This is what I've been waiting for, I can't remember how many years it's been since we last saw Grumgutz but I can tell just from the intro that it has been worth the wait. Another advantage of this edition, we can have all three big characters; Grumgutz, Louie and Wingnut. Probably together for the first time.
I've heard good things about those Traktor Cannons this edition, and I'm glad to hear that Warbosses are good too. Any word on Da Big Five? I suppose they aren't needed as much these days as Grumgutz can't be targeted at range.
Looking forward to reading more, now go an krump those knights.
Hi Cammerz,
It is GOOD to have the Warlord back and he is a great player in this rep. The Traktor Kannons are kind of reliable with auto-hits, and I took a bunch thinking that they would do a lot, but in the end... well... not THAT much.
Here's the rest of the rep!
Let me know what you think.
Best,
-BT
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Prologue
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Baronet Ashelyn Raven shook her head, her ash-white hair tossling in front of her eyes. Things had gotten complicated. House Raven had answered the call of the Forge World on Deneb IV. Orks. Why did it have to be Orks?
Some creatures could be reasoned with, driven off with a show of force. Eldar. Tau. The sane ones.
But, the Orks were backwards monstrosities. Killing them only seemed to spur them on. Still, even an ocean can be drained if you were patient enough. So, they had spent the lives of their Guardsmen like the dross they were and just when they were about to put the killing blow on the leaders, a new wave had rudely interrupted them.
But, no matter, whoever these newcomers were, they would find the might of the Mechanicum more than a match for their primitive contrivances.
Sending a mental signal to her compatriots, she nodded with satisfaction as they fell into position. Let the Orks come. They would fail again and again. Flesh fails, the Machine endures.
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Turn 1: Orks
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Lorilune sighed, watching the Orks howl on their proverbial leash. A long line of green had been set up with Gretchin being used to semi-carefully determine the firing arcs of the various Imperial Guns. A no-man's (or Ork's) land had been drawn up between two massive Manufactorum buildings and although the fumes from the giant Knights could be seen, the machines seemed unwilling to break the impasse.
The Ex-Farseer snorted in disgust. The Mon-Keigh had their primitive tactics. If the Eldar were here, a wave of Hemlock fighters would make short work fo their prepared position. But, then she'd have to deal with the Spiritseers and their incessant droning about the dead and what-not.
Still, it would be an utter lunatic who would dare stick their necks out.
"Gun Da Engines Boyz! We're takin' the fight to those gitz!"
Lorilune turned in surprise to see Grumgutz ordering his forces forwards. The madman.
"Are you... are you joking?!" bellowed the Ex-Farseer. "You're going to get massacred out there. As soon as your attack is blunted then the horde of Mon-Keigh will sweep around the flanks and..."
"Well then," said the Warboss with characteristic calmness, "It's a good fing we got a buncha boyz hoppin' over there right now. That is, if'n my Warphead's worth any teef at all."
Lorilune chuckled at the half-jab, nodding to herself, "Alright. Your point is made. This had better work."
Concentrating, a massive wave of WAARGH! energy flowed through her and into the horde of Boyz milling about. The flare made the Orks quake and every fiber of their being turned into a murderous rage. As they began to stomp their choppas against the ground, Lorilune focused inwards, drawing the energy into a funnel. With a flash, an emerald portal opened, and through it the Orks could see a thin line of very confused looking Guardsmen. The Orks didn't need to be told twice and charged through, bellowing and whirling their crude weapons on the way in.
Nodding to herself, Lorilune let the energy dissipate before it threatened to blow her head off. Perhaps there was a hint of a plan in this madness after all...
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With the Orks going first, I have to see if I can contain the enormous Guardsman horde and also try and put some wounds on the Knights.
I poke the Trukks around the corner with the Bikes and then use Warpath and Da Jump on the furthest Boyz squad to the right flank.
Shooting has me start work on the Gallant, who throws up Rotate Ion Shields. The Mek Guns don't do a whole lot of damage, and the first Trukk of Tankbustas also only takes off a half dozen or so wounds.
So... I end up using MORE DAKKA for exploding 5's and 6's and Showin' Off to shoot twice. With a veritable Squiggoth tonne of Rokkits, the Knight... goes down?
Wha?
I decide to throw some Big Shootas into the Guardsmen, but that's about it.
In Assault, the Evil Sunz boyz show their worth as with the new re-rolls and +1 to assault (re-roll one OR more dice to assault distance is so good), the Boyz easily get stuck in and lose only one Ork. FIVE attacks each times twenty-nine Boyz is... a lot of wounds. Needless to say the thirty Guardsmen that were hanging around the right side of the board are now no longer there.
Picture Caption: They said that it would be overkill on the Knight... Well it's worth the 4 CPs, I'll tell you that.
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Turn 1: Imperial Knights
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"Baronet! I'm hit!"
Baronet Raven looked over her massive shoulder to see her nephew, Oswald and his massive Gallant "The Omnissiah's Wrath" take a volley of crudely made rockets. The weaponry was surprisingly accurate. At least, for Orks.
"Keep yourself together, Oswald. You're sounding like a meat-head."
The reply came back a bit gruff, "Yes... Yes, Baronet, but they're... WHAT iS THAT?"
Ashlyn frowned and tapped into Oswald's sensors. A crudely made Truck carrying a pack of Orks were opening up a massive crate, which was filled to brim with rockets.
"Oswald!" Ashlyn ordered, "Get out of the..."
But, the comms failed as the Tankbustas let go with a massive display of crude, but effective firepower. Orks fired Rokkit Launchers over both shoulders while assistant Grots fed explosives in a display of over-the-top violence.
After the extreme fusillade stopped, Ashlyn fought back a gasp. The Gallant had been nearly torn in half, the head and shoulders torn asunder and fallen in on itself. The once mighty and revered Knight Titan fell to the ground with an earthquake that was only second to the shouts of victory by the Orks.
Ashlyn allowed herself a moment of unnecessary rage. Losing a blood relative was one thing, but the loss of one of the ancient relics of the Omnissiah was another. The massive weapon-arms of her Castellan roared to life as she stepped out of cover. Her machine-spirit growled with a forboding hunger as targeting reticules formed over the filthy barbarians. Their victory would be short lived indeed.
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With Orks on their front porch and Trukks incoming, my opponent decides to just SHOOT EVERYTHING. The Castellan and his little friends pop around the corner.
Lasguns with double-tap orders go into the Boyz in their face, but only 10 or so of them fall!
The Castellan actives the OP Raven Strat and blows up both Tanks with ease. Or rather, with a touch of Armiger support to finish the deal.
I lose a few Tankbustas, but not enough to really make me worry.
Oh, and my opponent tries to get cheeky with shooting a Shieldbreaker Missile at Lorilune, but I activate Grot-Savior Protocols (i.e. the Grot Shield strat) and a handful of Grots bite the dust "saving" their mistress.
Picture Caption: The Grot Shield. Shield Drones, eat your heart out.
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Turn 2: Orks
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Lorilune shook her head at the wasteful display by the Tankbustas. The Bad Moons had a reputation for flagrant and excessive demonstrations of their wealth, and clearly such habits extended to warfare.
However, it was hard to deny their success, as the Ion Shields of the Knight had failed and the machine had fallen almost by weight of explosive. And, she had to admit, it was a kind of balancing by Khaine himself that the Tankbustas were launched into the air moments later by the other, larger and more dangerous Knight. The Orks had fallen for the Imperial trap, and if she did nothing, they would undoubtedly be torn asunder for their arrogance.
She blissfully pondered the possibility of letting Grumgutz fall flat on his face in the field of battle for all to see, and perhaps even taking his role as Warlord. But, in the end, perhaps out of knowledge that although HER Orks called her a Warphead, she did not still technically belong to the Ork tribes without her position as a confidant of Grumgutz.
Sighing, she summoned her powers once more and glanced behind her to see the next batch of Orks waiting for their turn. A smile crossed her lips.
"Let us see how the Mon-Keigh deal with wave two."
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If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I move the Orks up and Warpath/Da Jump the last of my Boyz to the left flank, now sandwiching in the Imperial forces.
I try and shoot the Castellan to no avail (i.e. less than half it's wounds) due to the Rotate strat. The Armiger is still out of range/LoS, so I can't do much.
But, what I can do is mulch the rest of Guard with a mighty assault!
Picture Caption: Meat-shield down, repeat the meat-shield is down!
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Turn 2: Imperial Knights
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"Baronet, we're hemmed in!"
Baronet Raven swore as she turned around to see a horde of Ork to either flank, nearly on top of them. The Guardsmen had fallen like the useless peons they were, and now it was up to her to try and shoot their way out of this mess. Readying her weapons, she targeted them at the vast sea of green.
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Realizing that doom is coming for them, the Knights try a breakout to the right, putting all of their shooting power into the weakened Boyz mob and tear it down.
Some consideration is given attempting assault, but as my other mob has five attacks each, the Armiger decides not to push it's luck.
Picture Caption: Awww... I wanted to try out the Green Tide!
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Turn 3: Orks
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More explosions dotted the surface of the Castellan as the Ions shields held, but some of the damage was going through.
Good enough, thought Warlord Grumgutz Bitzgrabber. Readying his newly made Killa Klaw, torn from the still howling remains of a big choppy Daemon-Kan, the Warlord nodded to the Weirdboy next to him. Axl the Goff Rokker set his Axe to motion and a greenish storm of energy enveloped the Warlord. Vast energy pumped through Grumgutz and the Warlord looked down in satisfaction as every muscle fiber was loaded up with night-omnipotent destruction.
"'Ey You!" yelled the Warlord, pointing at the big Kan that was shooting his Boyz. "I got somefin' I think yer gonna like!"
Gunning his massive Warbike, the Warlord raced forwards, expertly hitting a jump off the ruined remains of the other Knight and plowing directly into the face of the giant Kan. Daemon-infused weaponry and Orkish might went hand in hand for a moment as both recognized the perfectly acceptable alliance of knocking an Imperium Titans flat on it's tuccus. And so it was that the Warlord flew through the Knight like a missile, barely slowing as he hewed through the Adamantium-laden Titan with ease.
Landing with a contemptuous slide, he let the explosion of his giant kill highlight his silhouette against the sky.
"Right," he said, spitting out a tooth or two in the direction of the now cowering remains of the Imperial forces, "Which one of you little gitz is next?"
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I scurry the Grots onto objectives just in case things go belly up in the back of the board. The Boyz surround the Knights and their Guard Commanders.
Shooting has some more wounds taken off the Castellan, who is starting to look a little worse for wear as he doesn't have his 3++ save anymore.
I then drop The Fists of Gork on Grumgutz, who is ready for some beastly krumpin'.
The assault is pretty brutal with one of the Commanders falling and a few wounds on the Armiger, but the Big Show is Grumgutz HANDILY tearing apart the Knight.
With the buffs, he's hitting on a re-rollable 2+, wounding on a re-rollable 2+ with FOUR damage each. Yeah, needless to say, the Knight bites the dust.
Picture Caption: Is this what it feels like to have a Smash Captain?
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Turn 3: Imperial Knights
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The Knights decide to try and play things out, and the Commanders and Armiger do take their pound of flesh, but I end up downing all of the Commanders and the Armiger.
Picture Caption: And that is that.
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Result: Ork VICTORY!
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Post-Game Thoughts: Well, that was brutal. I could have played things a bit smarter and tried to capture a few Guardsmen to prevent shooting, but I just wanted to break some heads. And heads were indeed broken. Screens just fall apart when Boyz hit them and quite frankly, now that they can handily assault out of Da Jump with reliability, the Orks are just really, really good.
The Tankbustas were also SOLID, as they are deadly to even Knights with their double-shot ability and MORE DAKKA.
The Mek Guns were kind of meh, but they were clearly worrisome enough to keep my opponent from sticking his neck out and it will be nice if I ever have to face Eldar.
Grumgutz was also pretty stellar with his massive klaw that just reliably put wounds on Knights and mulches lesser targets.
Lorilune was also hella amazing with her Warphead ability, as it lets me do the two things I need to do with the Boyz mobs (i.e. Warpath and Da Jump) with efficiency.
Overall, I was very happy with the list, although I'm not sure if I need more Boyz or just to play them smarter. Quite frankly, if they're just taking apart Guardsmen, they don't need THAT many attacks, but it is nice to have.
I think I might rotate some parts of the list out to try the more esoteric bits of the Codex as a LOT of it is fun.
Hopefully, this is just the start of a beautiful relationship.
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Epilogue
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Lorilune shook her head as she watched Grumgutz and his Orks divvy up the plunder. They had done it. With some luck and more than a bit of waste, but they had somehow extracted a clean victory from the jaws of defeat.
Yes, she thought to herself, a Victory clearly due her own foresight. After all, the Orks were mere animals, but with a proper and firm hand to guide them, perhaps they could be a force to be reckoned with after all.
"Louie! Louie!"
Lorilune sighed, and saw Big Mek Wingnut dragging something across the sand behind his Warbike.
"What is it, Wingnut?"
Wingnut nodded and Lorilune frowned to see a massive Gorkanaut head, nearly flattened, but still somewhat in one shape.
"Oh, yes, that big idiot," said Lorilune, "At least one good thing came out of all this..."
"Hi Louie," said the head, which made Lorilune swear, "I ain't dead. Ain't dat great? Just kinda flat."
Wingnut nodded, "Yeah, we just need some bitz and we're gonna make 'em even bigger. Now dat da Boss is here, everything's gonna be swell."
"Da Boss is here?" said Bigtoof in shock and awe.
"Dat's right," said Wingnut. "Came right through a portal like Mork hisself and saved us! He's a right proper leader he is."
Scowling, Lorilune said, "We were doing just fine without him."
Wingnut opened and closed his mouth a few times, recalling nearly being flattened not too long ago, but decided not to press his luck. But, then, BigToof spoke.
"Really, Louie? I fought we was losin' real bad. But dat don't matter anyways now dat da real Boss is here. You can stop pretendin' and let things be like old times."
Lorilune growled and Wingnut backed away. "Tell me Ork, have you ever flown?"
BigToof paused and then said, "Naw, not yet... why?"
And it was then that a massive Gorkanaut head shot high into the sky nearly attaining orbital velocity.
All Orks who looked up at the massive inverted comet knew one thing and one thing for certain: Nobody was bigger than Big Louie. Nobody.
