Second Sphere

Hobby Creations => Fluff and Stories => Topic started by: InsaneTD on March 02, 2014, 12:48:38 PM

Title: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 02, 2014, 12:48:38 PM
Some of you know I've been working on a story, some of you may also know I've hit a roadblock and am having trouble getting motivated to write. So I've decided to start doing a short a week. Trying to build a habit of writing. Most of these will be 40K based, though there may be the odd story set in another universe, depending on where I find inspiration. I'll also be cross posting them on my FB account.

Story one. Is that him?

Lieutenant Thorton was looking through one of the scopes his men had brought with them. There were a lot of Greenskins down there. How were they supposed to know which one was the target?
"I think I have him Sir, it's the biggest one we've seen so far." Thorton turned to the specialist with the rifle, "Then take the shot and lets get out of here."

The young trooper and his spotter started going through the ritual that would see them firing the big M40 Bolt Rifle. It wasn't often a non-Space Marine even saw one, let alone got to fire one. But it had been deemed an important enough mission that it had been released to Thorton's squad.

Thorton was getting edgy and jumped when the big rifle fired. The Specialist using it swore and then bit his lip. "Target is down."
"You sure it was the right one?"
"Sir..." Another trooper behind them started to say, "..I don't think it was..."
Thorton turned around and gulped as he looked up at the biggest Ork he had ever seen....

The truk came racing straight at the city walls, every gun and trooper was focused and firing on it as it suddenly sloughed ninety degrees and ran along the wall. Several shots landed on the path it had been taking as it raced away. A large catapult was fired from the back of it, several objects being flung over the wall as the truk slide through another turn and started racing away, this time though, it wasn't so lucky and a Lascanon hit the fuel reserve. The truk exploding in a large fireball and flipping before landing on it's roof.

"General, the remains have been identified as those of Lieutenant Thorton and his men."
"Seems that he failed his mission to kill Thrakka. Though it seems he may have killed Thrakka's favourite Mek and set back production of several battlewagons and a Stompa."
"Well official the mission is a failure but that is still good news."

Edit; Fixed a error.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Mabbz on March 02, 2014, 02:30:39 PM
Well, it got a laugh out of me. Mind if I add it to the rulebook?
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 02, 2014, 02:52:51 PM
The idea was too silly to not aim for comedy. I couldn't do it serious. :P

Sure, no problems. Same deal as the others.

Edit: Anything 40K verse, you can use, anything not 40K, will depend if I want do more with it or not, so ask for those.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 06, 2014, 02:53:21 PM
Devil's Claw.

Tellon had been sitting in the tree for six hours. He knew that there was a Devil in the area, he'd found the nest under the roots and he was waiting for it to return. He heard a noise behind him and drew the steel blade he had been given for the hunt, the noise was one of the very fast breeding prey animals, though even they are deadly, just like the world itself.

Two more hours had passed before he realised the Devil was already standing just in front of the nest. He had heard Devils could move silently but he hadn't believed it until now. It was a large one too, had to be a female one. He wasn't sure he wanted to try taking a female, they were particularly ferocious members of a ferocious species. But he couldn't get out of this tree without fighting her, and he didn't have time now to find another Devil's nest.

He drew his blade as quietly as he could and prepared to jump down. He had to time his jump just right, and land in the right place if he was going to do this. Well, it was now or never.

He landed on the Devil's back, right behind the head, plunging his knife into one of it's eyes. He jumped clear just as the Devil retaliated, hitting itself in the process. He still had his knife as he tried staying in the blind spot he had made. The beast shook it's great head, he had to get under the head and attack the joint between it's armour. It shook it's head again and he charged in, managing to get his knife into the joint in it's neck. He was rewarded with a bellow and a spurt of blood. Tellon wasn't so lucky this time as one of the legs crushed his arm as he rolled away.

He managed to avoid the rest of it's legs as he got up. He saw the pool of blood under it as it stumbled. He was sure he hadn't done enough to put it down yet, yet it looked about to collapse. He wearily watched it for a moment before it stumbled again, and this time it fell to the ground. He quickly raced back in and grabbed his knife, sticking into the beasts other eye. He then jabbed the joined between the Devil's neck and head again, dodging back out of reach.

The Devil groan and then roared weakly. It was lying on it's belly as he approached it again. Tellon shoved his knife into the joint again and sliced along it, he watched as the beasts blood started haemorrhaging from the wound. He moved away and sat down. He used his knife to to cut up his shirt, he had to stop his own arm bleeding or he'd be lying next to the Devil he just killed.

He finished bandaging his arm and got up. The Devil had stopped moving. He pulled the communicator from his belt and activated it, he knew he had half an hour before he would be picked up, so he had time to get the claw he needed.

The bed he was in was the softest he had ever been in and he couldn't get comfortable. Tellon's dad was inspecting the claw he had taken, "The instructors that picked you up said it was the biggest they had seen in the area in the last decade. You're lucky that all it took was your arm."
"I know. I think it hit itself when I first attacked it."
"This will make a fine knife son, you've done well and I'm proud of you."
"Thanks dad."
"Once that arm has healed enough, you'll have a cybernetic grafted to the stump. Once that's done, you'll be recruited into the Guard."
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 11, 2014, 09:36:38 AM

Captain Anastasia was getting angry. She'd be chasing this Athargon craft for half an hour now and still hadn't been able to get close, let alone get a lock on it. Her Harpy fighter was one of the fastest and most manoeuvrable fighters humans had ever made, and yet, the little Arthargon fighter had led her on a merry chase from the original intercept, so far they had been barely missing mountain tops and diving into the valleys in between. Anastasia had noticed the little fighters Ion drive and was worried that if she didn't get it soon, it would have enough of a lead on her to activate the drive and out run her missiles. She wasn't giving up though.

Every chance she got she checked her sensors, making sure no other Athargon fighters were closing on her, last thing she wanted was for the tables to be turned and her the one being chased. She checked her fuel, she still had plenty left and wouldn't have to give up the chase yet, she was worried though, her radio had been disabled in the initial exchange.

She watched as the enemy fighter barely missed a ridge ahead of her and over corrected, now was her chance. The targeting computer droned when it achieved target lock and she caressed the trigger, sending the missile after the running Athargon fighter. She was sure it was about to connect when the enemy fighter sidestepped. She was getting really tired of the manoeuvrability of the enemy fighters.

That was when she heard the alarm, someone had a lock on her. The sensors were telling her that an enemy fighter was closing from above. She dived into the next valley and swung to race down it's length, the new enemy fighter and the one she had been chasing following her. The alarm tone changed as both enemy fighters started firing on her. She swore as she rolled her fighter around the next cliff, only to see she had turned into glacial canyon. Her only option was to go up and she pulled back on the stick, her craft screaming as it started to climb.

The rounds from the enemy Coil Guns went straight through the wings of her fighter, destroying the control surfaces of both wings. She knew then that she was in trouble, there wasn't a chance she'd get her Harpy away from the enemy fighters, let alone back to a friendly base. She sighed as she grabbed the ejection handle and ripped it up, sending the canopy and then her seat skyward. Just in time to see more rounds impact the engines of her fighter, detonating in a large fireball.

Three hours later she couldn't help but smile as she watched the Valkyrie S&R Craft descend towards her. The rest of her squadron was flying overwatch and she waved up at them, though they probably couldn't see her. The flight back to the base was tense as a pair of contacts kept appearing on the very edges of the flights radar.

A little taste of the world I'm starting to build for a story I'm working on and I might develop this more at a later date.

Edit; fixed some grammar and spelling errors.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 14, 2014, 05:55:43 AM
Lieutenant McAdams was sitting in the tower looking out of the airfield. The flight of Garuda heavy bombers was making it's approach after making the thirty kilometre descent from the orbiting ship. They were one of the few human aircraft capable of reaching orbit by themselves. He checked his board and saw there was also supposed to be three of the Pegasus dropships bringing the new fighter replacements. Though they weren't due for another hour.

Twenty minutes later, McAdams looked up from his paperwork as heard an emergency call come over the radio. He swore as he picked up the base PA, "All emergency units, to ready stations. This is not a drill, Repeat, all emergency units, To ready stations." One of the Garuda bombers had two of it's four engines out and was having hydraulic problems as well.

He pulled out his binoculars and looked in the direction the the bomber was supposed be approaching from, it was the last one in the line and was trailing smoke as it came in. Not good. It was at this point he saw a flash and another call came over the radio. "Mayday, mayday, mayday. We have lost a third engine and have to land now." McAdams watched as the two Garudas in front of it pulled out of their approaches, all of the bases emergency vehicles were moving out onto the field, ready to take action once the bomber was on the ground.

The lieutenant watched the large bomber struggle to stay air born. It was lower then it should of been at this point in it's approach, but if they could keep it in the air, they should still land safely. That's when he saw the flock of local water birds take off. The airfield had been build on a large island in the middle of some swampland. The incoming bomber had disturbed them and they had taken off into the path of the bomber. One of those getting sucked into the last engine would kill the heavy Garuda as surely as enemy action at this point.

McAdams held his breath as he watched the birds suddenly turn and move out of the way of the bomber. He breathed out and watched the stricken bomber as it finished it's approach, it was going faster then it should but the runway it was coming in on was built for the even larger Pegasus Dropships, it had plenty of room to stop. The bomber touched down heavily on the run way, then settled onto it's landing gear as it started slowing down. McAdams watched as it finally came to a stop barely on the very end of the run way, the emergency vehicles swarming it was it did. He sighed as he started getting all the paperwork out. It was going to be a long night now.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 14, 2014, 06:28:58 AM
The Tanker

Sergeant Callihan was getting tired of sitting in the Centurion tank as it rumbled over the field towards the target. He wasn't looking forward the coming battle. The Athargon weapons where more then capable of dealing with even the heavy armour of the Centurion. Still, at least he wasn't in a Legionary AFV like the ground troops with them. He'd heard that even the bullpup carbines the enemy used could penetrate those hulls.

He scanned the area in front of the tank as it approached the base, he could just see it through the trees. The bad news? The Athargon could see him as well. The hull of the tank rang like a bell as it was received a glancing hit. The good news? The ballistics computer had tracked the round and was giving him a firing solution. he called for the tank to stop as he swung the turret around and fired. There was a loud boom as the heavy laser superheated the air in it's path. Seconds after the laser had fired, the driver had started the tank moving again. Callihan was rewarded with a large explosion and some lightening where his target had been, he must of hit one the capacitors for the enemy emplacement.

He checked the battlefield computer and it showed that two of the other Centurions and one of the Legionary AFVs hadn't been so lucky, the marks showed them as disabled. Though it also showed 5 of six enemy positions as destroyed or disabled. He sighted back down the weapon scope and swung the turret around, loosing rounds from the coaxial machine gun as he did. At this range it didn't do much but did help keep a few heads down on the other side.

He spotted an enemy vehicle moving between some buildings and started tracking it, calling a halt as he did. The enemy tank appeared in a gap in the buildings of the base and he fired the laser again. He hit the enemy vehicle squarely and watched it stop. He could see that the turret ring had melted and welded the turret to the hull, not a kill but definitely an advantage. The firing symbol started flashing on his HUD again and he fired again, this time the enemy tank caught fire and he watched the Athargon tankers climbing out of the dead tank.

An hour later saw the Sergeant climbing out of his tank. They had successfully taken the base and he was looking forward to stretching his legs. He noticed a couple buildings on fire and walked over the investigate. It was where the first tank he had killed had been. The tank itself was still burning well and had set the buildings on either side on fire.

I'm thinking about posting some of these on other sites. Those of you with FB know I also post them on there.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: The Allfather on March 20, 2014, 02:48:18 AM
My only real issue is that you keep starting the stories almost exactly the same way. So-and-so was... was... was... its all very samey. It kind of works if you're introducing an ensemble of characters by using vignettes from the same battlefield, but even then its a stretch. Try starting with different descriptors. Maybe fill out surroundings before you introduce a character. There's also a few minor grammar issues, but pretty good stuff so far.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 20, 2014, 06:06:56 AM
Thank's AF, I hadn't realized I was doing that. I'm trying to improve my grammar, after ten odd years since I last did English at school.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Narric on March 22, 2014, 04:30:08 PM
OK dude, get ready for some honest to goodness backloginess feedback :P

"Is That Him?"
I have to admit, this was a nice little story, and i could totally imagine the look of horror on the Lieutenant's face when Thrakka "snuck up" on him and his unit. The second to last paragraph seems a little off however. I think with a simple "three days later" it would give the scene a little bit of sense. Currently it almost feels like you started writing something else.

The piece as a whole is still a fun read.

"Devil's Claw"
The first paragraph doesn't seem to flow right. I'm not sure if its content or structure that makes it not flow. The second half of it is where the flow seems to go strange.
Paragraph two almost sounds like he's looking to breed with the "Devil." Obviously not the intent, but tweaking the wording coul;d negate that issue.
There is some grammer issues in the later paragraphs. Mostly present and Past tense issues.
The final paragraph again feels like there should be a comment about how much time has passed.

The story feels there isn't enough suspense for what the story seems to want. The fight feels to quick and easy, with the later comment of the Devil being "the biggest they had seen in the area in the last decade." making it seem like either the Boy/man is increadibly skilled, or the devils aren't that great of an issue to begin with.

Not a bad piece, but it could use some more work.

Opening senteance needs more to it. "becoming frustrated" lends the later sentences more meaning, and makes the character sound less Raw emotional.

This story has a great sense of build up, however the finale is a little bit lacklustre. It will be interesting to see how the world it is part of plays out, and to know what the conflict between the Humans and "Arthargon" is for.

A pretty good story, though It think you could really up the tension and suspense by drawing the dogfight out longer and having this Captain win. Otherwise she is just going back to base to explain  how and why she wasted resources.

"Lieutenant McAdams Story"
This starts off well. The second paragraph has a little trip up when you missed "He" in the line: "McAdams looked up from his paperwork as HEheard an emergency call come over the radio."

In paragraph three, you should start a new line when the message comes over the radio. It emphasises the importance of the message. Paragraph four the word struggle should be struggled. small grammer error but makes sense hopefully ;) In the same paragraph, sentence four, build should be built.

Overall, the suspense is just right. I'm sure any person who has worked in Flight control of any airport can tell similar stories.

"The Tanker"
Despite it being some sort of raid/take over, it feels very relaxed. I don't think it needs much changing beyond some grammer errors, but thats within reason when it comes to writing :P

Hope that helps, and I look forward to what you do next ^_^
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 24, 2014, 09:07:29 AM
Thanks for that Narric. My grammar does need some work and tense use is something I need to work on as well.

Is That Him. I'm edit that in soon.

Devil's Claw. I need to do a lot to that story.

Dogfight. I enjoyed writing that one, though I'm not sure I really showed why she was getting frustrated. The enemy fighters have a couple advantages over human fighters. They manoeuvre better then human fighters and are faster in a straight line. Bit hard to get all that info across in a short without just making it a short technical brief.

McAdams Story. Hopefully I didn't make any terrible errors to how the procedures are actually done. :P  I'll edit those changes in, thanks.

The Tanker. I wasn't really trying to make it tense as much as introduce a bit more of the world and a character I might work with more later on. I had originally planned for him to lose his tank, I'm not sure what happened there.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: BigToof on March 25, 2014, 11:05:49 PM
I actually liked all 4 stories because of their similarities.
I thought you were going to the characters together somehow...

In any case, hope to see more and great work!

Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 26, 2014, 07:17:02 AM
I very well might. The first two are actually 40k stories so they will stay seperate one offs. The rest might end up being a series of shorts about the war. We'll see as I write more.

P.S. I should have a new story up in a day or two. I'm currently looking for story ideas. :P Might do a story about a Infantryman next.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on March 27, 2014, 10:01:58 AM
Bit of background. This story is set in a DnD game I tried running. it ended up falling apart before it even got very far. It's a pretty standard DnD world with some stuff stolen from The Shannara Chronicles, which is the ships. Most of the ships are flying sailing vessels of various types. In the series, they are a product of technology in a Fantasy setting. In this world, they are Magically held aloft and can be produced as quickly as a sea going vessel if you know how.

The Emerald Rose.

The Emerald Rose. Such a pretty name. Yet it's a name is whispered in the few black ports left on the coast. Those pirates that have seen it are rare. For battles between the Pirates and The Emerald Rose tend to be at over a 1000 feet. A drop none have ever survived. The only pirate crew  to ever survive an encounter with The Emerald Rose is the crew of The Aeronimity.

The Emerald Rose was sitting on the surface of the melt ice lake, high in the mountains know as the Goblin's Range. It's not often the Sky Ships of Enellon touched water, most places having a dock on a handy hill. In this case the crew of The Emerald Rose were fishing, swimming and fishing off the starboard bow of the ship. The deep russet and emerald coloured hull being reflected on the sapphire of the lake. The lake was surrounded by old growth forests and steep mountains capped in ice.

The Aeronimity had moved up the valley for the same reasons and hadn't expected to see The Emerald Rose sitting on the lake. Captain Andor Brandt ordered his crew to their stations as he bought The Aeronimity lower, ready to attack the The Emerald Rose. Bow, ballista and catapult were readied as the crew of The Rose scrambled back aboard their vessel. Captain Tanek Damewood was urging his men back on board and to their stations as they readied to take flight.

The Aeronimity was the first to let fly as it came into range. The Emerald Rose just lifting from the water as the catapult shot rained from above. Most fell in the lake, spraying water over The Rose as it took flight. A lucky round found it's mark, ripping off part of the portside rigging.

There was a sudden roar as the wind around The Emerald Rose whipped up, causing the famous ship to leap forward and away from the rain of arrows and shot. The Rose climbed hard and fast as it's crew readied the ship's own weapons. They loosed their on catapult shot and ballista bolt, one of which tore a jagged hole in the side of The Aeronimity.

The two ships duelled fiercely above the mountain lake. Diving and climbing as they exchanged fire. Sail was torn and hull cracked open. Men fell to their death and others were impaled or crushed.

The sun was setting as The Emerald Rose landed a lucky hit. Catapult shot had hit the Mast of The Aeronimity. Cracking the base and causing it to fall. The stricken vessel quickly started spiralling down to the water below. Followed by The Rose pelting it with shot and bolt. The Aeronimity hit the water with a mighty splash and started listing almost immediately. The jagged holes ripped in the side of the Aeronimity letting water in.

The Emerald Rose hovered over the sinking vessel for a while before setting off down the valley, the lights of the vessel fading into the night.

The change of pace has been caused by my listening to the following band. I couldn't help but laugh and smile as I listened to the music and it reminded my of the crew of The Emerald Rose.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on April 17, 2014, 10:43:32 AM
First Contact.

The air was filled with the staccato sounds of hypersonic rounds from coil guns and the whip crack of lasers. A smell of ozone and wood smoke was filling the air as flames licked at the trees. People were screaming, some from pain, others calling for help or hurling abuse. Wild Bill looked around, trying to work out how to get out of this Charlie Foxtrot of a situation.

He couldn't understand what was happening, why did these aliens start firing on his squad? They hadn't done anything threatening. He looked at his squad as they hide behind the trees, boulders and depressions that littered the area. They had come out with only light equipment, not expecting to be fired on as they approached what he now considered the enemy position. The craft had crashed in the middle of the forest they were now fighting for their lives in.

His radio crackled as the message from high command came through, reinforcements were on their way and his squad was to attempt to break contact and retreat if possible. He signalled his squad, both over the radio and with hand signals. Something about the enemy craft seemed to be interfering with their radios.

They had managed to break contact and were moving well when the staccato sound of the hypersonic rounds broke the quiet. The enemy had managed to get ahead of them and was now springing an ambush. His squad, well trained as they were, dived for cover. He still lost two more soldiers to the enemy fire.

He was shouting orders to his squad when they heard a deep rumbling sound and the booming hiss of large bore lasers. Three Praetorian Battle Tanks and several Centurion IFVs rolled out of the scrub to his left. The enemy turned to this new threat and started firing. Two of the Centurions stopped as the hypersonic rounds went straight through the armour and the hulls of the Praetorians rang like church bells as the rounds reflected off the heavier armour.

The fighting had gone into the night, the humans trying to withdraw and the aliens ambushing them. It wasn't until they got to the edge of the forest that they were able to completely break contact and retreat. They had lost all the centurion IFVs and one of the Praetorians, and most of the infantry that had gone into the forest.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Narric on April 17, 2014, 06:30:53 PM
Some things I noticed, mostly spelling mistakes, but also a few places were the wording kind of trips up the flow. You'll probably have to compare to your original write-up to see what I've changed :P Just my opinion on how the wording should go ;)

The Emerald Rose
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Fantastic piece dude. The skill of the Rose crew feels a bit underplayed, however, by saying it was luck that downed the Pirate craft.

First Contact
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Thouygh it ends a little darkly, its still a pretty good piece. the few changes i made are mostly to avoid needing that huge gap, and make it feel like a constant piece of narrative, rather than a person having to stop and think, or breath :P

Looking forward for more ;)
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on April 17, 2014, 11:09:12 PM
The Emerald Rose, you have to remember, these are highly agile ships, shooting each other volley you're weaponry for the most part. It takes as much luck and skill to land catapult shot in this case. I do like the changes otherwise. I need to actually save these to my computer so I can start editing them.

First Contact. Yeah, it does. It's kinda meant too, it's the opening shots of the war. This may get expanded on to become a more full story or the opening chapters of another novel. People keep distracting me while I was writing it too so that probably doesn't help the flow.

You keep this up and I might start PMing you my stories to beta for me. :P The main reason I'm writing these is so I can work on these issues and become a better writer.

Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on May 09, 2014, 09:02:37 AM
The Road.

The only noise Joe could hear as the tank moved past was a low whirring and the rattle of the treads. He had to give it to the Athargon, they were quiet. The tank quickly disappeared around the bend of the road, "Well shit Sarge, how are we supposed to know when they are coming if we can't hear them?"
"Well Westfall, you and Pyro can head down to the corner and watch what's coming down the road. Landes and Wilkins can go to the one the tank just went around can watch out that way." Joe quipped back. He heard John Westfall mumbling as he and Pryo quickly moved off down the road. The spotters quickly radioed they were in position and things were clear and the rest of the of the squad quickly got back to work. Why Command wanted this section of road destroyed Joe didn't know, but he knew his squad would get it done.

They were just finishing up when Landes radioed to him, "Tanks coming Sarge, four and counting. Be at the corner in two minutes."
"Pull back to the fall back point and wait for us. Pyro, John, you too." He turned to the men packing their kit's away, "Hurry up, we're going to blow this road and fall back. Set the timer for 5 minutes." Joe grabbed his gear and watched the rest of his squad start moving away from the road. He looked up the corner and saw the first tank come around it as he entered the trees on the side of the road, "Sarge, this convoy is still coming, it's a major movement. Current count is 20 tanks, no infantry or transports yet."
"Terri, I told you to move, the road is going to blow in less then 5 minutes and we don't want to be around when they start looking for the cause. Now move it, that's an order!"
"Roger that Sarge, moving now."

The squad was moving fast when they heard the explosion. They had mined a five hundred metre section of road and explosion was actually several sets of charges detonating in sequence. There was several secondary explosions as well. "Sounds like we caught part of the convoy in that one Sarge."
"That's why I set the timer for five minutes and not 5 hours like I was supposed to Wilkins" Joe replied, "But that means they are going to be looking for us, Keep your eyes open and keep moving to the fall back point."

They had rendezvoused at the fall back point when they heard a dozen crashes in the distance. "Sounds like they are bring the tanks through the forest to chase us down Sarge."
"No shit Captain Obvious. How about you set a couple of those firebombs I know you are carrying and we leave them a small surprise Pryo." Joe retorted. Pyro threw one to Landes and they both quickly set them up before the squad started moving for the LZ. Joe tapped a couple buttons on his PAD and Started speaking into his radio, "Valkyrie Two-Five, Valkyrie Two-Five, this is Council Worker, Come in over."
"Council Worker this is Two-Five. Can I assume that bang I just saw was you? Over."
"Sure was Two-Five, you'll see another one soon. Seems the Athargon decided to move a convoy down that road, we blew it early and now have company. Might need to call in the flyboys over."
"Copy that Council Worker, Sending Intel and request up the chain now. ETA to LZ is ten minutes. You boys better move fast over."
"Copy that Two-Five. We should be at the LZ in ten. Hopefully the small surprise we left will slow down the tangos. Over and out."

The Valkyrie touched down just as the squad entered the LZ. They quickly moved to the transport and got on board, a flare could just be seen in the distance. "Seems they aren't moving that quick Sarge."
"They'll be moving even slower now Pyro. Good to see you Two-Five, better get us out of here."
"Trust me, we're going to move. Got word just before we touched down, a pair of Garudas and a flight of Harpies are inbound. What ever is down here is about to get a very rude shock and I don't want to be around when it happens." Joe couldn't agree more as the Valkyrie took off.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Narric on May 09, 2014, 10:26:54 AM
Its a good read, but feels to be missing a chuck on story. That could just be the time gap at the final paragraph.

The dialogue seems a little choppy. I'd recommend you start a new paragraph whenever someone talks, as the dialogue just emlts into everything else. There are also points where the speaker changes who they're talking to, and without a small break such as (the command turned to the pilot) it seems like the character just talks to people without looking at them, or even if they're anywhere near them.

Thats just my thoughts :P ;)
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on May 31, 2014, 03:21:49 AM

It was just before dawn and the sky was dark and clear. Stars could be seen clearly in the sky, while the horizon was just starting to colour. The Emerald Rose was carefully moored to a couple trees deep in the valley. The men on watch were shuffling and stamping their feet, trying to stay warm and alert. The mountains in this region were know for their monsters and bandits. A tall man appeared on deck from below, and moved to the edge of the ship. He lowered the rope ladder like he had ever morning and started climbing down. A couple crew members turned to look and watched him climb down. He'd insisted to be allowed off the Rose every morning before dawn.

He quickly found a small clearing on a hill with a view down the valley to horizon the sun would appear from. He sat cross-legged facing the sunrise and started mediating. Five wolves walked into the clearing and sniffed at him as they went past but paid him no heed. The sun crested the horizon and the light fell on his face inside his robes, though anyone looking at him would of never known, the robes magically obscuring his face from view.

He had been there for an hour when a rustling sound caught his attention. "Thou are a shite ninja Cat."
"Few can sneak up on a druid in nature."
The druid smiled within his hood before replying, "That is true but I wouldn't have needed my abilities to here you coming."
Wisely, the Catperson let the matter slide, "The captain is eager to get under way, he says there will be a storm tonight. A bad one."
The druid sighed before standing up, "Yes, I can feel it coming. Hopefully we can make our destination before it reaches the mountains."

They walked back to the ship in silence, the forest was still quiet and few animals were around. The sounds of the crew preparing the ship became louder and louder as they neared were it had been moored for the night. The Ninja breaking into a sprint and launching himself half way up the rope ladder, catching it deftly and climbing the rest of the way quickly. The Druid kept walking calmly towards the vessel. He started climbing the rope ladder only to feeling it start to rise with him. He looked up to see both the catman and the fighter he was travelling with pulling on the ladder. He held on and let them pull it up.

"I am more then capable of climbing up by myself."
"We know." Purred the Ninja, "But we needed the exercise." His grin was wide enough to show his fangs. The human merely grunted before heading below.

Doesn't feel complete but if I keep going it's going to become a mini novel. Plus I didn't actually have a plot. I just wanted to write something with a bit of descriptive text. Though I didn't end up doing much describing. :P
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on June 23, 2014, 08:20:24 AM
Point of View.

The fighter banked steeply before rolling over into a dive, the pilot pushing the throttles forward, igniting the afterburner. The altimeter started counting backwards, quickly becoming a blur. The tone in his ear informed him the fighter had a lock on the Athargon fighter. He launched two missiles before pulling back on the stick. The fighters speed carried it down past the burning wreck of the enemy fighter before finally levelling out and then climbing again.


The Athargon throw his fighter into a roll as it reacted to it's wing mate's fighter exploding. The scream of the Human fighter passing the nose of it's own fighter was deafening compared to the engine of it's own fighter. It pulled out of the roll and swung around to follow the Human craft. It would have revenge for it's fallen wing mate.


The warning tone alerted him to the fact the second Athargon fighter had survived the brief encounter and was coming after him. He continued climbing, making sure the throttles were still firewalled. He pulled the stick back as the tone changed to a warble, the enemy fighter having a lock on his craft. He rolled the fighter as it began to dive again...


These humans were crazy it decided as it made sure it's fighter was lined up. The twin coilguns screaming as rounds flew at the human craft...


Shit. He swung the stick one way, pushing the rudder controls in the opposite direction to put it in a dangerous roll, just a couple seconds longer...


The human trooper looked up just in time to see both fighters explode high above. Contrails connecting both craft to each other and the path both had taken. It looked like it had been quiet a show.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on June 25, 2014, 04:51:35 AM

Mud, water and shrapnel rained down on Joe as he sat in his foxhole. It was one of the rare times his squad was on the frontline and not behind them. He poked his head over the rim of the foxhole, he could just see the Athargon frontline. The roar of a couple of dozen big Praetorian MBTs and twice as many Centurion IFV half a kilometer back behind a series of hills. The rumble of the motors echoing up and down the lines. Dozens of Harpies and Athargon fighters screamed overhead in a massive melee dogfight. Dozens of ground based SAMs and Athargon AAA helped make the skies a dangerous place or both sides. Didn't help on the ground either in Joe's opinion as another fighter crashed down in no man's land, more mud and shrapnel raining down.

Joe looked up as a series of whistling sounds started. The Harpies had temporarily cleared the skies as the Garuda's started a bombing run on the enemy trenches. A dull roar like a freight train started coming closer from the Joe's left. It constantly grew in volume as it got closer, sounding like an angry Thunder God as it went past. Joe heard his radio click and then a message came through, "All squad leaders, prepare to attack."
The roar as the Praetorians and Centurions came over the hill seemed insignificant after the Garuda's bombing run, but it still rattled Joe's bones. He signalled to the squad in the foxhole with him to get ready and everyone started checking their weapons and equipment.

They all climbed out of their foxholes after the tanks raced past, weapons screaming like angry gods. There wasn't much of the Athargon's frontlines left after the bombing run, but they had reinforcements coming up from behind their lines. Joe saw several Harpies dive and strafe the enemy armour. The squad quickly jumped out of the foxhole and got behind the nearest tanks. The tanks armour started ringing as enemy troops fired on the advancing human vehicles. Joe's squad started looking around the sides of the tanks and firing themselves.

Several whip like cracks sounded as Athargon tanks started firing on the humans. A Praetorian exploded, the energy in the broken capacitors releasing in a spectacular pyrotechnic display and the tank started burning. One round went through two Centurions, both stopping, the second one covered in the blood of the poor troops in the first one, a trail leading out from the second.

The tank finally reached what was left of the Athargon lines and Joe's squad dropped into them, they had been tasked with finding any Intel in the area. Two Athargon soldiers broke out of hidden walls and Joe fired on both, his laser carbine spewing the single charge cells as the bolts impacted the enemy body armour. At such close range, it did little to dissipate the energy and both dropped, one squeezing the trigger on it's rifle as it fell. The round tore through Joe's left shoulder and he spun as he dropped to the ground. Joe pushed himself into a sitting position against the trench wall. He called for a medic over his radio as two of his squad started seeing to his shoulder, the rest of the squad moving forward through the rest of the trench, Pyro leading the way with his plasma torch.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Narric on June 25, 2014, 08:13:44 AM
Definately like Frontlines ;) Sunrise is interesting, as its not clear if its before or after the previous story involving the Emerald Rose. I assume if its after they've had tieme to make repairs?

Paragraph two of Point of View needs a little work ;) Though it is only my opinion.
"The Athargon threw his fighter into a roll as it reacted to it's wing mate's fighter exploding. The scream of the Human fighter passing the nose his own fighter was deafening compared to the engine of it's own fighter. He pulled out of the roll and swung around to follow the Human craft. He would have revenge for his fallen wing mate."

Other than that, good stuff ^_^
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on June 25, 2014, 08:48:04 AM
I actually used it/it's on purpose, I didn't want to list a sex for the Athargon. Your right about that sentence, I'll fix that, eventually. :P

Sunrise could be either. So far, each story in that universe had been a stand alone.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on July 16, 2014, 10:54:00 AM
City Fight.

The building exploded out onto the street as the Athargon tank dueled with the Praetorian. The Athargon seemed to know exactly where the Praetorian was and Sergeant Callihan was both worried and annoyed. So far the Athargon had continued to miss but his crew hadn't hit it either. The city had only received minor damage until this attack but the humans needed it. Now, fires raged in several sectors and some buildings were on the verge of collapse.

The Praetorians turret tracked to where the Athargon tank had fired from but it had already moved. Callihan swore as the Praetorian lurched into motion again as another section of wall exploded outward. The wall on the other side of the street exploded inwards, the hypersonic round from the Athargon tank continuing through several more walls before finally embedding itself in the ground.The building between the dueling tanks groaned as rubble fell to the ground.

The Praetorian moved up to the next building before creating a new alleyway. Hopefully they could surprise the Athargon tank when they exited the building. They didn't, the wall just in front of them shattered as a round skipped off the front armour. The tank shifted about and the hull rang like a bell from the impact. The tank pushed it's way through the rubble that was the wall and raced into the street, the turret tracking as soon as it was clear. The target fired again, missing completely, it started moving as the laser in the Praetorian's turret fired. The wall behind the Athargon tank exploded as the moisture in the wall superheated. Callihan ordered his crew to stop and reverse their course as the enemy fired again. Callihan couldn't figure out how the Athargon was tracking them through the buildings.

His radio crackled as one of his squadron mates messaged him, "Callihan, we're heading your way, should be there in five."
"Roger that, be careful though, this guy is tracking through buildings." Two against one should even the odds he thought as the hull rang again from another glancing blow. The building between the two groaning as it started to collapse. The Praetorian raced away from the collapsing building, trying to not get caught in the rubble.

"Whoa! You weren't kidding about this guy tracking through buildings!"
Callihan looked at his battlefield display and looked at where his squadron mate was, the display said the Athargon tank was between the two tanks, not the best place to be. "Rang your hull did he? Done that to me a couple times. I should be able to take a shot if you keep him distracted."
"Roger that, just don't take too long"

The Praetorian roared as they smashed their way through the intervening building. They came out of the wall and slammed into the Athargon tank, pushing it into the next building. "Whoops. Guess he moved." The Praetorian started reversing as the laser started tracking as the tango broke free of the building and accelerated down the street. "Not this time." The laser fired, striking the Athargon tank squarely, melting through the rear armour and puncturing the capacitor banks for the magnetic accelerator. The energy arcing all over the tank and to the ground as it started to burn. Callihan smiled before activating his radio, "Tango down, who needs help?"

Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on July 18, 2014, 08:55:06 AM

Klaxons blared as the crew of the Mining Vessel MV-602, Yawning Maw, raced to their stations. The helmsman slammed the ship sideways using every thrusters he could. The crew inside slammed into walls and each other at the sudden movement. The vessel dwarfed the unknown ship that just appeared from the FTL window. Both ships were manoeuvring to avoid each other now. The smaller vessel was far more agile then the mining barge, but in the tight confines of the asteroid belt, there wasn't much room.

The smaller vessel flashed past every window on the port side of the mining vessel. The crew of the Yawning Maw were starting to pick themselves and thanking their lucky stars to only be part of a near miss and not a collision this far out. The nearest vessel was their sister ship The Barnacle, which was several AU away spinward in the same belt. The unknown craft wasn't so lucky though. While it had managed to avoid the MV-602, it clipped an asteroid while trying to recover from the sudden manoeuvre and was venting atmosphere and fuel.

The small ship managed to avoid hitting any more asteroids and headed towards the only habitable planet in the system. The craft barely survived re-entry, leaving a trail of smoke and a sonic boom that broke windows in settlements it past over. It crashed into a forest on the largest mountain range, on the south eastern continent, not far from Ormill. The capital of the human colonies...
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on July 29, 2014, 01:39:18 PM
Black Dawn.

The wonder drug. That's what everyone was calling it. The latest chemical concoction to save humanity. Everyone thought big pharmaceutical would be the ones to find it, but it actually came from some barely funded little lab, researching some little known disease. It cured the disease. And as always seems to happen, someone who had the disease and some other ailment, was cured of both. Which of course, caused more people to take it, one of them had something else as well. Well before you knew it, every research group, think tank and lab was researching what this drug, which was supposed just be a cure for one little known illness, could do.

It had another side effect, one everyone who took was very interested in keeping to themselves. It didn't just cute every virus know to man, plus a couple other types of infection, it also made them heal faster. Not just healing a cut in a day instead of a week kinda deal. People were regrowing muscle, bones, one even regrew an eye. Once this was found, it quickly find it's way onto the black market. Of course, the kinda people who sell these drugs off the books, aren't the most creative, the drug itself was a black chemical, and it was the dawn of a new age of health.

Black Dawn was the largest growing market, both legally, and illegally. It took a surprisingly long time for someone on the drug to actually die. A bike accident. Poor bastard was side swiped riding to work, came off the bike and landed on the side walk. How do you die from that you ask? A glass window was being replaced on the third story, one of the guys installing it lost his grip and then it was falling. Everyone calls Bullshit on that story but it's true. Talk about bad luck. Every newspaper, blogger and tv network carried the story for a week. And then it gets stranger.

You see, he didn't stay dead. Day of his funeral, guy starts breathing again. Didn't wake up though. Not long after that, two dozen more people were all in the same ward, all alive after dying, all breathing on their own but all appeared brain dead. Another month and hospitals all over the globe were dedicated to looking after the living dead. A month later, the unimaginable happened, the first guy woke up. He sat up in his bed, and promptly attacked the nurse that came to check on him.

Wasn't long after that they all started waking, but none of them were themselves. They acted more like dogs with rabies. That was two years ago. Most everyone who took it is dead now. See they are attracted to those who've had it. No-one I've spoken to can figure that one out. There are still some small communities around the place. People who survived, walled up their towns, the odd wack job compound, I even heard about a group living on an aircraft carrier. Anything that might keep the zombies from getting in.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Narric on July 29, 2014, 05:28:32 PM
These three are your best yet in my opinion ;) If you feel like sketching, I'd definately want to model the tanks ;)

Now for critism :P

City Fight
P1, last senteance: "....and done buildings were...."
Did you mean "and dozens of buildings were" ?

You use "As" an awful lot. I'm sure there are other examples. Try to use different words to extend a sentence. A good replacement for "as" could be "whilst."

The story as a whole feels the perfect level of intense. I could also easily imagine the scenes playing out, and I'm sure some design sketchs for the tanks could improve that for everyone ;)

This feels very prequel to all the other Human vs Athargon stories. Will it be expanded upon?

Again, an exceptionally good piece, even for the length.

Black Dawn
Script the movie, now ;)
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on July 29, 2014, 11:30:27 PM
City fight, nope, some is the word I wanted., I'll fix that later. I didn't actually proof read that one. Yeah, I do use some words to much, it's how i think.

Impact, that's exactly what it is. :P it's the direct prequel to another story.

Black Dawn, it's a background setting for a game I've been working on for a couple years.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on July 30, 2014, 12:27:38 PM
Never bring a Knife to a Gunfight.

The smell of smoke hung in the air as Terri made her way through the tunnel. She'd been separated from the rest of her squad when something had impacted the front of the building she had been about to enter. That promptly slid down into the road, which had been damaged in the earlier fighting and collapsed, dropping her into the underground. Her rifle had been partially buried and damaged by the rubble leaving her with just her knives. Landes was glad she had snuck her extra knives past Joe when they had geared up back at barracks.

Carefully, she climbed a ladder leading up to another level of the subway system. She had seen signs of the Sparkies but hadn't run into them so far. A crackling sound told her that her luck had just ran out and she quickly dived into a service closet. Several more crackling noises where heard and and she fought not to scream after a shock passed through the door handle, in to her elbow. Once she was sure she wasn't going to cry out, she carefully tested the elbow. The noise had stopped and she carefully cracked the door open, when nothing attacked, she crept out. Moving in the direction the noises had gone.

The combat knife whispered from the scabbard and Terri enjoyed the weight and balance of the weapon. Checking carefully around a corner, she saw two of the Sparkies standing halfway down the hall. She wasn't going to sneak up on these two down the corridor. One was standing on one side facing her, while the other was a meter and a half in front of the first, looking the other way. Both could clearly see each other and the corridor. There was whip crack sound and a spark leap from one of the Sparkies onto a nearby pipe.

Back around the corner, Terri looked up at the piping and conduits attached to the ceiling. She quickly figured she could get up there and crawl along it. Jumping, she caught the pipe just as there was another snapping noise and her hands tingled for a moment. The pipe was cold under her hands as she pulled herself up onto it. The cable run next to the pipe was wide enough she could crawl along it. It wasn't long before the first Sparky was underneath her and she drew two combat knifes. Carefully slipping one up her sleeve, she then moved off the run and over the creature. They are bloody big, Landes thought just before letting herself drop.

The unexpected weight forced the big monster to it's knees and Terri whipped her arm forward. The thrown knife didn't get passed the gorget around the Sparkies neck but it did surprise it long enough for her to pull the hidden blade from her sleeve. She jammed it under the shoulder holding the Sparky's Mag Rifle and she swung both the arm and the weapon to point at the Monster that was just recovering.

Three whip cracks sounded and resounded in the cramped corridor as the Mag Rifle fired. The first round punched through the Arthargon's chest, the second through it's neck and the last impacted the ceiling. Terri was still moving and pulled her last combat knife, hidden in her boot. She'd dropped to the ground as she had pulled the trigger on the Mag Rifle and slammed the blade into the Sparky's back, slicing the spine. The big creature finished dropping to the ground and then tried swiping her with it's good arm. Landes, had already launched herself towards the already dead Arthargon and picked up it's rifle. "Benny could probably use this better then me", Terri mumbled as she hefted the weapon and pulled the trigger. Another trio of whip cracks echoed up and down the corridor again as the first Sparky had parts of him blown through the floor into the level below.

Terri laid still on her back where she had been thrown by firing the Mag Rifle and listened as the echoes died away. She couldn't hear anyone running or any shouting. Climbing to her feet, she pulled her knives from the corpses and then collected the pistols from both. She made it the rest of the way through the tunnels and was relieved when her radio crackled back to life. "Landes is still missing?"
"Yes Sarge, hope she didn't get buried by that building."
"Landes? Buried? We wouldn't be that lucky."
"I love you too Pyro. Now why don't you shut up and let me tell you bastards where I am?" Terri whispered into her throat mike.
She could hear the laughter in Joe's voice and as he replied to her message, "Good to hear from you Specialist, What happened to you?"
"The road beneath me collapsed and dumped me in the subway. Seems the Sparkies are guarding it and I may need some help getting out of here." Terri looked at the wall next to her, "Seems I'm close to the 5th and 8th station."
"Roger that Landes. Say Pyro, why don't you, Benny and a couple others go into that Station and rescue our wayward Specialist."
Terri Smiled as she heard what should of been Pyro's barely heard mumbling came clearly over the radio.

Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. While I did check the spelling, I didn't proof read it.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on July 31, 2014, 01:07:06 PM
Brothers in Arms.

Joe swore as the rest of the squad ducked deeper into cover. An Athargon tank had them pinned. The small gun embedded in the hull was drawing power straight from the vehicles power plant, giving it a rate of fire that put even the CWIS Systems on the human's space vessels to shame. Plus it gave the rounds a lot of extra penetration power. The front of the building they were hiding in was being turned into gravel under the barrage.

Joe was about to call over his radio for assistance when he heard, "Tango down, who needs help?"
Joe laughed, "That you Callihan? I could use an assist, got a Sparky Whisper pinning my squad. We're on the east side of the city, grid 19. You close?"
"It's me Joe and Roger that location. BIS has us two blocks from you. Keep him distracted?"
"He's turning the building we're in, into rubble, he's plenty distracted. Get that rumbler you call a tank over here."
Joe turned to his squad, "Got a Praetorian coming in to deal with the Sparky out front, these guys will probably level this city block. We're going out the back as soon as he gets here."

They didn't have to wait very long before they heard the distinctive hiss-boom of a large calibre laser firing. The Athargon tank rocked but all the dust in the air took the sting out of it. The Athargon tank still took damage, the treads screaming as it was suddenly in motion. It smashed through glass of the building behind it. Joe took the tinkling sound if the falling glass as the signal to move. "Go! Everyone out the back, now!"
Callihan's voice broke through the radio, "Joe, you owe me a beer for this."
"Callihan, you kill that bastard and I'll buy your crew the first round."
"Done and done Joe. And you know I'll col..." The radio cutting out worried Joe till he heard another hiss-boom and the roar of the big Praetorian's engine.

The squad regrouped a block away before Joe spoke again, "right, let's go find Landes."
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 01, 2014, 01:55:22 PM
First Time

"This recruits, is a Praetorian." Bart Callihan couldn't help it, his eyes bugged and his jaw dropped. His heart skipped a beat as he watched the Praetorians roll onto the parade grounds. The angular lines, the long barrel of the main gun. The roar of an even dozen of the machines. The colour of the big tanks was hard to describe. Later in life when people pushed for an answer, Callihan would always describe it as being like oil floating on water, but deeper. It was a special paint that was supposed to help reflect, refract, and generally spread out the energy of a laser, without actually being a reflective surface. Callihan realised his instructor was still talking and started listening again, "... The armour is a honeycombed, multilayered, titanium ceramic alloy. All the power comes from the onboard generator. Secondary armaments consist of a pair of laser carbines, also powered from the on board generator. Top speed on road is around hundred kilometers an hour. None of you will be driving one this fast today." Bart had been working hard since getting assigned here after basic. He still wished his best friend has chosen to be a Rumbler like him, but Joe had chosen to join the infantry and hoped to be chosen for special ops.

"Right, when I call your name, you will proceed to the tank on the left and follow the instructions of the tank commander." Bart waited patiently for his name to be called, he'd spent the last two months training in the simulators and learning everything he could about these tanks. Today was the first time they'd even seen one and now he was about to drive one. His name was called and he dutifully moved towards the fifth tank. Callihan was glad that whoever had designed the SIM had decided the only way to get in and out was the same as for the real thing. He was able climb in and quickly set about adjusting the seat, harness and controls for himself.

He had been waiting just a minute before the order came over the radio and he was started the Praetorian's engine. Three thousand horsepower of motor roared to life before settling into a growl as it idled over. It was at that point he realised the SIM wasn't as accurate as he had thought, it definitely didn't translate the feel of one of these tanks. It felt alive and he began to understand some of the things his instructors had said about these tanks. He just hoped this one was a friendly sort.

The tanks began rolling from the parade grounds out onto the training course. To Bart, the tank felt eager to move, to respond to his commands through the controls. He couldn't help smiling as he turned the big tank and slowed to a stop. Each tank was being sent out onto a twenty kilometer obstacle course designed to test how well the recruits had learnt in the Sims. Twenty-five minutes later, the instructor messaged him over the intercom, "Your up Callihan, let's see what you can make this tank do."

Bart gentle pushed the tank forward, the start of the course was a steep angle decline that disappeared under the nose of the Praetorian. That was followed by a water crossing but it quickly disappeared into the forest surrounding the base and that was all Bart could see right now. The tank tipped over and Bart opened the motor up, letting it accelerate down the hill and through the ford. He knew these tanks could almost swim but he was still surprised as the water came up to the turret ring. He was glad he'd double checked his hatch was secured.

The course took an hour to complete and more then a couple had failed to, getting the tank stuck or taking it off the course. Then there was the trap that caught Bart off guard. A couple places had been turned into minefields and was to make sure the prospective Rumblers would continue checking their BIS screens during the test. The mines were small radio transmitters that caused the tank to shutdown and Callihan had sworn when he felt the Praetorian die, only to then notice the screen flashing, "You're dead!" in big red letters. "Sorry Callihan, looks like you just found a minefield. I'll reset the system and you can get us out of here."
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 02, 2014, 12:53:11 PM
Conspiracy Theory.

"People call me crazy. Tell me I'm wrong. But I'm not crazy, just know the truth. See, there are these creatures. Spiders actually. Don't know where they came from or why they act the way they do. All I know, is they use us."

"They use us?"

"Yep. There's one on you right now. On me too. That itching on the back of your head, that's one. Lump on the back of your neck is how you know you've been bitten."

"Why can't I see them?"

"It's their poison or venom or whatever it is. It hides them from our eyes somehow. Back of your head is getting really itchy isn't it."

"Why do they do this, bite us, hide from us."

"I dunno. "

"Surely they have reason."

"They surely do. I don't know. How would I know!"

"Ok, I believe you. How did you see them?"

"I've never fully seen one. They are always just outside view. Corner of the eye stuff. I've met people though, people who have seen them. Couple were even scientists. They told me a scan of the brain stem showed evidence of the bite."

"What kind of evidence?"

"They said that there was some kind of build up. They used a heap of technical, medical type jargon. Others have seen them. Been told certain drugs block the effect. Marijuana is one"




"How should I know! I'm just a bloody truck driver!"


Behind a one way mirror.


"It's getting harder to cover up after these people."

"I know."

"More are showing up."

"I know."

"Where is the immunity coming from?"

"It's not an immunity."

"Then how do you explain this?"

"None can see the Attalory."

"Not yet anyway."

"Think that bit about marijuana is legit?"

"Don't know enough to say for sure."

"The Queen will need to know."

"I know."


Back inside the room.


"This gentleman will take you to a place you can rest."

"That itch annoying you?"
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 03, 2014, 03:03:47 PM
*Edited version.*

Landing Party.

The six vessels started skimming the atmosphere, the trials of fire merging into one long fireball. Hathor Class Escort Carriers. Each ship named after a different God of the sky or air. They were designed for one purpose, to fly to another planet and then enter the atmosphere. Each vessel was a giant wing, purely designed to generate lift in an atmosphere. They would circumnavigate the planet twice before flying low enough and slow enough to fulfil their primary mission, launching the dozen Harpy Fighters each carried. Then the massive engines would be spun up to full power and they would climb back out of the atmosphere.

They were surrounded by two flights of Garuda bombers and eight of largest human craft actually capable of landing on and then taking off from a planet, The Pegasus Dropships. The mission was to create a beachhead at the main spaceport so more units could be ferried down to the planet. That would then be the launching off point for the war to take the planet back.

The Gods of Flight were flying in a massive V formation. Now they were far enough apart they could use the drag and turbulence each created to help slow the whole. Soon though, they would move closer, both for mutual protection and to use each other's slipstreams. Once they did that, they would launch the payload of Harpy Fighters. The fighters were held in launch cradles on the flight deck that would be deployed, at the end of a mission, they could be retrieved the same way. Dangerous and tricky manoeuvre that it was.

At still well over sixty thousand feet above the ground, each vessel deployed it's flight deck. They were currently doing just under Mach one and still slowing but they could now safely launch the fighters. The wind blowing over the hulls of the great ships buffeted the fighters as they were held in their launch cradles. The engines on the fighters already running and to go to full power. At just under Fifty thousand feet and ten kilometres from the target, they released their payload of Harpies. The fighters dropping from underneath the massive Gods. Multiple booms sounded around the Gods as each Harpy fired their engines and raced towards the target. Each God was also armed and started firing on targets on the ground. The lasers stabbing at the ground as they passed.

Mission accomplished for now, the Gods powered their mighty engines up and started climbing again. They were completely armed but the slower they went and the longer in atmosphere, the more risk they were at. The design allowed for a landing, but no-one wanted to try it since they weren't sure how to get them off they planet again, each vessel having been built in the zero gravity shipyards orbiting Jupiter.

Didn't change as much as I expected too but so much happier about this story. Also, thank you Ravager Zero for chatting with me about it this afternoon.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 07, 2014, 02:18:35 PM

Joe and Bart chatted ideally while they waited for their instructor to arrive. The squad they were assigned to were all sitting in the same row, surrounded by two other squads. "Attention!" Everyone jumped to their feet as the sergeant entered the room followed by two corporals. "At ease people." The sergeant waited a moment for everyone to get settled before continuing, "Today I'll be teaching you the care and use of the standard battlefield armour." One of the corporals lifted the item in question up so everyone could see one.

"As each of you should know, this armour consists of four layers. The first is a layer of Kevlar, threaded through with Biosilk and coated in rubber. The second, is a layer of liquid quartz. This is sandwiched between the first layer of Kevlar, and a second layer. The last layer is the same stuff our armoured fighting vehicles are made of, titanium ceramic alloy. This layer is very thin and won't stop a bullet, shrapnel, or even a knife. That's what the Kevlar is for. What it will do is help disperse the energy of a laser hit. Though it does that poorly if I'm honest. Which is why next week, we'll be teaching you how not to get hit. But I digress."

The two corporals had been handing out the basic vest as the sergeant had been talking. "Now the first thing most people notice, is the weight. This is not, a light vest, and the full armour is worse. The second thing most people notice, is the plugs. This armour can and does help power a couple pieces of kit. The first is your radio. The second is your PAD. The eggheads tell me this works because as you move, the liquid quartz layer is compressed. This won't recharge anything that's flat, but I can assure you, it does extend the operational time of both the PAD and radio."

Joe carefully opened the vest and ran his hand over the material. It was soft but he could tell it was tough. The armour itself was covered in cotton, weaved with more of the Biosilk. He lifted the whole vest up a little and was surprised at just how heavy it was. Still, had to be better then being shot or stabbed. He tuned back into the sergeant, "I'm told this armour is idiot proof, but as I always say, you make something idiot proof, and they then design a better idiot. I expect one of you will somehow damage this armour beyond repair. They tested this stuff be running it over with a Praetorian, so that's quite the challenge." Joe smirked as he noticed Bart perk up at the mention of the famous battle tank.

"Speaking of heavy armour, I know some of you are destined to drive those Rumblers, good help us, so you possibly think you don't need to know this. Well it just so happens, that even vehicle crews are expected to wear this armour. So you will learn it." Bart's shocked look told Joe that his best friend hadn't known that. He smirked again as he listened to the sergeant recount how an earlier version of this armour had saved his life and then how a cadet had survived a live fire exercise because of this very mark of armour. The front of the vest had several Velcro patches and several clips for various pouches and equipment. The sides had adjustable straps and it looked like a Velcro patch with metal weaved through it.

"Any questions?" The sergeant asked. Joe raised his hand.
"Yes recruit."
"Sergeant, what's this patch on the side of the vest? It looks like Velcro with metal woven into it."
"Sharp eyes. That's exactly what it is. That's were the legs section of the armour connects so that the power generated by the liquid quartz can be transferred. You'll also notice a similar patch on both shoulders. That's were the arm armour connects for the same thing. While the vest does produce power, most is produced by the legs and arms of the armour system during marching."

The smile on the sergeant's face told Joe and everyone else what was coming, "Speaking of marching. Once we have gotten you whelps fitted in your complete armour system, we'll be doing just that. Now on your feet so we can go get the rest of your armour." Both Bart and Joe groaned as they got to their feet and follow the rest of the recruits outside.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 08, 2014, 12:23:15 PM
Alpha Strike.

Captain Talon Draid sat in his chair on the CIC of The Oceanus. The Titan Class Carrier was orbiting the world below. It was the flag ship of a modest fleet, six destroyers, two cruisers and a dozen pickets. It was really just acting as space traffic control for the system until the first orbital was finished. Then it would be returning to Sol, though it would be leaving the picket ships behind. While armed, the picket ships mostly did search and rescue, inspections and occasionally, giving the odd asteroid a shove if it threatened something important.

Talon was watching the colonies first orbital being build on his monitor. Several tugs were shifting the next module into place. This module contained the secondary life support systems. The next module to be installed was already floating five kilometers up spin and contained all the traffic control equipment. Oceanus and her fleet had entered the system six months ago and relieved the Eos and her fleet, which had arrived with the second wave of colonists.

"Computer reports FTL window opening. Six degrees leading, nineteen degrees above plane, six AU out." Draid looked up at the main screen as it focused on the section of space. They wouldn't be able to see what came through until one of the Oceanus' telescopes was aimed there. "Any ships expected?"
"No sir. Getting a message from picket two-three-six. Ships of unknown design." The comms officer paused for a heart beat, "Picket two-three-six is reporting that it's under attack."

An explosion appeared on the view screen just as it blurred. When it refocused, what was left of the picket ship was being brushed aside by a much larger vessel. It was roughly the same size as the Oceanus. "Alert all ships, colony under attack, pickets to regroup at L5 and hold position. Destroyers are to regroup on us, cruisers are to flank from spinward."
"Sent sir."
"Ready all batteries, alert the fighter squadrons and put us between the planet and the moon. Red alert."

Klaxons started blaring as the ship rocked. A second lot of alarms started screaming as air pressure started being lost through the holes in the hull. "Are the missiles armed?" Talon yelled over the alarms.
"Yes sir."
"Fire all of them and signal the fleet to return to earth and then get us the hell out of here."
"Yes sir!"

Flares erupted along the hull of the carrier as it fired it's missiles. It's thrusters burst into life and the ship groaned under the strain. The missiles streaked away from the Titan Class vessel. The motors burning for fifteen seconds before shutting down. Both to save fuel and so they couldn't be tracked by their flares. They'd fire again when they'd closed with their target.

"Alert the colony they are on their own and under attack. We'll bring the cavalry as soon as we can."
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 12, 2014, 01:44:20 PM
The Legion Assault.

The Legionary was leading two others up the mountain, scouting the way for a group of much heavier Praetorian MBTs. All three vehicles were effortlessly climbing the steep slope thanks to their powerful motors. Right now, they were barely moving faster then walking speed but on road, they were the fastest land vehicle in the human defence force's motorpool. Most of the human colonists thought these mountains were absolutely gorgeous. Many had spent time climbing, biking and camping in these mountains. The trees grew incredibly tall and thick. More like pillars holding the sky aloft then trees. The tips were capped in snow all year round, but the three Legionaries weren't climbing the slopes to take in the views or the recreation opportunities. They were trying to find an alien landing site.

The crew of all three vehicles knew the human fleet had already left and the unknown enemy fleet had landed in these mountains, just not exactly where. The ground based radar at the spaceport had several massive blind spots caused by the mountains. The three trucks pulled a hundred meters short of a ridge leading into the next valley. Two soldiers got out of the less vehicle and raced up the slope. The dived to the ground and belly crawled the last five meters.

The ground between the two soldiers exploded outwards, showering the vehicles in mud and rock as the bodies were thrown like rag dolls. Several soldiers ran to check on their comrades. A second explosion and shower of grit and dirt caused them to grab the wounded and head for the vehicles. The vehicles lurched into motion and swung around to head back down the slope.

They'd gotten halfway down when they first saw what was attacking them. A pair of large tracked vehicles launched themselves over the ridge. Both landed heavily and skidded before straightening back up. The turrets both tracked onto a Legionary and fired. Tree trunks blew apart and leaf litter was picked up in the passing of the hypersonic rounds. One of the Legionaries was picked up and thrown down the slope, deeper into the valley. The vehicle was already crumpled when it smashed into the ground and then into a tree. The left most Legionary was pulled sideways by the passing of the round, it was lucky to have been swinging round a massive tree.

While the two big tanks chasing them wouldn't normally be able to keep up with the light armoured vehicles, the trees and rocks of the valley kept them from using their speed to get away from the unknown tanks. The tanks on the other hand were forcing their way down the valley through the trees. While the guns on the tanks didn't make a noise when fired, the rounds more then made up for it, igniting the air and a massive whip crack like noise. The two Legionaries were lucky to be missed again. The troopers in both vehicles were trying to line up a clear shot with the anti-tank missiles carried. A crew member on the trailing vehicle saw and chance and took it, firing the missile. The enemy tank saw the same chance and fired as well. The missile hit the tank squarely, causing it to slide to a halt. The Legionary was launched with the impact of the round. It bounced several times before hitting the last human truck, causing it to lose control. It smashed into a huge boulder. The last tank fired on the wreck. The wreck was smashed against the boulder again and the bolder reduced to dust and rubble.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 17, 2014, 03:27:16 PM
Maiden Voyage.

Robert Harriman stood in front of the deep dock's window. In twenty-four hours, the atmosphere would be evacuated from around the hull of the ship contained within for the last time. He'd take possession of the vessel and sail her towards earth as part of her shakedown cruise and trials. She was the first of a new line of cruisers. The name of both the vessel and the class shone brightly on the hull, brilliantly contrast against the inky blackness of the hull. Enterprize. While officially part of the navy, it was foremost a scout ship, enough endurance to spend decades in deep space, though expected to tour for no more then six months. Heavily armed and lightly crewed for her size.

Captain Harriman turned his head as the door to the observation lounge opened. The vessels designer, John Pyke, drifted up next to him, the entire facility under zero gravity, which was only turned on for events, like the laying down of a new hull or the launch of a ship like tomorrow. John lightly stopped himself next to the window, "Fine vessel isn't she?"
"Indeed, though I'm wondering which tradition she'll follow." Robert replied.
"There have been dozens of vessels named enterprise. The spelling used here is the same as a colony ship used to settle Melbourne, Australia. Fitting considering this ships role. But there have been slave ships, frigates, cruisers, ships of the line, freighters, exploration vessels and even aircraft carriers. The first spacecraft named Enterprise was the American space shuttle. The second was a civilian tourist craft."
"You've done your homework on the name."
"I'll be captaining a vessel with a pedigree mister Pyke, it's only fitting I know what that pedigree is."


The christening went to plan and according schedule, the speeches made and then the various officials went back to work. Several would be hitching a lift on the Enterprize back to earth, where it would dock with the Central American spacelift orbital anchor. There, it would take on it's full crew and supplies before heading to the edges of the system.

Captain Harriman sat in his chair as the tugs pulled the vessel out of the deep dock, the process would take over an hour before the engines could be started. The vessels backup reactors would provide enough power for the Enterprize to move to the safe standoff distance for the main reactors power up, but that would be the crews job for tomorrow.


The Enterprize was connected with the tug that had followed it out from the dry dock facility, the umbilical connecting them would provide the power needed for the main reactor firing on the Enterprize. After losing two orbitals to mistakes firing up the reactors, it was made protocol not to fire the main reactors near anything. "Tug Nineteen reports ready for boost."
"Begin reactor start up."
"Yes sir. Beginning main reactor start up."


"Contact, we are docked with Aztec Anchor."
"Good work everyone" Robert then activated the ship wide PA, "We have docked with Aztec Anchor, all passengers will be free to transfer to Aztec in thirty minutes, all crew, secure the ship."

Six months later.

"Contact, we are docked at Aztec Anchor."
"Excellent work." Captain Harriman activated the ship wide, "We have docked with Aztec. I know some of you are looking forward to some shore leave so I'll keep this short. You have all done an excellent job on this cruise. We all have two weeks of shore leave and then we'll be leaving on our first tour. Secure the ship and let's get back to our families."
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on August 23, 2014, 02:26:33 PM
The Citadel.

The hissing permeated the air, audible, even over the sound of boots slamming the earth and the rattle of the armour. The air, thick with the smell of boiling water, burning oil, the sweat of man and beast, was filled with steam and dust in the morning light. The fog in the river valley below them was just beginning to burn off in the light. Smoke rose from several outlying farms and the great citadel. The citadel straddled the river as it fed into the sea. Pennants flew in the air over the marching army, gold over blue. A large flag gentle flapped was it was raised over the keep, a stylised wolf in a beige background, trimmed in silver.

Sun straight up saw the marching army approached by two runners from the city. One hung back while the first raised a sign of peace. She closed to a hundred yards a signalled for the army to halt. The commander of the army ignored her while a squad of archers stepped off the road. They drew and released in one smooth movement. The arrows sailed over the road and fell to ground where the runner waited. The runner and her mount dropped to the road, the second runner turned and fled back to the citadel.


The army had besieged the citadel, yet the people of the citadel did not care. The marching army had come from a land bound nation, they had no sea going vessels and could not block the harbour. Several messengers had been send from the citadel to the besiegers, none had been received. The disruption to the trade through the citadel meant the siege could not be allowed. If they would not talk, they would be destroyed. No army had ever besieged the citadel before, and none would be allowed to for long. The besiegers were about to be surprised.

The four vessels steamed out of the harbour and split into two pairs. The water churned about their hulls as the traveled to each side of the citadel. The army didn't realise the danger the vessels presented, even as they steamed towards the shore. The first sign of the danger was a massive quadruple booming noise. The guns turreted on the fore deck of the vessels spewing smoke and fire. They were answered moments later by the guns mounted on the wall. Two dozen great guns fired out at the besieging army.

The great vessels of steel ran straight for the beach, powered through the water by great tracks, they climbed up onto the sand. Great plumes of smoke and steam poured from stacks sticking up through the superstructure. The guns firing again. The camp was a flurry of activity as men gathered their arms. The archers were the first ready. They drew and loosed, the arrows sailing high into the air and glancing harmlessly off the great metaled behemoths.

Some of the foot soldiers had grabbed their grapples and lines and threw them, the hooks catching on the top rail of the vessels. They began swarming up the sides and over the rails. The great ships ground to a halt, hatches in the sides of the hull falling open and soldiers disgorging from within.

The knights of the besieging army met the soldiers of the citadel. The steam engines on their backs wheezed and hissed, the pistons attached to the arms and legs of the great armour allowing them great strength. The rattle and clamour of blades meeting shield, blade and armour. The roar of men and the smell of blood, oil and steam filled the air. The great guns on the wall kept up a steady beat as a backdrop to the sounds of battle. No sooner had the last man stepped off the ramp and the great hatches began to close. Sealed again, the ships lurched back into motion. The tracks screaming in protest.


The day had been won and the iron hulled ships slipped back into the water. They were too large to fit through the city gates and could only return to the berths by sea. The leader of the besiegers was marched into the city. He'd be allowed to live, traveling back to his home nation as a prisoner at the head of the citadel's army. Watching as each city was taken.
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: Narric on January 02, 2015, 11:30:44 AM
I'm gonna have to take time to read these. I feel bad I've not said anything or seemingly read them...
Title: Re: TD's Collected Shorts.
Post by: InsaneTD on November 11, 2015, 02:21:14 PM
TD is tired, TD wants to sleep, TD is being driven insane by mind wanting to do some world building. Not a story but info on the Praetorian main battle tank as used by human forces. I actually had more but lost it due to idiocy on my part, so this is most of the current info.

Praetorians are the same general size as an Abrams M1 though due to armour and weapons, ends up being much lighter. It's also not quiet as tall and has a much sleeker, more steam lined shape.

Due to power and efficiency requirements, Praetorians run two highly advanced turbines, and have very large fuel reserves. Several intakes feed air to the turbines with the exhaust being a specially designed vent in the lower section of the rear armour. It's designed to spread the heat as much as possible and allow lots of air to move without generating much pressure.

Everything on the tank is tested before being installed and anything that doesn't meet strict requirements is inspected and tested to find out why. In the case of things performing better then expected, to find out how and to see if that information can be used to better the component. If worse, to find out why not and how to prevent it happening again. This means every vehicle is so alike, the only way to tell some of them apart is by serial and vehicle numbers.

The paint is designed to reflect, retract and absorb radiation and other em energy sources that hit it. It's specially produced Crystal that is kept in a liquid medium. The entire hull of the tank is dipped into the liquid and a current is passed through it, bonding the paint to the armour in a similar way to electroplating. This, combined with the hull material, helps to spread the heat and energy from a laser. The paint is normally described as looking like ink or oil on water, as well as seeming blacker then black.

The hull itself is a titanium ceramic alloy, which like the tank and it's paint, is all made in zero gravity. The armour is layered with micro honeycomb like compartments designed to help prevent spalding inside the crew compartment, and help distribute and heat build up from repeated laser hits. The material itself is proof against all small arms, as well as larger cannons, though it still uses similar design principles as the Abrams M1 to try and deflect rounds, rather then stop them.

Hopefully, now I can sleep. Night all.