job.  He had to go get Big Louie, his best friend.

Louie had gone off with some Fish'Eads a while ago, and BigToof had missed his friend as soon as she was gone.  There was noone left to yell at him all the time.  It was practically quiet sometimes, and it made him want to cry.

So, he was pleased as punch when Grumgutz had told him and Wingnut to go get Louie and krump anyone who got in their way.  It was a good plan.  A sure-fire plan.  He just wasn't sure how they were going around to do it.  But, Wingnut did.  He just had to keep asking.

"Nope," replied Wingnut.  They weren't there yet, that was sure enough.  Louie was pretty smart, he had to give her that.  Wingnut was always a bit suspicious what with her not being an Ork and all, but nobody would say anything against Louie.  At least none that wanted all their bits intact. 

Wingnut was actually sort of glad that Louie was gone, as it was certainly safer, and it left him solidly in charge of being #2 in the whole operation.  But then, the Boss had gone off and decided that he needed Louie again.  Some kind of plan.  But, Wingnut wasn't in the need or the want to know.  Still, it must be important, as he was given this right big Krooza and plenty of Meks.  The long trip through the Warp was following the Grot-Seeker that Wingnut had built into Louie's collar, and it was just a matter of time before they popped out where they needed to go.

And in the meantime, there was plenty of scrap and bitz to build up all kinds of things.  Big Things.  Big Gunz.  Bigger Gunz.  Enough to cave in the face of a moon.  And with a little luck they'd be able to use them all soon...

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Pre-Game Thoughts: I must admit, I was more than a bit of confident going into this match.  The Orks' new Codex isn't anything OP by any means, and really, sort of a nerf for more than a few things.  The Eldar Tau Alliance, while taken some hits, is still pretty solid and although I haven't tried them yet in 7th, they should do well.

I think we're going to be trying Maelstrom Missions, but if I can just shoot the beans out of my opponent I should do fine.

I have better shooting and psychic powers, but he has better assault and mobility with a MASSIVE numbers advantage.
My aces for this game are probably going to be the Riptide and Wraithknight as they can tie up huge mobs of boyz with no ill effect and eventually run them down.

So it should be all set and done in a few turns, right?

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Setup: Vanguard Strike (Diagonal Setup), Night Fight OFF
Mission: Cleanse and Control (TOs equal to turn number)
Warlord:
-Shiva: Conqueror of Cities (Units have Stealth and MTC in Ruins)
-BigToof: Master of Ambush (Warlord and three non-vehicle units have infiltrate)
Psyker:
-Lorilune: Prescience, Eldrich Storm, Terrify
-Orkz: Nope!
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To Be Continued!
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[The Man They Call Jayne]

Well, I have no idea how 7th works, but I put my trust in the Greater Good anyday. Warrrgh Powers and clunky armour are no match for a good pulse rifle at your side.

[Mabbz]

I'm gonna go for the Tau victory too, albeit a minor one. Those greenskins cannot stand in the way of true love!

[Cammerz]

Well then, this is looking to be an epic match-up, Big Louie was always my favourite character back in the day and to potentially see her standing once more besides Warlord Grumgutz is an exciting concept.

I've yet to take a look at 7th edition or the new Ork 'dex so I haven't got a clue what's what in some cases. I notice that the battlewagon is lacking a deff-rolla, are they gone now, or nerfed or what?
I'm assuming the painboss is a non-FOC HQ choice like Astra Techpriests and Primaris Psykers? I'm also liking the look of a bike-mounted KFF.

As for your list I recall 20 guardian mobs being very useful with the right magical enhancement so I hope we'll be seeing them mow down inordinate amounts of greenskin (because I'm putting my money on the Taudar for the poll question, as I said I have no idea about 7th edition so I'll say they win by at least double the number of points, yay optimism!)

Looking forward to reading loads more fluff, Lorilune and Bigtoof's reunion should be quite a spectacle.

[BigToof]

Thank you all for the kind comments!

I really appreciate your support, and don't worry, more will be incoming soon!

I hadn't read the entire Ork codex over well enough when I played this game, so there were some surprises!  Deffrolla is fairly well nerfed, with it's many hits only affecting units if they try and DoG you.  Still, it does offer a S9 hit on Ram, which the Reinforced Ram does also...  But, it's about half it's previous cost...

The Painboss isn't part of an IG/AM like HQ selection, but my opponent is using the Ork special FOC, which allows for 3 HQ choices if you run 3 Troop choices.  It also gives your units Hammer of Wrath if they assault 10" or more, but you lose objective secured.  (Fair trade-off I presume)

And, as to hopefully inspire more votes/comments, here is more fluff and a bi of deployment:

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Interlude: Starfall
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Ar'sha'is, also known as Highwind, was the nickname of the planetary defense station that orbited Sha'run'al.  Originally made as a spartan, austere piece of military hardware,  the station had slowly grown away from it's Fire Caste origins.  Where once only Fire Warriors stood at attention, closely monitoring for any signs of intrusion, now Earth Caste and Air Caste chatted briskly about their newest experiments and inventions.  This was mostly due to Sha'run'al having no intrinsic military value and also being far outside of the newly established trade routes.  The planet soon became a secluded site for philosophic exploration, mechanical experimentation, and the occasional military refurbishment.  The massive railguns on Ar'sha'is had never been fired in recent memory, and the artists and craftsmen had taken great pains to slowly turn even the mightiest of guns into works of art.  The largest depicted the founding of T'aun and the coming of the Ethereals.  It was a rare Tau that could see it and not be moved.  For this reason, perhaps, less than the optimum number of weapons crew were at the ready when the Warp opened up and vomited out the Ork Killkrooza "Gork's Other Fist."

Unlike the finely wraught station, the Orkish ship was a mish-mash of guns, engines, armor and more guns.  The front, however, was notable for having an enormous oblong ball of armor that, if looked at from the right angle, looked like a balled-up fist.
Noone, Ork or Tau, are really sure as to what happened immediately after first contact.  Perhaps one of the Tau gunners had managed an unlucky shot that locked the Krooza's engine velocity.  Or perhaps, and more likely, the Krooza's pilots simply saw something good to ram into.  No matter the cause, the two massive constructs collided with a near-unparalleled velocity, knocking Highwind from it's orbit and both crafts into a state of near uselessness.  The only difference was that one was filled to brim with pent-up Orks...
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The sound of a midnight red-alert knocked Shas'O Sha'shiva right out of a pleasant dream.  Hip deep wading through treacherous Eldar and backstabbing Farseers.  Pleasant, at least by her standards.  Wiping the sleep out of her eyes, she rolled over and grabbed her communicator.

"If this is another false alarm, I swear some Earth Caste are going to be walking sideways tomorrow."

There was a crackle, but the reply came back firm.

"I am afraid not, Shas'O.  We have lost signal to Highwind."

Sha'shiva sighed and covered her face.  This again?  That old station was half-filled with engineers who couldn't leave things well enough alone.

"Are you sure they just didn't install the wrong software again?  That's what happened last time."

"Begging your pardon, Shas'O, but that seems unlikely."

"And why is that?"

"We can see it breaking up in orbit."
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Shas'vre Kor'va was walking through the gardens outside the main hall just before the general calamity started, once again lost in thought.  They'd taken Lori from him.  No reason was really given, and any attempts to find out were swiftly rebuffed.  Even as a Shas'vre, he couldn't make any headway.  Days had passed, and he was falling into a sense of despair bordering on depression.  They had moved him out of their shared room, and had done their best to take away everything that reminded him of her.  He had asked, no demanded, to know why, and he was told with some aplomb by a very kindly-worded member of the Water Caste that it was "time to take on a greater burden for the future of the Greater Good."  Kor'va had pressed again, but was given the more direct message that "it would be a pity to lose his valuable genetic traits for generations yet unborn" and then quietly given a list of comely and perhaps even willing females. 

But, they weren't Lori. 

And that was all that mattered. 

The walks in the gardens were helping a bit, and he was trying to find out some way to come to some kind of acceptance in a situation far beyond his control, when he heard gasps from the people around him.  He looked up and saw that there was some kind of bright star in the sky, drawing closer.  It was funny, that was right where Brightwind usually... was...

Turning, he ran past the crowd towards the Riptide hanger.  Thinking would have to wait.  Things were going on that would probably need shooting.  At least that was going to be straightforward.
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Setup: Well, the terrain fairy has certainly done a number on this board, with one good sized piece of ruins near one corner and the other just off center towards the opposite corner.  Strewn around were a hefty amount of trees and a few scattered smaller ruins.

Objectives go with two in the center, three in one corner and one near the opposite side.

I go back in the far corner with the castled objectives, putting the Shas'O with Broadsides in the second story with Lorilune and the Guardians beneath them.  The Riptide and Wraithknight go to the flanks.  I realize that I'm kind of out of space at this point and decide to reserve the Wave Serpent and have the larger Kroot outflank.  I opt to reserve my smaller unit of Kroot.
My opponent loads his zone pretty heavily with the Lootas in the second story of his ruins, the Warboss attached to the Mek Guns (?) in the ground floor with the Battlewagon at the front.  The Bikes load up the front and remainder of his backfield.  He decides to outflank his shootas (? #2) and the Grots.

With everything done, I infiltrate up my Kroot near the center.  Now with a little luck I can be on five of six objectives.

And then...  my opponent steals the initiative!


Picture Caption: Right, come get me lads!  I've got a facefull of missiles ready for...  Wait... what just happened?

To Be Continued!

[BigToof]

Right, I think all the votes are in that are going to be in, so here comes the rep.

Apologies as the fluff just kind of ran away with itself.

Best,
-BT
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Interlude 2: At the Gates
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Much to the credit of the Earth Caste, his Riptide was already geared up as Shas'vre Kor'va ran into the hanger.  Turning to the side, he caught his helmet and whipped it on as he leaped onto the side of the suit.  The Earth Caste hardly raised an eyebrow at his gymnastic maneuvers, but it was more about speed than necessity at that point.  Plus, it probably looked hella cool.

The comms were already abuzz as his HUD booted up.

"Kor'va, is that you?"

Shas'O Shi'va's voice came in loud and clear, her own face popping up on the camera moments later.  She was halfway geared up herself.

"Bang at the ready Shi'va.  What's the sitrep?"

Shi'va sighed, "Not much, bits and pieces from the local arrays.  I told the Earth Caste that putting all of the primaries on Highwind was a disaster waiting to happen."

"Uh... right," said Kor'va trying his best to be diplomatic, "Any idea what hit Highwind?"

"Not sure, but I doubt it's friendly I...  What is that?"

A beeping sound brought both their attentions.  It was from one of the Shas'la guarding the gates.

"Begging your pardons, great ones.  But, there has been a gate breach."

"A... what?!" yelled Shi'va, "What...  Why are we not on full alert?  What broke in?  Why are you not..."

"B...  Begging your pardon, Shas'O, it was not someone breaking in.  They were breaking out."

Kor'va watched Shi'va's eyes widen as she replayed the security logs.  There, on the edge of the scanning radius was a group of errant signals.  Not Tau certainly, but familiar none the less.

"Eldar?" said Shi'va raising an eyebrow, "That's... that's the Farseer...  What are they all doing over..."

"Lori!" screamed Kor'va, knocking out the audio across the comms.  Before anyone could stop him, the Shas'vre activated his jump thrusters and charged out of the hanger.

"Bang!  Shas'vre Kor'va!  Get back in..."  Shi'va cut herself off.  Bang had lost his head all thanks to that Eldar.  What were they doing?  Surely the Eldar weren't sacrificing themselves in some kind of Kauyon maneuver?  But one thing was certain:  Bang had forced their hand and now they were forced to take the field against a still unknown foe.  She only hoped that the Greater Good would prevail.

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By Khaine's bleeding heart do those Orks take forever, swore Farseer Lorilune to herself.  As soon as the sky darkened and people started running for their lives, Lorilune knew that the Orks had arrived.  Sadly enough, their planetfall didn't kill enough of them, as falling out of the sky was standard Orkish landing protocol, and now the Greenskins were on their way.  She looked at the blinking collar in her hand.  Destroying it would just cause the cretins to run rampant across the planet.  And they might run into...  into Bang.

The image of his bloodied body was still fresh in her mind, and she had to do everything in her power to stop it.  Even if it did expose one of her most heavily guarded secrets.  With all of the chaos, the Tau couldn't possibly pay attention to them.  All she had to do was meet the Orks far away from the Tau, order them to leave and...

And then what?

She hadn't really thought that far.  What were the Orks here for?  Were they here for her?  If so, she'd have to go with them.  No matter, though.  Perhaps it would be for the best.  After time, Bang might forget about her.  Maybe.  But, he'd live.  And that was enough. 

Looking up, she saw belching smoke and warcries in the distance.  The Orks were ahead of schedule.  That was always a bad sign.  She shook her head as memories of more pleasant days popped to the surface.  It had been a pleasant dream, even on the shared battlefield, but that was coming to a close.  Funny, she could almost hear the clumping of Bang's bulky...

"LORI!"

Lorilune looked up and swore as Bang's signature Riptide slammed into the ground behind her.

"Bang?  What... what are you..."

Bang grabbed her in a hug, and Lorilune let him.  Tears welled to her eyes, as much as tried to will them away.  It had been too long indeed.

"Lori, we have to get you out of here.  You can't fight them by yourself!"

Lorilune pulled away and jabbed a finger into his chest.

"Me?  What are you talking about?  Why are you...  Never mind, you suicidal idiot!  Get out of here before..."

A rush of air signaled the arrival of an Orca dropship that whizzed by, and Lorilune growled as Shas'O Shi'va took the field in her heavily armored battlesuit flanked by a pair of XV-88 Broadsides armed to the teeth with bristling weaponry.

"Farseer," muttered Shi'va icely, "Do you know what kind of trouble you've gotten yourself into?"

Lorilune opened her mouth to respond when a great roar brought her attention back to the rapidly approaching horde.  Khaine take the Tau.  She just wanted to save everyone.  Why were they making it so hard?

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"'Ey, Boss!  I see Louie!"

Warboss BigToof popped his head out of his Battlewagon.  The driver of the clunky, growling, but uncannily brutal vehicle handed BigToof a pair of seein' goggles.

The Warboss put them up to his eyes and said, "Dat's good lookin'!  Dey's so far away!"

There was a pause until one of the Nobz walked over, took the goggles and put the right end up the Boss's eyeballs.

"Oh!" said Bigtoof, "Dat's much better.  Yeah, dat's Louie!  Dat's Louie alright!"

The heavily armored Ork leaped up and down, almost tilting the Battlewagon over.

"Go fasta!  I gotta...  I gotta...  What...  Who's... Fish'eads!"

BigToof gasped as a really big Fish'ead jumped over and grabbed Louie.  Louie musta been surprised 'cause there wasn't much of a fight.

"We gotta save Louie!" bellowed the Warboss, "Everybody, go go!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!"

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Turn 1: Orkz
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"Secure the Farseer!  Bang, get her on the Orca!"

Bang reached out an enormous arm and was surprised when Lorilune knocked it away.  The Eldar barely came up to the Riptide's waist, but she pointed a finger that made the battlesuit step back.

"Me?  It's not about...  Bang!  Get your people out of here!  Get Shi'va and her stuck-up fanny on your transport!  I can deal with things here!"

Bang turned back to look at Shi'va who glared at him and pointed at Lorilune, who in turn, shook her fist and pointed right back.  Caught between love and duty, Bang just stood there, his mind frozen as to what to do...

Which was plenty of time for the Orks to begin their attack.

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Objectives:
-Get 'em boss (VP for Warlord in combat)

Well, my opponent has pulled an entirely useless card for his first objective.  Hopefully that's a sign of things to come.  Everyone moves up and I'm a bit surprised that the Warboss allows the Mek Gunz to fire after moving!  (hmm... beardy...  I'm gonna write that one down.)

The Lootas and Mek Gunz light up my sadly flat-footed Kroot and wipe them out for First Blood.

Bikers and Battlewagon go flat out near the center of the board.

FB To Orkz
VP:1-0


Picture Caption: First Blood to the WAARGH!


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Turn 1: Taudar
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"Lori!  Get behind me!"

Lorilune waved Bang off.

"No, you idiot!  Get out of here!  All of you, we can..."

A hail of bullets caused them both to look out and see the last of the Kroot scouts cut to ribbons by Orkish fire.  That was unexpected.

"XV-88s, link with me," commanded Shi'va as her spectrum suite cut through the Orkish smog with ease, showing even disgusting detail of the alien invaders.  A slight smile crossed her face as missile locks dotted their crude vehicles with a deadly lightshow.  Let them see the true power of the Mont'ka.

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Objectives:
-Secure Obj 5

Sadly enough, Objectives 4, 5, 6 are on the Ork side.  I'm not getting those anytime soon.

Oh well, I try to pump up the Riptide with overcharge, but fail (sigh).

Sadly, I can't link Lorilune up to Bang, but well... 7th ed and all.
I pop Bang and the Wraithknight out the flanks, ready for a counter charge or just keep the Biker horde away from me.
Powers go off nicely as I put Prescience on the Guardian blob.

Shooting sadly not all I hoped, as I take down the front line of the bikes, but it's not enough as the Bikes have too many to test.  Oh, and FYI, 3+ cover save and FNP on T5 models is pretty sick.  The Wraithcannon and Brightlances try to do some damage to the Battlewagon, but I just can't do enough as much penetration rolls are sadly mediocre.



Picture Caption: You know, this used to be a lot easier...

[BigToof]

Well, we have once again survived another Second Sphere-Pocalypse, and well... half of the rep is gone...

BUT IT STILL LIVES!

And you know...  Backups!

Please respond again if you can!

Best,
-BT

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Turn 2: Orkz
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Tuffnutz was the Nob of the newly-made 'Ard Boyz (mostly as the scrap from the newly-crashed Killkrooza was the source of their armor), and were loaded to near overfilling on the Battlewagon.  The Fish'Eads were hidin' pretty well in their holes, but they hadn't taken into account propa Ork kunnin'.  He nodded to the Ork dutifully holding the Boardin' Plank.  With a little bit of luck, they'd be in faster than the Fishies could squeeze their triggers.  And then they'd all have a bit of fun.

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Objectives:
-Hold All Objectives
-Hold Obj 3

The Orks discard their card and pull two more equally useless ones.  (mostly so as they have to get my Wraithknight off Obj 3 to earn that point!)  My opponent calls the WAAARGH as the Grots come in from reserve on my right side and do another interesting move of lining the entire side of the board.  That's... beardy. (jot jot jot... don't mind me... just taking notes...)

The Greenskins keep coming, and the 'Ard Boyz dismount... about 12" or so from the front lines.  Surely he's measured it out.  Surely he knows that it's too far...  The Painboy links up with the footsloggers, which makes some sense.  I guess he thinks FNP is going to save them.  The Kannons and Lootas knock the Wraithknight down to half his wounds, but that's alright.  Half a Wraithknight is more than enough.  The 'Ard Boyz... run?  And then... assault??

I check and actaully, yes the Orks can now run and assault with their WAARGH!  Suddenly, 12" doesn't look that safe anymore...
Looking things over, the Orks get greedy and go for a multi-assault on Bang and the Guardians.  I chuckle as massive Overwatch goes into effect.  I kill maybe half a dozen Boyz, but I was hoping for a LOT more, but between 4+ armor and FNP, they are a hard nut to crack.  He rolls for distance and since the Orks can now reroll one of their dice, a mediocre charge of 7" turns into... 11"  Which gives them Hammer of Wrath?!

I... I'm a bit stunned, but yes, there it is, in black and white, as the Orks slam into the Guardians with I10 hits, bloodying the noses of about half of them.  I hit back as best I can, but I'm clearing trying to put square pegs into round holes as the Guardians just fail all over the place.  The 'Ard Boyz hit back and handily krump all of the Guardians, and make Lorilune take a scary number of saves (thankfully she makes them all).  I don't come close to making my morale check and Bang tries to fall back, but is caught in a sweeping advance.  Lorilune makes it though, but things really aren't looking that good at all now.


Picture Caption: That is a HUGE threat range!  When did Orks get good?


----------------
Turn 2: Taudar
----------------
Lorilune swore as the Orks catapulted from their rickety Battlewagon using some kind of enormous plank of wood like a kind of a slingshot.  She had counted on having a few more precious seconds to whittle them down, but that was clearly not the case here.

"Fall Back!" she screamed to the Guardians, who tried lamely to extricate themselves from their entrenched positions.  One of the Orks whipped something out from his waist and Lorilune tried not to raise an eyebrow.

Grenades?

When did the Orks bring...

A brace of crude explosives went high over the Eldars' heads, exploding and forcing the Guardians back to the front.  Lorilune shook her head.  Cunning indeed.  She had been away for too long and had underestimated the Orks.  Now she would pay for her arrogance.  Lifting her Wychblade, she waited for the Green Tide to hit them.  Then, she heard a shout,
"No!  No!  Leave her alone!"

Bang waved his arms around, trying to scare the Orks away, but only attracted them to his position.  The Orks were small in comparison and individually could do little than scratch the paint on the Riptide.  But they were beginning to swarm all over the massive suit, and Lorilune swore as she saw Bang fall. 

Like rats on a corpse, thought Lorilune. 

She only hoped that some would survive.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Objectives:
-Secure Obj 2
-Secure Obj 4

Lorilune rallies and I pull cards that would have been possible last turn.  Now with my plans in ruins, they're impossible.  Reserves fail to come in.  Just great.

Right, enough whining, time to strike back.  First off, those 'Ard Boyz have to go.  I move up the Wraithknight.  That'll do.  Shooting takes out some more Bikes, but it's less than I hoped.  No matter.  The Wraithknight goes in and takes apart a small handful of 'Ard Boyz, and they hit back with their Nob.  In the end, checks are made and the Orks stay stuck in.


Picture Caption: Things are stabilizing?  Maybe?


----------------
Turn 3: Orkz
----------------
Tuffnutz had a few moments of victory and was about to tear apart the big Fish'ead Kan that he had brought down.  A good trophy or two would put him nicely in the ranking for new Warbosses.  Then he heard a gasp, and looked over.

It was a Panzee Kan.  A really big one.

Tuffnutz narrowed his eyes.  This was gonna be a tough one.

---------------------------------------------

Objectives:
-Hold Obj 3
-Blood and Guts (destroy unit in assault)
-Secure Obj 2

Shootas come in on the opposite flank lining that side of the board which means that my Kroot now can't come in...
Well, my opponent now has command of the board and proceeds to take advantage of it by moving the bikes over to help the 'Ard Boyz.  Shooting has my opponent throw everything at the Shas'O's squad and I lose a Broadside and a few wounds on Shi'va.
Assault has the Orks clean up the Wraithknight in a flurry of Klaw hits.

VP: 4-0


Picture Caption: Things aren't looking up...


----------------
Turn 3: Taudar
----------------
Lorilune watched the Wraithknight fall.  How was this possible? she asked herself.  It seemed completely outlandish.  They were Orks!  Sticks and bullets against Wraithcannons and Brightlances.  How dare they...

And then she stopped in mid-sentence as she noticed them coming for her.  What should she do?  All of the Guardians had fallen.  But, Bang might still be alive.  Indecision came at all angles, and then she heard Shi'va's voice from above her.

"Go," said the Shas'O with a dismissive tone.  "Do what you should have done months ago.  Run away and leave us to our demise.  We are not afraid to sacrifice ourselves for the Greater Good.  Do what Eldar do best:  Run."

Lorilune paused for a moment, her mind considering Shi'va's words.  Every base instinct told her that it didn't matter what the speck of a Tau thought.  That if she died, it would mean more to the Craftworld than a hundred million of the little grey-skinned barbarians.  But, she would be damned if she was going to let herself be dismissed in such a fashion.

"Oh, do be quiet, Shi'va.  Let me do what Eldar do best: Save your pathetic hides once-more."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[BigToof]

Objectives:
-Secure Obj 4
-Hold All Objectives
-Hold Obj 4


Well, my Kroot try to come in, but as both flanks are blocked, they're effectively destroyed.  Sigh.

But so does my Wave Serpent!

Lorilune moves up and I throw all of my psychic shenanigans at the bikes, who have moved into a 6" circle of KFF-4-everyone.  Sadly enough, though afraid, they do not run.  Shooting tries to pare them down, but with only one gun firing, we don't get a lot done.  The Wave Serpent does what Wave Serpents do best and almost completely slaughter the Lootas in a massive shield-wave shot that sends the last few running.


Picture Caption: Maybe, just maybe this is the turning point?


----------------
Turn 4: Orkz
----------------
Objectives:
-Hold Obj 5
-Destroy Building
-Hold Obj 2
-Hold Obj 3

Well, bad news: he gets some pretty good cards.  Good news?  Uh... I have no buildings?

The Orks move to cement their objective hold on everything.  The Big Gunz fire into the Wave Serpent and shake it.

The 'Ard Boyz assault the Shas'O.  Shi'va has a pretty shaky number of wounds left, so I don't challenge.  The Klaw Nob minces the Broadside, but I do manage to get enough wounds done so we stay stuck in.  I then hit and run out of there though. 

VP: 7-0


Picture Caption: The RNG gods have forsaken me!


----------------
Turn 4: Taudar
----------------
Objectives:
-Secure Obj 4
-Hold Obj 4
-Issue Challenge
-Harness Psychic Power

Well, I can do some of this!  I move Shi'va up to charge the Shootas as they don't have a PK Nob.  I move Lorilune up to try and put some more irritation on the Bikes.

Psychic powers all go off fine, but the Bikes still won't break.  I throw some Wave Serpent shots, but hitting only on 6's means they don't do much.  Lorilune then Turbo-boosts to the far side of the board.

Shi'va assaults into the Shootas, and declares a challenge.  The Nob declines, but I still get my point.  The Shas'O squishes a few Orks, but you know... there's a lot of them...

VP: 7-2


Picture Caption: Desperate times.  Desperate measures.

----------------
Turn 5: Orkz
----------------
Why wouldn't they break?! screamed Lorilune internally.  She had thrown a Seer Council's worth of psychic onslaught into the Bikers, but they just wouldn't run.  She had thrown herself into the midst of the enemy assuming that she could do something, do anything.  But it was turning out to be another dismal failure.  Did she think herself so powerful that she could undo the skeins of fate?

A crude roar of engines signalled the arrival of the bikers, who fired and hit everything that wasn't her.  They gunned their engines and raced forwards.  Then, she noticed that the front row seemed to slow as they drew close, and there was a glimmer of recognition in their beady eyes.

Taking the cue, Lorilune threw off her helmet and whipped free the crude rod and collar she had kept hidden.

"Who dares attack Big Louie, ally to Warlord Grumgutz Bitzgrabber?!!  Run away now you little grots, or you will all regret it!"

-------------------------------------------------------

Objectives:
-Hold Obj 4
-Hold Obj 6
-Hold Obj 6
-Behind Enemy Lines
-Go Fasta (turbo boostx3 units)

That's... just... unfair.  So, he gets all four points pretty easily.  The Bikes move up to deal with Lorilune (sigh).
More shots go into the Wave Serpent, but I make all my saves.

The Bikes can only get a few to even see the Farseer, and their shots don't do any damage.  They then try for a VERY long distance charge and just make it.  They then FAIL their fear check.  Suddenly, they can't hit me, Lorilune does ONE wound...  And the Bikers fail their morale check.  That one biker loss put them under 10, which means that they can fail their mob rule (about 50% chance) and they do!  The Bikes go running off the board!  We have a... (checks VP total) uh... chance to save some face!

VP: 11-2

------------------
Turn 5: Taudar
------------------
Warboss BigToof was humming to himself as the really big gunz fired again.  The Panzee Tank was being knocked around pretty good.  There were some shots that bounced off him from time to time, but it was hard to tell what was going on what with the dust and all.  Still, it couldn't have been that bad, 'cause otherwise the Grots would be screaming for the hills.  Maybe they were even winning!  Now that would be something.  He had lost track of Louie a long time ago, but Louie'd show up soon enough.  There was a chorus of screams and roar of engines, and BigToof turned around to see all of the Bikers running off. 

Did they win already?

As if to answer him, a familiar red bike went up and over a ruin and slammed into the gunz, knocking the Grotz manning them every which way.  The slim figure of Big Louie roared at them, and the little gitz went everywhere.

Louie turned and looked at him, and then said in an almost incredulous voice, "You?!"

BigToof was so happy that he ran forward without thinking, arms outstretched.  Louie was screaming something, but the huge Warboss clearly wasn't paying attention as lost his balance, tripped over a Gun, and went headfirst into the equally surprised Eldar.

It took some time and help from a lot of Grots, but he was able to get back to his feet.  He gasped when he saw what had happened.  Louie's bike was totaled and the rider was lying in a curled-up pile.  Not dead though.  Probably.

The Warboss paced and felt worry start to creep over him.  He hoped Louie wouldn't be mad...

---------------------------------------------------

Objectives:
-Secure Obj 4
-Hold Obj 4
-Hold Obj 1
-Hold Obj 5
-Destroy unit with shooting

HAHAHAHA

I can do absolutely none of those things.  I decide to go for some glory and hit BigToof with all of my psychic shenanigans.  I then charge in with Lorilune after getting the Wave Serpent forward for Linebreaker.  The Warboss accepts my challenge.  I hit once... and he saves easily as he has 2+ re-rollable (!) save!  He then easily puts Lorilune out of commission.

Wanting to "throw me a bone" and since he wanted to see what would happen, the Shoota Nob accepts the Shas'O's challenge and gets pulped.  Shi'va then consolidates onto the nearby objective (yay?).

In the end though, it isn't pretty...



VP: 12-5

--------------------------------------------------
Result: TOTAL DOMINATION BY THE WAAARGH!
--------------------------------------------------

Post-Game Thoughts:


SURPRISE! 

Orks are actually really good!

Maelstrom and Orks seem to be made for each other, as they dominated the mid-board while I sat back and tried to shoot them up.  This worked last edition!

They are pretty different, and some units are pretty scary.
The Boss with 2+ re-rollable save, Warbikes, and the Mek Gunz were surprisingly good.
And that WAARGH! distance is just frightening.
Still, their new weakness is Leadership. They no longer gain Ld from their numbers, so for the most part they are all Ld7.
Terror and any Ld dropping effects really hurt them.
Also, sniping characters is now really, really important, as you can take down even the biggest mobs if they don't have a Nob to back them up.

How did TauDar do?
Badly. Just so badly.  I think my deployment was decent, but I got seized on and then underestimated the 'Ard Boyz charge range (it was like a 27" charge for goodness sakes!).  Those two factors basically swung the game, and my less than stellar (okay probably slightly below average) Broadside shooting didn't help.

I haven't been this frustrated in quite some time, and I think I'll need some major retooling before I try this again.

But, the fact that Orks now seem viable makes me wonder about allies.

Perhaps... perhaps one day the Tau and Orks can be friends.



Yeah... right...

---------------------------------------------------------------

------------------
Epilogue
------------------

Warboss BigToof and Big Mek Wingnut paced around the body of Big Louie.  Louie was still breathing, so not dead.  But she was screamin' like a Madboy when she went down, and probably wouldn't be in that great a mood when she woke up.  Just as both Orks were about to walk off, Louie jerked awake and staggered to her feet.

Immediately, both Orks pointed a finger at each other and yelled, "It was his fault!"

To their surprise, Lorilune staggered past them and across the battlefield towards the big Fish'ead Kan the Grots were looting.  Seeing the ex-Warp'ead's approach, the little creatures scampered away, screaming and defecating wildly.  BigToof and Wingnut followed at a safe distance just in case of explosions, but were a bit surprised when they saw Louie pull out the Kan Pilot and hold him in her arms.  She was saying something, but the Orks couldn't hear before she passed out.

The two Orks looked at each other in confusion.  Why had Louie run all the way over to get this one Fish'Ead?  It must be somethin' important.  Both paced for a bit, until the idea hit Wingnut.

"Louie wants dis here Fish'Ead for 'erself!  We can't krump it none!"

"Oo!" said BigToof, "Like dat beakie Maxie and Grumgutz!  Right, so we's leave it here, and then the Fish'Ead done come back for another go!"

Both Orks nodded at what was clearly the height of Orkish deduction.

As the Orks walked away with their newly acquired Farseer, Shas'O Shi'va watched quietly over the mess of her long-range sensors.  Lorilune hadn't run away.  It boggled her mind.  Maybe it was just selfish pride...  Or maybe, just maybe the Eldar felt something resembling affection for Bang.  Shi'va had thought that the Eldar was just masquerading her true feelings and it was just another one of their selfish plots that would leave Bang a mess afterwards.  But, perhaps it was more.  Which meant that as soon as the Orks cleared the field, she would have to admit to Kor'va that it wasn't out of the possibility that he may have been right.  Which then meant that he would want to go after her.

Shi'va shook her head.  She couldn't hear what the Orks were saying, but one thing was clear:  Whoever this "Big Louie" was, he wasn't going to stop at one planet.  Shi'va had to stop him by any means necessary.  Even if it meant the sacrifice of her own life and that of her entire Cadre.  Bang would understand that.  For the Greater Good, she swore this would be done.

[BigToof]

BONUS BITZ:

In case anyone is asking I've tried up a few lists, and I've found a few things are spectacular:

1.  Warboss with Finkin' Kap
Grumgutz loves his Kap, as almost ALL of the strategic traits are gold.  I got infiltrate and it's so, so good on a mob of Boyz and Lootas!  Put him on a bike and he can "reach out" for assaults that your mob would otherwise miss.

2.  Mek Gunz
Hella cheap.  The LOBBAS are surprisingly good for their points!  I know, I couldn't believe it either, but they are so cheap, you can spam them out and they are hella amazing.

3.  MANZ Missiles
Cheap, cheerful and point and click destruction.  Even if they don't get anywhere, they can cause major problems.  If you infiltrate them, they're also amazing.

4.  Painboy
The Painboy is cheap, and is arguably better in large groups.  He can help a lot in keeping mobz alive and into combat.

Units that are good, but not OP:

1.  Warbikes
Bikes have that problem of being not so great once you hit less than 10 and they have major Ld issues.  Still a good delivery unit.

2. Lootas
Their major issue (besides Ld) is that Mek Guns do the same sort of thing, but are more durable and cheaper.  Still, they are VERY good for what you get.

3.  Battlewagons
More expensive, but AV14 is hard to really argue with.  Dynamite with 'Ard Boyz and MANZ.

4.  Tankbustas
Gives an extra VP if you bust a tank for first blood, but aren't as reliable if your opponent has no really juicy targets that he doesn't screen out.  Plus, you have to rely on Ork shooting which is kind of situational at best.  Still, they get my vote for most improved unit, as they now have Tank Hunters and are cheaper and can ride in a Trukk!

Mates I want to try out:

1.  Stormboyz
Fast as anything and cheap.  They seem to be a good way to buffer incoming shots, and their charge range is, quite frankly, ridiculous.  I think they might act as good competition with the bikes, as they both have good speed, and although the bikes have better defense, Stormboyz can easily outnumber them.


Overall, I really like the Ork Codex.

Let me know what you all think too! 

If there's a particular build you want me to try let me know and I'll try to accommodate.

Best,
-BT

[Cammerz]

Sorry to see you lost the end of your report, and all of our responses, I'm pretty sure you read mine at the time but if not the highlights were as follows:

1) Wow that was brutal
2) Beardy table-denying tactics
3) Yay! Big Louie's back!

But since wiriting that I have managed to investigate the Ork codex so I can finally comment upon that.
The first thing that threw me was the movement of Lootas to Heavy Support, unless the version of the codex I 'acquired' is somehow wrong. It makes some sense but I still see them as more of an elite choice.

As for things I'd like to see in an upcoming list, certainly a return of Grumgutz and Da Big Five, lets see if they inspire as much fear in your gaming group as they did in the good old days, I recall you saying that people would refuse to play them which is why you first had to introduce armies dual-led by Wingnut and Lorilune.
Obviously nowadays you could feasibly fit all three into one army but that may be unlikely given that you liked the Painboy so much.
Just promise me you won't have Lorilune casting anything from daemonology, she's way above that sort of thing, stick to Waaagh! Powers.

I notice that Killa Kans can now be taken in mobs of 6, that just sounds like fun to me, with a potential 18 running around in a standard FOC list. Flash Gitz also look like they might be much improved in this edition with three shots each at BS3 if you don't move them, 1 in 3 chance of melting terminators and a 50-50 chance to break anything in power armour.

Also I gather there's nothing stopping you from having a Big Mek on a Warbike with a Shokk Attack Gun. Just put that image in your mind and tell me Wingnut doesn't want to give it a go, even just once.

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with,

Job's a good un!

[BigToof]

Sorry to see you lost the end of your report, and all of our responses, I'm pretty sure you read mine at the time but if not the highlights were as follows:

1) Wow that was brutal
2) Beardy table-denying tactics
3) Yay! Big Louie's back!

But since wiriting that I have managed to investigate the Ork codex so I can finally comment upon that.
The first thing that threw me was the movement of Lootas to Heavy Support, unless the version of the codex I 'acquired' is somehow wrong. It makes some sense but I still see them as more of an elite choice.

As for things I'd like to see in an upcoming list, certainly a return of Grumgutz and Da Big Five, lets see if they inspire as much fear in your gaming group as they did in the good old days, I recall you saying that people would refuse to play them which is why you first had to introduce armies dual-led by Wingnut and Lorilune.
Obviously nowadays you could feasibly fit all three into one army but that may be unlikely given that you liked the Painboy so much.
Just promise me you won't have Lorilune casting anything from daemonology, she's way above that sort of thing, stick to Waaagh! Powers.

I notice that Killa Kans can now be taken in mobs of 6, that just sounds like fun to me, with a potential 18 running around in a standard FOC list. Flash Gitz also look like they might be much improved in this edition with three shots each at BS3 if you don't move them, 1 in 3 chance of melting terminators and a 50-50 chance to break anything in power armour.

Also I gather there's nothing stopping you from having a Big Mek on a Warbike with a Shokk Attack Gun. Just put that image in your mind and tell me Wingnut doesn't want to give it a go, even just once.

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with,

Job's a good un!

Hi Cammerz,
Thanks for the re-reply.
Sadly Lootas did move to heavy, but I think the Codex gained enough options that we'll still do ok.
Thanks for your suggestions, I'll have to try them out! 
Oh, and don't worry, the fluff will be advancing barring any unforseen circumstances.

Best,
-BT