Behind Enemy Lines (RP thread)

[The Man They Call Jayne]

"The Imperium will always fight for its own, for any humans out in the galaxy. Because the Emperor Protects. And he protects through us. I have seen these Xenos and their promise of a "Greater Good" before. Nothing but hollow lies in the long term. Of course, given the other things I have seen, I am glad it is only them and not something far far worse."

"War is hell. Nobody WANT'S war. In an ideal galaxy, everyone would understand that it was simply best to accept the light of The Emperor, and there would be peace, but they don't."

"You should understand that while you are right, and the Imperium could never regain the resources spent on this world, it isn't trying to. It is just trying to hold resources, it is trying to hold you the people, it's own people. And it will never be subtle to anyone about how far it is willing to go to protect his own."

[Mabbz]

Joycean gave Adam the weary look of someone who isn't entirely convinced, but can't be bothered to argue. "I'll forge some medical records for you to make it look like you're a citizen, and I'll corroborate your ridiculous illness story. Hopefully the Tau will let you go; I don't like having to hand my patients over to the interrogators. I'm not sure what I can do for your friend though, since he's now officially out of my care. Hopefully he won't do anything stupid."

Before Adam could respond, the doors opened and the Fire Warriors returned. True to her word, Joycean prescribed Adam some medication for his condition and asked that he be given leniency for extenuating circumstances. The Tau simply said that they would pass the reccommendation on, before unchaining Adam ready to take him to a holding cell.



"Please tell me your name."

Frank's bed had been folded to force him into a sitting position. He was sat in a small room, empty except for a table, a mirror glass window and two Tau, one a guard by the door and the other a member of the Water Caste, seated on the other side of the desk.



Walking the streets for an hour, Hertius and Maria found nothing out of the ordinary to help them find the resistance. "It's not all that surprising really," Maria had noted. "If they were obvious enough to be found by a pair of newcomers in one evening, the Tau would have gotten them by now."

"True. We will need to think of some plan to draw them out of hiding."

"For now though we should get to the devilfish. Who knows what the ogryn could be doing, unsupervised."

[Wargamer]

McTavish grinned at his captors. "Did I use Marneus Calgar yet? No, fine, my name is Iram Sejanus Dorrick of the Vostr- Wait! Better idea! I'm Frank McTavish of the Imperial Stormtroopers! That's much more exciting than being a Guardsman."

[Narric]

"Yes, the devilfish, just outside of Town." Hertius spoke a little louder than Maria was expecting, suddenly making her nervous.
"what are you doing" Forgeting her station, she hissed in alarm. Hertius leaned down to her but maintained a veiw of as much of the street as possible.
"Hopefully attracting the right attention. We should get moving quickly though, otherwise the wrong kind of attention will take notice."

[Mabbz]

The Por'vre regarded Frank for a moment before speaking. "Very well... Frank. You were arrested for attacking Tau peacekeepers as without provocation. Please explain why you acted the way you did."

McTavish thought long and hard, before giving a detailed and considered response. "Nope."

The Por'vre was not amused. "You do realise how much trouble you're in, don't you? So far all we know about you are your actions, and the fact that you seem to know more than most about the Imperium. At least, more than most citizens of this world; I doubt many natives could name a Primarch. So if you have nothing to say to us, we'll just have to ship you off to a POW camp for the rest of your life."

"Oh, I didn't say I wouldn't speak," said Frank, trying to put a more serious face on. "I just need more of an incentive."

"You want to make a deal?"

"Yes. After all, as a - what did I say I was? Oh yeah - as an officer of the Stormtroopers, I know a great deal about the current plans of our forces. But as I said, you'd need to sweeten the deal first."

"And what would you want?"

Frank gave this some thought. "A new identity would be nice, to keep me safe from the Imperium besides, I like to switch every few months. Oh, and a house too."

"If your information proved useful enough, that could be arranged."

"Excellent," Frank beamed. "So our plans are - Wait! I just thought of something! If I'm gonna have a new identity then I need friends! Can you promise me neighbours that'll swear they've known me for at least twenty years?"

The Por'vre smiled genially. "I'm sure that can be arranged. Now what were you saying?"

"Oh right, the plans. The 503rd Valhallans are going to... Hmm... I might get lonely though. Can I have a puppy?"

Just then there was a small beep on a datapad in front of the Por'vre. He glanced at it before continuing to smile at Frank. "I don't know if they have any on this world. Would a young Kroot hound suffice?"

"That sounds great! So the 503rd are being sent to base two-nine-one, where they'll... Actually, puppies make nice companions but they can't help in other forms of loneliness. Do the Tau have sex slaves? I mean, I've heard Tau are like cows, so I figured they'd have great tits!"

"Oh, you don't know the half of it Frank." The Tau's eyes shone. "I mean it varies on your tastes, really. The Fire Caste prostitutes are very aggressive, so you might want them if you're in to BDSM. Then there's the Air Caste; really tall and flexible, and fantastic in Zero G. The Earth Caste tend to like to experiment, especially with their little devices. And trust me, the Water Caste are very cunning linguists, if you understand me. And the Ethereals... I can't even describe it. Will two of each do?"



"So you think we might have been watched by the resistance?" asked Maria as they neared the devilfish.

"Possibly, especially if they heard about our little encounter with the patrol earlier. Hopefully they'll send someone to check us out, and-" Hertius stopped abruptly, as he took in the scene ahead.

Steve was sat on top of the devilfish with a look of glee on his face. Throwing his arms in the air, he slid down the front, yelling "WHEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!" Upon reaching the bottom, he immediately ran round the side and clambered back up, before sliding down once more. Based on the increasingly large crater at the foot of the 'slide', he had probably been doing this all afternoon.

[Wargamer]

McTavish let out a deep belly laugh. "Oh I like you! I was going to bullshit you some more, but you deserve the truth!"

The laughter played out, leaving McTavish more sombre. "I was a Guardsman. Served all my adult life. I volunteered, the kind of volunteering where you get sent to a penal legion if you don't. I gave everything to the Guard, and all I ever wanted was to go home afterwards. When I learned that wouldn't happen, I deserted. Wound up here by accident, got pissed and got into a fight. I lost a lot of good friends to your kind, to some general called Farsight."

"So that's it. No big plans, no conspiracy, just a traitor with nothing left to lose, and a lot of grudges to settle." By the end, McTavish sounded downright dejected.

[Mabbz]

"Well, I must say that you are easily the most fun of any Guardsman I've ever interviewed, Frank," the Por'vre said, still smiling. "A very good liar too. Your only real mistake was giving your real name in jest. Fortunately we have you on record, Sergeant." He glanced back down at his pad. "Or do you actually prefer to be called 'Mad Bastard'? In any case, there's nothing here about you deserting, and these are fairly up to date."

[Wargamer]

"You met Mad Bastard? I should have gone with Elim Rilke, he's definitely dead. My name is John Macharius Carter, 203rd Etruscan Fusiliers, serial number 356-324-109. Check with that Farsight bugger, his men made off with enough of our intel when they weren't blowing up my company."

[Mabbz]

"Frank, we have your service record." He was still smiling, but it had dropped slightly so that it looked more sympathetic than amused. "Picture included. I admit these games are fun, but can we talk about your future for a moment? Specifically the part where you get shipped off to a POW camp on the next transport. I'd like to help you, if I can. As I said, you are a lot of fun and I feel you deserve better than lifetime imprisonment. But you have to give me something first."

[Wargamer]

"well, that stuff about dropping belltowers on people is true. Xrimms world? Kremms world?  Anyway, that was me and mine. You wouldn't believe the reprimand I got for that one. Hence my suicide mission here, actually. I'm supposed to blow up as much shit as I can before I die." McTavish laughed aloud again. "Someone should have told the Colonel that Stormtroopers never die!"

[Mabbz]

"A simple, straightforward mission then. And one you seem impressively well suited for, based on our intel," he added, scanning through the information on his pad. He gave a small chuckle at one of the entries, before shaking himself and looking back at Frank. "Although I haven't heard many explosions recently. Can I assume your mission isn't going well? Or do you have any explosions you wish to take credit for?"

[Narric]

"In the Emperor's name, have you not heard of laying low?!" Hertius nearly broke his respirator with how loud he had shouted. The Ogryn slid down the devilfish's front slope with a thud, all glee banished from his muscular yet childish face. Instead it was plastered with a mix of anger and sorrow.
"Surry sur." The Ogryn sulked. "Go' bord just sittin' in du back." Hertius sighed and shrugged.
"Has anyone come past?" He asked, surveying the surrounding terrain and flora.

[Wargamer]

"You seem to be keeping tabs on me pretty well. How's that Shas'ui I was planning to bang? Tell her I'm sorry I broke her tanks, but I always overdo it when I'm making a first impression."

[Mabbz]

Steve's face screwed up in concentration. Suddenly, it brightened. "Dere was a fluffy!"

"A... fluffy?" asked Maria, confused. Steve just nodded enthusiastically. She tried again. "What is a fluffy?"

Again, the look of an Ogryn in thought. "A fluffy fing. Small. It ran away. A fluffy."

Hertius sighed again. "Did anyone else come past? A human? Or a Tau?"

"No, none of dose fings. You want me to find wun?"



"I don't know anything about-" he paused for amoment, as if having just remembered something. "Wait, are you referring to the patrol that got ambushed? Some way east of here? They were investigating a transport we'd shot down."

[Narric]

"No, no, no, there is no need to find one. Given the circumstances, I'm sure they'll find us. For now Steve, I need you to watch the area for any suspicious activity.... Just don't start shooting until I say so."