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Orks Gone Wild! [The RP Thread]

Started by BigToof, December 12, 2012, 02:30:10 PM

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BigToof

Fair enough.

-------------

Still waiting for Isaac, RZ, EagleEye.

As soon as I get the "all clear from them" (or if a really egregious amount of time passes), we can get to the first encounter.  :)

Best,
-BT
BigToof Points:

Cammerz: 8
Waaaghpower: 1
The Man They Call Jayne: 3
Mabbz: 6
Archon Sharrek: 3

Lord Sotek

3d6 vs 'Ardness = 11 vs 14 (Success!)

Ledwrekka had been minding his own business, redistributing Big Shoota bullitz from one of the Trukks in the motor pool to his ammo packs, when gravity suddenly decided to go funny and all the trukks and wagons, his included, decided to hop up in the air and fly left in a pile. He blinked, more than a little confused; he hadn't remembered that mobz' wagon having a Red Kustom Paintjob before. Maybe the grots had redone it when everything was flying left? They were sneaky buggers like that.

Setting the mystery aside, Led booted plates of scrap metal off of himself and upended the flipped Truck chassis that had temporarily caged him in its rear bed. Scrabbling about, he dug Mitzie out of the rubble and brushed her off lovingly, sighing with relief to notice that she didn't have any scratches or dings that hadn't been there before.

Nodding to himself, he stomped along the floor and out the hatch, only to notice that everything was sideways and he was flying left again, before he landed on a pile of boyz; the weight of his 'eavy armor crushing several flatter than previously, but slowing his fall. Angrily, he demanded to know why they were all muckin' about, before realizing that they were all being way too still and mild-mannered under his tirade. So he shot them a couple times, to liven their ideas up.

When that didn't work, he decided that either they'd been dead or Mitzie'd made 'em dead, so they were a lost cause. Climbing down the pile of mangled ork corpses, he pounded his feet into earth and peered in indignant incredulousness at sky as he stomped his way over the the nearest bunch of orks that didn't look all broken and non-move-y. "Oi, you lot, since when did we land, and why didn't nunyaz tell me about it? Tryina make me look bad in front'o Nob Zigdakka, eh? I'll smarten you up if you was. Oi, and wot sorta Deffgitz is you anyways? Ain't nun ov yas even got proppa 'eavy armor?"
Quote from: Saulus on March 17, 2011, 06:16:56 PM
Often I hear delusional ramble like "I painted and collected my army as ultramarine tyranid hunters....but Pedro is really good, so now I'm using him, but I'm just going to call him Jimbob-Fistpumper, cause that fits with my

Will's on Fire

Suddenly realising what he could be doing instead of biding time, Zaag looked at the crashed rokk. So full of dead orks. They won't be needin' their stuff anymore!

"Oi, ya gitz, shall we get lootin', lets see what we can get togetha!"

Zaag started searching the wreckage for stikkbombs, tankbusta bombs and a shoota or two.

Wargamer

Grotbolt settled down at one of the piles of scrap and, like any good Mek, began to loot it. The 'scrap' turned out to be a chunk of bulkhead that may have been connected to a Stompa at some point. He did his best to ignore the shiny gubbins for now and crawled a little way inside to examine the cramped interior, coming across the broken form of the Stompa Kaptain', who had died at his post. In the giant Ork's hands were a collection of leather-bound books, the face and pages of which were covered in Ork gliff-skript.

Satisfied at his prize, Grotbolt settled back down outside the wreck and began to read. Reading was a very important skill for a Mek; sometimes you had to write ideas down so you could remember them later. Sometimes you had to write ideas down for other Meks to build them. Most of the time, you just had to know which of the glowing red lights meant "We'z gonna' get killy now!" and which ones meant "Oh zog! Run like a Grot in a girly pink tutu!"

The first book had a picture of a large, angry Warboss crudely drawn on the front. Its title, painted in angry red gliffs, was 'Ere We Go!, with the subtitle A guide on all things Waaagh!

To satisfy his own curiosity, he turned to the section on "Meks an' Spanner Boyz" and dutifully read the gliffs, which had to wander erratically around the page to make room for some really cool drawings of big guns and Dreads and stuff.
"Da first thing you must do..." Grotbolt read slowly, tracing his finger along, up, around and behind the page as he followed what passed for a written language amongst Orks. "Is find da biggest Mek and make him Big Mek. Da Big Mek shall do all the grand schemin' and..."

{Cunnin' test against the difficult word: 3d6=4}

"...Konseptualising!" he cried triumphantly. "Of all da Mek projects. Everyone else will do what he sez."

This all seemed very straightforward and sensible to Grotbolt, the only living Mek, but he felt it worthwhile, for once, to read all of the instructions before hurling them away and never consulting them again. "A handy way to determine da Big Mek is to look at how many Wounds dey have. Meks with two or more Wounds have clearly been in a lot of fights and so are very 'Ard, whereas a Mek with only one Wound is probably not that 'Ard. Meks with loads and loads of Wounds are only super-'Ard Masta' Meks if they is actually still alive; if dey dead, then they hasn't got any Wounds because you can't Wound a dead thing, so that don't count."

Grotbolt considered this wisdom, and decided that, just to be safe, he would stub his toe and hit himself in the head with the book. Thus producing two Wounds, albeit minor ones, Grotbolt felt confident in declaring himself Big Mek, and securing his position as part of the mob Headquarters. Protocol satisfied, Grotbolt grabbed some interesting lengths of wire, shoved them down his pants, and went to find out what everyone else was doing.
I wrote a novel - Dreamscape: The Wanderer.. Available in paperback and pdf.

Quote from: Liberate the Warhammers
People who have no sense of Sportsmanship have NO PLACE designing any Gaming system

Ravager Zero

Pulling himself stiffly out of the burning wreckage
Rav's Awesome Card Counter: +2

Quote from: Kane
...and whipped cream, a bottle of baileys, seven pairs of non-matching shoes, a combine harvester, a box of matches, and three indie rock bands drunk off their skull is technically acceptable on private property.

Mabbz

Ducktape watched in amusment as the tankhamma hit him. The only noticeable effect was that the rokkit fell off. He picked it back up and threw it at Gorksal, who was looking a bit sheepish. He decided it was time to start acting like the boss he was (even if no-one else agreed).

"If any of ya fink ya can take me, ya need ya heads examined!" the doktor bellowed. "I can give ya an appointment! If not, get ta work ya lazy gits. Dere's loot ing to be done before da humies get here and we give 'em a good krumpin'. And you," he added to Gorksal. "Fix ya tankhamma."

Satisfied that there wouldn't be any more challenges for the moment, Ducktape swaggered over to a nearby pile of rubble to try and find something he could use as a choppa.

The Man They Call Jayne

'Edbusta didn't have much use for extra weapons, Weirdboys had a Pole, and dat was enough! Although a few extra totems and lucky do-wots wouldn't go amiss. 'E would make the Dok understand the situation later. Until that time though, there wer' 'umies to krump, and that was much more fun coz they made better noises.

Well, time to see what was going to be lucky! He walked over the rubble until he felt right, then he flung the Pole out from him and chased after it as it spun through the air. It landed with a clang on a heap of wreckage and he dug it out again.

[Luck for finding a totem = 3d6 ? [6,6,4] = (16)]

Pulling the pole out of the ground he found that it had aquired a new fingy. Closer examination revealed it to be a chunk of leather wrapped metal that had been scorched blue by the fires around them. 'Edbusta could only take this as a good sign that 'e was Ay, going to be much luckier now, and Bee, that 'e was DEFFNATLY ment to be Da Boss.
Jaynes Awesome Card Counter: +5

Secondspheres Crash Card Counter +4



BigToof

Right... I think I have responses from everyone but EagleEye, so I'm going to press forward.

EagleEye, when you see this message, just reply and we will work it all out retroactively.

So...

1.  Lootin'
As many of you have seen, there's a lot of loot, but a lot of it is melted due to reentry or smashed up.

To see what you get roll Luck:
If you make it straight, then you find a slugga, choppa, or some ammo (any kind; a clip or two rokkits)
If you make it by 2, you find a large workable item (i.e. Shoota, Tankhammer, Big Choppa, Heavy Armor) or two small items.
If you make it by 5, you find a large item and a small item or three small items.
Remember that you can only hold 2 small items/1 large item per 5 'Ardness you have!

2.  Roll Cunnin'
The first encounter is starting!

If you FAIL Cunnin':
You Ork can make out what sounds like some talking that is definitely not-ork and some "fwoosh" sounds over thataways.

If you SUCCEED Cunnin' (by 0):
You can tell that it sounds like hummie talkin' and that a burna is gushing out flame.  Probably over the next ridge.

If you SUCCEED by 2:
You can tell that there's a lot of hummies, they have a workin' burna, and there's a rumbling that sounds like a tank.

If you SUCCEED by 5:
There's about 10 or so hummies, they got a burna that sounds like it's workin', but they're not making big shots so they might be runnin' low on gas.  They also got a Chimera.  They're talkin' regular like, so they probably don't know that Orks are around.

-----------------
Let me know your plan of approach, and we'll go from there :)

Best,
-BT
BigToof Points:

Cammerz: 8
Waaaghpower: 1
The Man They Call Jayne: 3
Mabbz: 6
Archon Sharrek: 3

Railgun Convention

Lurtz started back in the direction of his plane, searching the ground for any useful bitz that might've fallen off.

3d6=16 against 16

It didn't take him long to reach his downed aircraft - most of the scattered bits and bobs were no more than sheet metal, not of much use. When he reached the plane, he went to the other wing. Its guns were all smashed up, but one of the ammo boxes was still intact, so he grabbed it and headed back.

3d6=14 against 5 - epic fail! I swear I keep rolling way too high.

Apparently, something had locked his helmet over his ears, 'cos Lurtz couldn't 'ear a damned thing on his way back.
So how many crashes have I survived now?

Mabbz

Lootin': 11
Cunnin': 12

Ducktape didn't have any luck finding a choppa; he blamed it on the weird guy that kept talkin' nonsense here rather than stayin' in da OoC thread. He did, however, hear one useful thing: BigToof said somefing about a load of humies wiv a burna and a tank. He went to round up the others woth a big grin. Everyone would see he was da boss soon.

The Man They Call Jayne

[Luck for Lootin' 3d6 ? [5,2,2] = (9)]

Feeling very lucky with his new totem, 'Edbusta scrabbled around in the wreckage and unearthed the not entirly smooshed, but very entirly dead body of an 'Ard Boy. Well, 'e wasn't going to be needing that armour was 'e? He quickly removed it and strapped it to 'imself. No harm in having some extra 'ardness between you and any shootas and choppas that were comin' your way. The former 'Ard Boy also had a Slugga with 'im. 'Edbusta took that too, on the basis that more Dakka was good dakka.

[Cunnin' Test =3d6 ? [3,4,2] = (9) ]

As he made his way back, 'Edbustas psyker skillz detected fings moving towards them. 'Umies. . a largeish group. Plenty good for more Lootin' and to get back on track wiv 'is new WARGH!

"Ok you rotten lot! I is givin' the rulez now! We gots 'umies coming over 'ere to try and loot our Rokk! We ain't gonna let 'em though are we! We's gonna show these squishy pinkskins what Proppa Orks is ain't we!

YOU! Da Sneaky Git! You go over dere and sneak up behind 'em while dey is distracted. YOU! Wiv da Big Big Shoota! You get over dere so you can shoot 'em whiles they is chargin' at us ova 'ere! DEN! WE ALLZ CHARGE 'EM AND KRUMP 'EM GOOD!"
Jaynes Awesome Card Counter: +5

Secondspheres Crash Card Counter +4



Eagle eye

#26
1. Lootin result
3d6 ? [2,3,4] = (9)
found nothing
2.Cunning test
3d6 ? [2,1,5] = (8 )
(how did i go for it?)
i think its a failed for cunning

Gruk Erupted from the rubble of the crashed rock with both fists punching the air with the sun beating down on his green shoulders as he yelled

'YUS TRYIN TO KILL MEH GRALAXY IYS IZ GRUK THE BESTES LOOTA IN DA UMIVERSE'

Quote from: BigToof on December 13, 2012, 02:24:11 PM
Right... I think I have responses from everyone but EagleEye, so I'm going to press forward.

EagleEye, when you see this message, just reply and we will work it all out retroactively.

So...

1.  Lootin'
As many of you have seen, there's a lot of loot, but a lot of it is melted due to reentry or smashed up.

To see what you get roll Luck:
If you make it straight, then you find a slugga, choppa, or some ammo (any kind; a clip or two rokkits)
If you make it by 2, you find a large workable item (i.e. Shoota, Tankhammer, Big Choppa, Heavy Armor) or two small items.
If you make it by 5, you find a large item and a small item or three small items.
Remember that you can only hold 2 small items/1 large item per 5 'Ardness you have!

2.  Roll Cunnin'
The first encounter is starting!

If you FAIL Cunnin':
You Ork can make out what sounds like some talking that is definitely not-ork and some "fwoosh" sounds over thataways.

If you SUCCEED Cunnin' (by 0):
You can tell that it sounds like hummie talkin' and that a burna is gushing out flame.  Probably over the next ridge.

If you SUCCEED by 2:
You can tell that there's a lot of hummies, they have a workin' burna, and there's a rumbling that sounds like a tank.

If you SUCCEED by 5:
There's about 10 or so hummies, they got a burna that sounds like it's workin', but they're not making big shots so they might be runnin' low on gas.  They also got a Chimera.  They're talkin' regular like, so they probably don't know that Orks are around.

-----------------
Let me know your plan of approach, and we'll go from there :)

Best,
-BT

Mabbz

All the orks stared at Gruk for a moment. Then Ducktape figured he may as well take over from 'Edbusta.

"Ya nearly missed da fun, ya lazy git! Get over there wiv da big shoota boy who's name I don't know!" He turned to the rest of them. "They've got a tank and a burna, so Gorksal blow it up!"

Ravager Zero

Gorksal scrambled around after Ducktape threw da obviously broken rokkit back at 'im. The tankbusta just frew da rokkit over 'is shoulder and set about lookin' for better rokkits. Gorksal couldn't find a zoggin' thing. Not one rokkit, not a rusty old choppa, just loads and loadsa scrap.

Wandering around, Gorksal heard nothing over the general shouting ov da boyz around 'im. When Ducktape shouted about a humie wagon Gorksal forgot about everyfink else. 'cept dat broken rokkit. A broken rokkit was still better dan no rokkits at all.
Rav's Awesome Card Counter: +2

Quote from: Kane
...and whipped cream, a bottle of baileys, seven pairs of non-matching shoes, a combine harvester, a box of matches, and three indie rock bands drunk off their skull is technically acceptable on private property.

BigToof

I think I've got most responses now, but I'll leave things a bit so you can make a plan (or just running up and screaming if you like).

As you all crest the next hill, you see a fairly orderly group of hummies marching down a small path cut between big piles of Ork Rokk rubble.  They have a big tank (Chimera) with them.  You're on the left flank of their column, and they haven't noticed you yet, as the tank is pretty loud.
The Guardsman in front apparently has burna duty, and is burning anything that seems dangerous.
Which, as you can imagine, is taking a long time.  He's none too happy about it, but I suspect his concerns will be limited given the uh... sudden greenskin influx coming to them.

If you charge in straight and screaming, you will get shot at.  The Guardsmen aren't horrible shots, and will hit you once or twice, making you take a cunnin' or 'ardness roll.  Once you hit them uh... You can roll to start splattering them.  Don't worry about their resistance rolls, they're far too weedy for that.  They may start to try jabbing you back with combat knives, bayonets or a brick the SECOND combat round, but well...  that might be too late.

The burna guy is too slow, so he won't be able to burna anybody the FIRST combat round (unless someone deals with him, the second will be more painful).

The Chimera will also be reacting a bit slower, and will start moving it's turrent and treads towards you, which means Multi-Laser and Heavy Flamers coming your way the SECOND combat round, unless noone comes to stop it (hint, hint).

---------------------

I'm going to be away this weekend, sadly in a place that knows no internet, so I will not be as communicative as normal.

I have asked Zambia to answer questions, and we will go with the flow.

Depending on the mayhem, I will make another interlude, showcasing the uh... destruction from both points of view.

With luck, I'll be back Monday and we can go from there :)

Best,
-BT
BigToof Points:

Cammerz: 8
Waaaghpower: 1
The Man They Call Jayne: 3
Mabbz: 6
Archon Sharrek: 3