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Messages - BigToof

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General 40k and Expansions / Matched Play Beta Changes
« on: Yesterday at 02:07:22 PM »
Hi All,
In case you weren't aware, there are a few beta matched play changes that have gone out.

There's some clarification for the character targeting shenanigans (thank goodness), but most importantly Smite has gotten a nerf (every additional attempt causes a -1).  This is huge as it hurts the big smite spam armies and that might (?) bring back some elite armies...

Although oddly enough Orks can still smite spam, but at least now there isn't a pressure to try massed IG or brimstone psyker spam.



P.S.  Now that things are setted matched play wise, more batreps coming soon!

No problem.
I've actually been thinking about updating this series, just that Dark Eldar are in a bit of a pickle as they don't have a Codex yet...
Is there interest in just having an Index review?


General 40k and Expansions / Re: Chapter Approved - Thoughts and Commentary
« on: December 02, 2017, 09:18:33 PM »
I must say that Chapter Approved has caused a lot of drama that almost makes me question if it was all worth it...
Overall, it was just a bigger FAQ that could have been put out as a free PDF, but I'm not sure if it was just billed incorrectly.
If it had just said, "this will be little tweaks, nothing more" then I think people wouldn't have had big hopes.
But, it had been translated into "here's how we're going to balance everything" which was clearly not the intent.

After all, it still seems obvious that all Codex armies are superior to Index armies, and that makes sense as the Codex armies are supposed to be fully-fleshed out works.

So, I was suspicious when the hype that CA was getting was too high.
I still like playing 8th, but you have to bill things correctly otherwise the fanbase will eat you alive.


Thank you all for the kind words!

I was really pleased to see that so many of the old guard are still here :)

I'll try to get the next one out sooner than later!


Fun as ever, and its good to see the dark eldar can still cut it (I've had some games against Craftworlders and Harlies, so I know they're still decent). I feel like this game really showed how important maneuverability can be.

Also, 20" fusion pistols? Really? Or is that meaning the effective range, combining actual weapon range with movement value?

Hi Mabbz,
Thanks for the reply.  I was actually adding the Starweaver's range and the pistol range.
Which is... actually 22".  My bad.
Wow, that's... kind of far really :)


Woohoo, batrep! Always nice to see some Thielbane fluff. As always, my money is on you.

Hi Mabbz!
Thanks for the reply.  Glad to see some of the old guard are still here looking for Eldar batreps :)

Please let me know what you think.

Oh and to all: comments and critiques greatly appreciated!

Let me know if you would like anything next (Ork vs IG vs Eldar)!


Turn 1: Dark Eldar

Farseer Thielbane whetted his lips in thought as the massive figure of the Knight Titan drew closer and closer into range.  It was a bold move for Y'stral to attempt such a raid, but he had to admit that if they were successful, the Aeldari would gain a fragile foothold on the system.  And in the current environment, every planet that could be saved for potential colonization could be that final haven that might save the entire race.

Or so he told himself, because otherwise the mission looked like a hastily whipped-together plan made of bravado and arrogance with a side of tragedy in the wings.



Thielbane threw a look back to the Raider that was inches from his Skyrunner, moving at a breakneck pace just over the treeline.  Archon Y'stral was waving to get his attention.

"Thiel, put the whammy on the big guy!  I want to see him crapping his metal pants tonight!"

The Farseer sighed, "Y'stral, using the Runes of Fate is not as simple as..."

"Right, right.  Whatever.  Just do your thing.  We're gonna give that tin can a darklight enema that it won't forget!"


Having played versus many armies with a 24" range, I realize that although I can't outrange all of the speedy Tauroxes, I can just refuse a flank.

And that's what I do as I move out to the left and make sure that the big Knight is in range of all my Dark Light.
I also fly the Ravenwing out in front of the Knight to keep it out of assault range in case things go pear-shaped and put the birds out to the flanks to range out the incoming Scions.

Thiel gets off DOOM and a smite on the big Knight and then a HAIL of Dark Light goes out and nearly tears it down (or at least you know, knocks it down to the 6 wounds or less category of effectiveness).  I also have a few lances left so I thow it at a Taurox and surprisingly it dies!

Picture Caption: Well nothing important actually DIED, but we did a number on the big guy!

Turn 1: Scions/Knights

"Well, at least he's drawing their fire."

Tempestor Prime McCulloch shook his head at the sit-rep.  The Knight was doing its best, but the Xenos were too fast in their approach.  Even the Tauroxes were barely in position, and it was clear that the much faster Eldar flotilla was going to pick them apart in a matter of moments.

It was good that a Grav-Chute drop took less time then that.

"Men!" he bellowed to the Scions compressed in the high-flying Valkyrie hidden in the clouds, "Be ready!  The Xenos will feel our sting and burn with the fires of our holy plasma!  Emperor be praised!"


The Scions bring their Primes down with a Command Squad and Troop squad each.  The Tauroxes move in, but only the ones to the left are in range.  The Knight tries to move a bit forward, but knocked down to 6" only for his move, he's not going anywhere.

Shooting is a bit lackluster, as the Scions are out of effective range, and don't do much to the Ravagers.  The Knight flames (Flamers hit flyers?  Fluff be damned then) the Razorwing, but misses pretty much every shot.  The Tauroxes move in and put some shots on the Raider, but even 60 S4 shots aren't too great with decreased accuracy (for moving) and my 5+ invul save...

Picture Caption: Wait... We're still intact?

Turn 2: Dark Eldar

Swearing, Hekatrix Allonia pulled back on her flight stick, gritting her teeth as the shock wave passed through her Razorwing Jetfighter.  The Archon hadn't told her that the Dark Lances were going to be detonating the Mon-Keigh monstrosity right on top of her.  Still, it could be worse, she thought as she cycled through the missiles.

She could be a Wych running around in a thong trying to keep from being shot up by everything and anything.

Shatterfield Missiles.  Freezing outside, burning inside.  Amusing in its own way as it killed with an unassuming grace.
She hoped that the Mon-Keigh would appreciate this particular brand of humour...


Well, I could play it cagey and just keep moving away...
Or I could go balls-out and assault.




Yeah, that's not a choice.
I get the Harlies out and both clowns, their rides and the birds go to assault the Scions.  The boats continue to float left and

Dark Light buries the Knight and downs another Taurox.

And then in assault, I hit the Scions HARD as I have the birds and Starweavers tank the overwatch while the Harlies are pretty intact.
The clowns make mincemeat of the Scions and then pile in towards the Primes (who are smartly out of range for the moment...).

Picture Caption: Clowns and Birds, BFFs?

Turn 2: Scions/Knight


Prime McCulloch swore and turned down the volume on his Vox-bead.  He hadn't expected the damn Xenos to be so fast.  The brightly coloured aliens had moved with unearthly grace and tore his troops to pieces in a heartbeat.  They and their damnable birds had been almost been the end of him.  Almost.

"Report," he whispered into his comm, "What's going on?"

"Sir, we're taking heavy fire and... and..."

Some scattered screaming and swearing filled the background.

"I think we got one, sir!"

McCulloch nodded to himself.  The Xenos hit hard, but couldn't take a punch back.  Now, all he had to do was find a safe place to hide until all of this died down...


Perhaps realizing his folly on not dropping everything down, my opponent drops in the last of the Scions and moves the Tauroxes forwards.

The Primes run away from the birds/clowns (and thus move out of range of the relic!).
Shooting has the Raider eat it hard after a lot of shots and the bullet-hose Tauroxes tear apart the Warriors, but the Archon survives without a scratch!

Picture Caption: Well, the Raider ALMOST made it...

Turn 3: Dark Eldar

A howl of unrestrained fury filled the air and Thielbane sighed as he watched the Archon make unsavory gestures at the Mon-Keigh.

"Theil!" Y'stral bellowed, "The frickin' Mon-Keigh blew up my ride!"

"Yes, Y'stral," responded the Farseer, "Now we have to get you to..."

"And worse the clowns and the birds are out there stealing kills!  My kills!"

"Yes, that's... besides the point.  Now we have to get you to safety and..."

"Birdgirl!" continued the Archon unabated.

A fluttering figure boosted over the treetops and the newly monickered Beastmaster Starsparkle landed next to the Archon, only mostly covered in excrement, blood and excitement.

"You called, Great One?"

"Yeah, I did.  Get your birds in order!  I gotta kill something or you're all going to pay!"

Starsparkle nodded, pulling out a slightly bent whistle that needed a sharp tweet or three until the birds mostly started moving in an organized fashion.  Thielbane shook his head.  This could only end badly...


The Harlies jump back in their rides and the birds move up to assault the Tauroxes!

Dark Lances and Fusion pistols (20" range?  that's pretty good!) down two Tauroxes while the Starweavers and Razorwing Missiles almost down the Scions.

The Birds assault in with the Archon and finish off the Scions and tie up a Taurox, although I'm almost running out of the beasts.

Picture Caption: Wow, Fusion Pistols are hella good.  And the birds are doing work!

Turn 3: Scions/Knight
The Tauroxes pull back and the firepower from only ONE Taurox (splitting fire between the birds) shoot down every last bird.

Picture Caption: You done good, little buddies.  You done good.

Turn 4: Dark Eldar

Shooting buries the last of the Tauroxes and the game ends!

Picture Caption: And that's all she wrote!

Result: Dark Eldar Victory!


Post-Game Thoughts:

Wow, Dark Eldar are a LOT better than they were.  They went from being Raider chauffers for the Craftworlders to being serious contenders.  But, let's do a real breakdown:

Archon: Y'stral was fun, but a blaster doing 1d3 damage is kinda butts.  Also, he paled in comparison to Harlies in... pretty much every way.  But, you know.  Cheap HQ?
Grade: C

Farseer: DOOM IS GODLIKE.  I mean, any ability to re-roll my not-too-many Dark Lances really, really helps.  Hella expensive, but a very good force multiplier.  Smite wasn't incredible, but I'm not turning my nose up on mortal wounds here and there.
Grade: A

Beastmaster/Beasts: I grouped them together, because without the Master, the Birds are unreliable, and I could tell that once they got away from their Ld9 kemosabe, they just fell apart.  Still, they were great fast screens and annoying for my opponent to deal with!
Grade: A

Harlies: Wow.  Just wow.  They melted the Scions with ease and Fusion Pistols are just NASTY.  Really expensive, but I really felt like their earned their points back in spades.  Rising Crescendo lets them be amazingly mobile and they can easily get in range of assaults that you think are too far away for them. Oh, and their rides are fast and surprisingly durable with a nice assault punch that you don't expect the first time around...
Grade: A

Razorwing: Nice assault blocker and just very nice for getting in Lances and Missiles which helped, but not stellar.  Still, very good.
Grade: B

Ravagers: O.M.G.  Wow.  I...  Wow.  Perhaps the linchpin of the list and dare I say it, the army?  The Ravager finally feels like what it should be: a mobile Lance dispensary that makes a mockery of lowly Mon-Keigh tanks.  Just so good.
Grade: A+

Overall, I had a great time, and surprised my opponent who thought he was going to ROFL stomp all over me.  I think it might be that A) I got first turn and B) He was clearly teched out to kill Brimstone/Conscript spam and not a flotilla of Dark Light.

Let me know what you all think, and if you like it, the Dark Eldar will return!


Thielbane sighed and tried to ignore the rampant stabbing that the Archon was giving to the Mon-Keigh bodies.  Clearly just winning the battle wasn't enough to sate the rage of the Drukhari leader.  Perhaps a decade or two ago he would have been surprised.

Then, he heard a sniffling and saw Starsparkle sobbing into a small pile of ragged looking feathers.

Deciding that it seemed like a good distraction, Thielbane pulled away from the display of unnecessary violence and moved towards the small Beastmaster.

"Star?  Is... something the matter?"

"N... No, Captain-Farseer," she said, "It's... silly.  I feel sort of sad for the birds.  They were kind of sick and balding and.. you know... really smelly.  But, they were my little guys.  Kind of like mini-Ponies.  And the Mon-Keigh shot them up."

"Oh, yes, I... can understand why you feel that way.  When I was young, we had a pet that..."

"Pet?  Oh, no, I mean... they aren't pets."

"They're... not?"

"No, no, no, no.  They're more like... really angry younglings.  Really angry.  Kind of suicidal too.  I mean, what do you call it when they fly right into engines to try and peck out the eyes of the pilots.  Maybe...  You know, maybe being dead isn't all that bad for them."  The Beastmaster paused, and then visibly brightened, "Do you think I could get some more?!"

"I don't see why..."

"Great!  Thank you, thank you thank you!"

Star ran over and pressed herself against Thielbane in a hug that made the Farseer realize that the Beastmaster was indeed female in ways that he shouldn't really think about.  At least not while the other Wyches were around.  For both their sakes.

He sighed.  At least they had all made it out alive in more or less one piece.

Perhaps this might even be the start of a new glorious beginning of the Eldar...

"Thiel!  I need your help over here defacing these things!  Sslyth genitals aren't going to draw themselves you know!"

Or, the Farseer had to add, it might just be more of the same...

The Eldar Alliance vs IG/Knight in "The Dark Light Returns" (1500)
Hi All,
Real life once again dealt Toof a bad hand or two, but I did manage to finally put some time aside and get a pretty brutal batrep written up!
I'm finding 8th to be hella fast compared to 7th and well, quite bloody when you get to the end game.
And I've always had a soft spot for the Dark Eldar.
Evil for the LULZ of it, hardcore, maniacal and just bad news by the standards of everyone (perhaps even Tyranids).

But, they were kind of lackluster last edition.

You just couldn't get much done without your Craftworld cousins and in the end it was just kind of embarrassing for all parties involved.
So it was with some trepedation that I brought out my spikey Space Elves for combat in the New Era.
And I faced up against a mate who was bringing out a decently hard-hitting list of Scions (AKA Storm Troopers) and a Knight Titan.  Oh and Tauroxes a plenty coming out of every orifice.

So... kind of brutal?

But, I had heard that Dark Light was the shiznit this edition and that Harlequins were remarkably good.
Still, looking at what I was up against it was... daunting to say the least.

How did things go?

Did the Dark Kin give the spanking or take one?

Read.  On.


P.S.  Of course there's fluff too :)

The Lists

The Eldar Alliance (1500): 26 Infantry, 6 Vehicles; 6 CPs
Archon Y'stral w/Blaster, Agonizer
Farseer Thielbane on Jetbike, Doom
Beastmaster Starsparkle w/Agonizer
Warriorsx5 w/Blaster in Raider w/DL, Shock Lance
Harlequinsx5 w/Fusion Pistolsx3, Embracesx4 in Starweaver w/SCx2
Harlequinsx5 w/Fusion Pistolsx3, Embracesx4 in Starweaver w/SCx2
Razorwing Flocksx4
Razorwing Flocksx4
Ravager w/DLx3
Ravager w/DLx3
Razorwing w/DLx2

Storm Troopers/Knight (1500): 25 Infantry, 6 Vehicles, 1 LoW; 7 CPs
Tempestus Prime w/Command Rod
Tempestus Prime w/Command Rod
Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (Scionsx4 w/Plasmaguns)
Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (Scionsx4 w/Plasmaguns)
Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2
Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2
Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Taurox Prime w/Hotshot Volley guns, Gatling gun, Storm Bolter
Knight Crusader w/Avenger Gatling gun, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Flamer, Heavy Stubbers


Chapter 14: The Dark Light Returns

Farseer Thielbane of Craftworld (or ex-Craftworld so-to-speak) Biel-Tan sat on the edge of the far railing of the Grisley Hand Kabal.  The Kabal was a roving band of Drukari warships that wandered around like Nomads between the Webway and Realspace.  Mostly kept separate from the rest of Eldar society due to their leader's mercurial bouts of homicidal rage and backstabbing tendencies, the flotilla had in its own way insulated itself from the recent alarming events in Eldar history.

The Farseer was lost in thought as he thought about his own timeline.  It seemed like it had been an age since he had been assigned for the "good" of the Craftworld to work with the Dark Kin.  The spiky, almost venomous architecture was borderline terrifying at first, but he had gotten used to it.  Now, the far-off screams of the torture racks and pain pits were an almost familiar, yet diabolical ambiance.

But, he had to wonder what good he had done for his Craftworld.  In his absence, an entire new faction of Eldar had emerged, fractured his homeworld and sent the entire race into a frenzy of paranoia and misgivings.  Y'nnead, the so-called God of Death, had come looking for followers, and more than a few of the Biel-Tan survivors had joined the ranks of the Death-Seekers.

Luckily, he had been spared the worst of the internal strife, but it was just a matter of time before the spiral of damnation grew out of control.
If only he had more...


Thielbane's head jerked up and he saw the impatient, pacing form of Archon Y'stral screaming his name.

The Archon was clad in his spike-ridden raiding armour and was clearly not in a pleasant mood. 

"Thiel, what in Khaine's name are you doing out here?  We've got a solid raid going off faster than you can kick an Ur-Ghul!"

The Farseer sighed and carefully leaned against the rail, "Y'stral, do you ever wonder what the point of all this is?"

Y'stral snorted, "No, are you crazy?  It's simple.  Commeraugh got it's guts turned inside out thanks to that totally hilarious fail on Vect's part.  Can you believe it?  Got made a fool of in front of everyone!  He'll never live it down.  Yeah, some stuff blew up and your Craftworld got a hole in it.  Big.  Deal.  The important thing is that everyone who can pay for it wants fresh slaves to jolt themselves into a pain and suffering overdose.  It's the perfect opportunity, Thiel!"

Thielbane nodded and said, "I... suppose in the short run, that's true, but the Harlequins are..."

Throwing up his hands, Y'stral cut off his companion with frantic gestures, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Clowns?  Thiel?  Didn't we have a talk about the clowns?  They cramp my style."

"That's... not important, Y'stral.  They're ambassadors of the Laughing God.  Potential go-betweens of the forces of Ynnead.  We have to treat them with respect and they do want to go with us onto the field of..."

But, the Archon was not to be stopped.  Y'stral continued his tirade unabated, starting to pace up and down the deck while wringing his hands in thought. 
"Oh, Oh!  I get it.  The clowns are running out of epic material and they want to see how the REAL Eldar get things done.  Fine.  Fine!  Just, they better not get in my way.  And if they steal any of my kills, I'll beat them to death with my murder-boner."

Thielbane sighed.  It was as close to a win as he could get at this point.  "Uh... right.  I've consulted the Runes and... you do know that we're up against serious opposition?"

A sharp laugh burst from out from Y'stral who shook his head derisively.  "Fffffft.  Thiel, come on.  It's me.  We've got some hoity-toity Mon-Keigh and one of their big metal bozos.  Just one.  We can handle that."

Thielbane shook his head and stammered, "I... suppose.  But, don't you think..."

Throwing a hand over the Farseer, Y'stral laughed, "Think?  Think?  No, Thiel, I know.  I know you need this.  You NEED this.  You're like someone whose girl left him and then went and set fire to his house and all of his pets.  You know, confused and kinda aroused."

"I... don't think that..."

Interrupting again, Y'stral said, "Anyway, that's besides the point.  We gotta get these birds the hell out of my ship before they start driving me nuts."

As if on cue, the nearby hatch door opened and a short, white-cloaked figure staggered out.  It took the two Eldar a moment to realize that it was in fact, a familiar looking individual coated in avian excreemnt.  Starsparkle, former leader of the "fearsome" Reaver gang: the Sky Ponies, tried to walk as respectfully as possible while leaving sticky footprints along the long gangway.
"Archon?  Farseer?  Is that you?"

Wrinkling his nose at the smell, the Archon responded, "No, it's the Mon-Keigh Primarchs.  Who do you think it is?"

Star tried to wipe her goggles clean, but only managed to add another layer of filth.  "Apologies.  It's just... hard to see...  The birds are acting kind of...  I think there's something wrong with their food."

The Archon continued, "Yeah, it's called not falling down and dying.  Stuff is supposed to kill anything, but those birds just keep crapping it out everywhere."

Trying to respond in a meaningful way, Star added, "Uh, yes.  Can I... stop being the Beastmaster now?"

Nevertheless, Y'stral continued his verbal barrage, "Stop?  STOP?  We need those rabid meatshields out there now.  The Mon-Keigh won't know what hit them...:

The Shrine World of Omicron-Sigma Seven was a blighted, barren wasteland except for a small patch of artificially maintained verdant forest surrounding the remains of a massive Imperial cathedral.  Omicron-Sigma Seven had been the site of a recent massive battle in which the Imperium had been victorious over a brutal Cult uprising that dared to question the divinity of the God-Emperor.  The Tempestus themselves were brought into play to quickly annihilate the Heretics, but their efficacy had a somewhat unfortunate side effect of purging the entire population.

So it was that the Two Masters sat at their command desk, none of them willing to break the silence.  Both were Temespesus Primes, lords of the best of the best of the Astra Militarum.  However, they were in the precarious position of having lost most of their Scion underlings and now the default defenders of the Relic of Saint Farquad the Undying was actually made up of mostly officers and their command staff.  It was a top-heavy conundrum that few Primes had had to deal with before and it bristling for the Masters to conceive of the fact that there was another individual who had equal authority to their once-vaunted dominion.  And it was about to come to blows when the diplomatic conception of "taking turns" was vetted into a hesitant state of agreement and now only one Master was in control at a time.  Just, not on a permanent basis.  And it did not make the other Prime friendly by any means.

The Primes looked at each other ruefully, both old men, made older by decades of warfare and longevity drugs, and all unwilling to give the others the satisfaction of looking away first.  Though named differently, Primes McCullum and Rutherford were practically mirror images of each other.  Heavily mustached with lines of wrinkles set into permanent scowls with dress uniforms blanketed with medals and varied sorts of honourarium.  Their level of prestige was so similar it was positively scandalous.

So it would have gone on for quite a while, until the door to the Command Room opened and a frantic looking Scion charged in.

"Masters!  I..."

Two pairs of beady eyes swiveled on the Scion, who paused and then realized that he wasn't actively saluting them.

Remedying it as best he could, the soldier tried his best to hold the reels of Vox-paper while staying at full attention.
"Uh, sirs.  Yes, the scanners have picked up a fast-moving force on the Vox-Arrays.  Energy signitures are Eldar."

The Masters scooted their chairs away from the desk in varying states of alarm, but the current leader, Prime McCullum was the one to bark the order.
"Send out the alert.  Mobilize the Knight and the Tauroxes for fast intercept.  Prepare the others for Grav-Chute entry.  Let us see how the Xenos fare against the finest of the Imperium."

Mission: The Relic
Setup: Front Line Assault
Y'stral: Inspiring Leader (+1 Ld to nearby units)
Tempestus Prime #1: Inspiring Leader (+1 Ld to nearby units)
Combat Drugs:
Starsparkle: +2 Ld

Pre-Game Thoughts:  The relic?  Oof, this one's going to be tough.
All of my vaunted mobility won't do beans if my opponent can just hold the center and blow me away.
I also have no real assault elements in my army, so if that Knight wants to just stand around bullying me, then well...  there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
On my side, I do go first unless he totally mechs up his army, but I don't think that'll be his game plan.
I only hope that my boats can take a plasma broadside or two...
His Tauroxes are also pretty scary, but thankfully they're in "bullet-hose" mode (i.e. only THIRTY or so S4 shots) rather than anti-tank.  But, there's a LOT of those little trucks.

Setup: We take turns setting up and I castle hard in the middle with birds to protect me from a seize possibility.  The Archon with Warriors in the Raider in the Front, Harlies with their Starweavers behind him and the Ravagers to the flanks.  Thiel and Star were in the center amongst the big boats.
My opponent set up a bit more carefully, knowing that he would go second due to his ENORMOUS number of drops, but sets up his Knight in the center with Tauroxes trying to stay out of Lance range in the corner pockets.

The Scions failed to seize and the game was on!

Picture Caption: Hey we have the same number of models! His are just... probably better than mine.  Hmm...  Hope that Dark Light got the upgrade that they were rumored to have!


To Be Continued!

Well that was fun, I particularly enjoyed the imagery of O'Keefe putting an end to the Knight Errant and I'm glad that Saigo made a solid impact of her own.

I suppose the loss of blast templates makes the Earthshaker Cannons somewhat less risky as you can no longer scatter off onto your own men, they're almost like snipers against large targets now, I like to imagine the shells striking the Knights around the shoulders and exploding there, that'd explain the lack of casualties on the ground.

As always you've got some great characters and I love the writing, particularly with the Baron. I'd love to read some interaction between him and O'Keefe at some stage, given that they'll be working together now it shouldn't be too unfeasible.

Congrats on the win, I almost didn't expect you to pull this one off. I eagerly await the next one.

Job's a good un!

Thank you for the kind words Cammerz!
I really do like the Baron and O'Keefe working together, so I'm glad you are too.
The arty is really, really good in this edition, and they're a lot safer...
I didn't know you were a Saigo fan, but I'll keep her around too :)
I really thought I wasn't go to pull this one off, and although it looks like it wasn't that close, it was literally got down to the last wound on taking those knights down.

At the risk of sounding needy, will this be updated soon? I'm looking forward to reading the report.

Real life kicked 'Toof hard in the shins.


But, now I'm back!

Thread updating soon...

I've got the next few games ready too (Dark Eldar!) so that should hopefully shorten the delay.

Thanks for the patience!

Sorry for pestering you. I hope whatevers going on in real life is all sorted now, or gets sorted soon.

Now, on to the report!

Did you reference wonder woman using O'Keefe?  :D

Great batrep as usual. Those ogryn really looked dangerous. What did their save get to in the end?

Glad to see rough riders aren't useless any more. I spent way too much money converting Scout bikers for mine.

On an unrelated topic, my GW is running a campaign for the Fate of Konor thing. As part of it they asked us to send them some fluff about our characters on facebook. I may have based my Tau Coldstar Commander and fireblade on Maximus and Sigmund.

Thanks for the reply Mabbz,
Sharp eyes, that was a Wonder Woman reference.
I loved that Movie.  Diana has been a character that I've really loved through the years and I was glad that she finally got her chance to shine.  Though not a perfect movie, it's easily my top 5, and I highly advocate going with your girlfriends for a great girls' night out.
In any case, don't worry at all about poking me, I was really lost for a bit and the rep really did brighten my day (finally get to make something instead of just grinding metaphorical gears all day...)
And I'm really honoured you decided to emulate Maximus and Sigmund.  They're great characters and I hope you do wonderfully.



Please forgive any mistakes, but please let me know what they are!

First game with IG and all...

Enjoy and let me know what you liked/didn't like/words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!


Turn 1: Imperial Knights

Lord Godfrey Highland of House Terryn shook his head at the straggling band of Guardsmen that stood across the field from him.  There was no glory in this fight.  There was no honor.  This would be a slaughter.

"Morgaine," he said gruffly over the comms, "Are you certain that you relayed the terms of the surrender properly?"

There was an exasperated sigh and the high-pitched voice of Countess Morgaine Ironwood came over the lines, "Yes, Lord Godfrey, their response was, and I quote, 'If you lot want to give up, that's fine, but yer missin' a hell of a scrap.'"

A snort broke into the conversation as Darian Lightward, Knight Errant, spoke, "I daresay Morgaine, your tone probably put them off.  Heavens knows it does with me.  Godfrey, these people, as misguidedly loyal to the Emperor they might be, are in our way.  House Terryn expects this planet to be under our control and this rabble is certainly not.  Let us just crush them under our heels and be done with it."

Godfrey grunted.  The younger man was insolent, having barely earned the right to sit in the chair of Knight, much less to speak to the Countess in such a manner.  But, he wasn't entirely wrong.

"Very well," said the elder Knight pilot, "We've given them their due opportunity to avoid this mess.  Let's at least make it quick."


The Errant advances forwards, looking menacingly at my front line.
The Paladin goes to line up shots at the Basilisks.  The Crusader shuffles over to try and get shots at the Basilisks as well, but is too far.
The Paladin opens up on the arty, but the shots don't do very much.
The rest of the fire goes towards the Tank Commander, but the big tank holds firm (barely).
Stubbers start to cut apart the Conscripts in the front.

Then, the Errant decides purely on a whim to try to assault the Conscripts.

And with a MASSIVE roll, it succeeds!

I then realize that O'Keefe is a few inches too far away, as the Conscripts get sucked into assault and almost half are stomped to death.
The rest of the Conscripts are then removed during morale and the Knights gain FIRST BLOOD.

Picture Caption: Man, that... really sucked.

Turn 1: Imperial Guard
"Commissar!  Commissar!"

O'Keefe didnn't need to turn as he heard the rushed footsteps of Seneschal Hawkins behind him.

"Something on your mind, Hawkins?"

Jack stumbled to a stop, brushing past a few mostly maimed Conscripts who were fleeing the field.
"The day is lost Commissar, we have to leave the field?"

Lord Commissar O'Keefe stirred slightly and Jack sudenly realized that he had potentially insulted a man who was given the Emperor's allowance to bolt pistol him at the slightest grievance.  But, instead of confrontation, the Commissar just let go with a hardy chuckle.

"Lost?  Lad, we have them just where we want them.  Hilda!"

Bone'Ead Hilda jumped to full attention and let go with a howitzer of spittle and bawling.


The ground rumbled and Jack tried to keep his balance as a tidle wave of Ogryn slammed into the huge Knight.  The Titan wobbled a bit and then the Ogryn started to smash into one of it's legs.  Heavy Power Mauls did their work and the massive machine fell to one knee.

Jack heard a sharp ringing sound and saw the Priestess, a strange Attalian dressed in blue, ringing a small bell.  The sound filled him with a odd sense of calmness and he was startled when O'Keefe spoke.

"Good enough.  Hilda!  SHIELD!"

The Bone'Ead nodded, dropping down and raising up her Slabshield.  Then, with amazing speed, Lord Commissar O'Keefe ran forward, raising his Power Fist.  As he hit the shield, the Ogryn underneath lifted, sending the Commissar high and into the face of the kneeling Knight.

Jack watched the tiny, glowing man hit the Knight with a lightning bolt of an attack and there was a might explosion.

Looking away, he was shocked to hear laughing and twisted around to see O'Keefe being put down by the Ogryn who had caught the man.  Refractor field trembling, the Commissar lit a new cigar on the burning rubble of titan and looked defiantly at the other two Knights downfield.

Perhaps they had a chance after all...

Right, enough's enough.

I have two choices.  I can roll over now or just pray I can get enough wounds on the Errant in hopes that mass plasma can save me.
Since 'Toof has never been the roll over and die type, I decide to go for broke and just push up all the infantry.
I drop in the Baron and the Stormtroopers (er... Scions) around the Knight for extra plasma goodness.
Jenna puts a +1 armor buff (+1 save??) on the Ogryn.

Shooting is fairly impressive as I let go with orders and the Conscripts put out about ONE HUNDRED shots (4 shots EACH) and do... about four unsaved wounds to the Knight.  The Basilisks and Punisher manage to knock it down to just under half.
Baron's crew then outdoes that by getting about the same number of wounds with just plasma.  But, that still leaves all three Knights up who, although wounded, will be pounding my face in shortly.

So... with not a little bit of trepadation I move O'Keefe and the Ogryn up to assault.
The Ogryn absorb overwatch with ease and then put everyone to shame by getting about TWENTY of the attacks to hit.  O'Keefe also hits with almost all of his attacks and in end then end, the Errant is BROUGHT DOWN (and thankfully doesn't blow up), though just barely.

Picture Caption: Did... O'Keefe just punch out a Knight??

Turn 2: Imperial Knight
"Morgaine!  Take the Backfield!"

Countess Morgaine twisted in her cabin, putting out the flames that burst from her control panel.

Damnable Guard, they had set up a trap and Darian had fallen right into it.

"Godfrey!  I'll take care of them, you hold the front!  We'll make them pay for Darian!"

The Knight player is taken aback by the loss of the Errant, but realizes that all that plasma has to go.
The Crusader moves over and single handidly almost destroys all of the Scions (man, that thing has a LOT of guns).
The Paladin fires shots at the Ogryn, but their massive save just bounces off the shots.
The Knight tries an assault, but is just a bit short.

Picture Caption: Ouch, I shouldn't have put the Scions so close I guess.

Turn 2: Imperial Guard
How did this happen? thought Baron Oberheim.  This was clearly not his fault.

His Scions had hit with precision and even though he had said with some trepidation and not nearly enough confidence that his plasma squads could destroy a Knight, the latter was clearly armed with some sort of heretical upgrades that kept his squads from doing their duty.
Anything else was unacceptable.

Panting, he ran into cover and swore to himself.  If anyone knew that he had done the sensible, but somewhat unmanly thing of moving to a more secure location, he would not hear the end of it.  Luckily, there wasn't a chance of...

A whinny brought his eyes to the back of the ruins and a squad of familiar horses with barely washed riders waved at him.

Emperor help me, the Baron thought, how did these things keep happening to him?


Well, second time's the charm right?
I move up everyone else again, but I do have to move the Punisher up as it's out of range.
I also move the Baron out and he orders himself to double move into the corner out of sight.  I decide to also bring out Lady Saigo in the backfield to protect the Baron and coincidentally ensure Behind Enemy Lines.
Jenna's buff goes off well again.

Shooting is sadly more lackluster.  I do some damage to the Paladin, but not nearly enough.  The Ogryn then charge in, but O'Keefe wiffs his charge and the big guys just don't do enough damage, managing to bring the Paladin down to around half its wounds, but then the Knight hits back and rips apart a few of the Ogryn.

Picture Caption: That did... not go as planned.

Turn 3: Imperial Knights
Lord Godfrey roared with satisfaction as his Reaper Chainsword cut another one of the brutes in half.  Darian would have his revenge this day.

Glancing at his readouts, he saw that Morgaine had done her duty in the backfield.
All they needed to do was just hold out and grind them down...

The Crusader goes over to root the Baron out of hiding and the Paladin walks out of the assault (oh yeah... they can do that...).
Mass shooting goes into the Ogryn, but they weather the storm, but just barely.
The Paladin assaults in and rips apart all but Hilda, who does no damage, but holds the line!

Picture Caption: Man, can Ogryn take a BEATING.

Turn 3: Imperial Guard
"Come out here and die like a man!"

Countess Morgaine sighed as the Guardsman she had chased into the ruins failed to emerge.  Taunting was a last resort, but her Crusader was barely holding together and the last thing she wanted was to risk a knee actuator stomping through a roof.
But, if the situation needed it...

Then, a strange sound came over her comms, and she shook her head.

It must have been static, but she could have sworn it sounded like a horse...


If you can't win with substance, win with numbers.
I pull Hilda out of assault and move up the Conscripts.  I also move Lady Saigo out of cover to try and delay the Crusader.

Shooting is kind of lackluster, but it's enough to chip off some wounds from the Paladin, but I get a surprising number of hits from the Basilisks, which shatter the Crusader, leaving it on just a few wounds.

In assault, I bury the Paladin in Conscripts.  The Conscripts get +1 attack from the Priestess and actually do a wound while the Paladin stomps some of them back.
Lady Saigo then charges in and I find out with some surprise that Rough Riders now have TWO wounds.  The horses brave the Heavy Flamer and manage to stick just enough Hunting Lances in to fell the Crusader.

Picture Caption: Lady Saigo did WHAT?

At this point, the game is pretty over, but my opponent goes though the motions, stomping Conscripts while I go to camp objectives.

We call the game at the end of Turn 5, with the Paladin still ringed in by my tiny men.

RESULT: Imperial Guard Victory!


Post-Game Thoughts: Wow, are Guard different.

The stars of the show were the Ogryn, who did great but then meh, but the first attack really did a number on them.
But, they wouldn't be able to do that without having buffs from Jenna, the Priestess, and O'Keefe and that's a lot of points tied up...

The Conscripts were fun tarpits at the end, but boy did they fall apart turn one when I had misplaced them.

The Basilisks also deserve mention as they did solid damage on the big Knights each turn and once parked behind cover were kind of ignored.

Surprisingly, the Scions didn't do that much damage and kind of fell apart too easy, although I probably misused them...

And of course, I did find it hilarious that Lady Saigo was able to put the candle on the cake by proving that Rough Riders can still do something...

This was a lot to digest and I hope it was at least an interesting read...

Comments and Critiques are greatly appreciated!

Oh, and btw... ELDAR are NEXT.


Jack stared in awe as the last Knight quit the field, knocking off the Conscripts clutching to its legs with ease.

They had just done the impossible.

"Not entirely impossible, Jack."

The voice brought him out of his shock-filled reverie and he saw Lady Jenna, looking downfield at Lord Commissar O'Keefe with his Ogryn celebrating with the Conscripts, Lady Saigo and a bedraggled looking Baron Oberheim.

"They are a rather odd bunch, but then again, aren't we all?"

Her tone of voice brought a quiver of fear over his spine and Jack muttered, "Captain... You can't be entertaining the thought of bringing them with us, are you?"

"It would be rather rude to force them to stay, Jack.  The Knight will be back and without our help, even the mighty Seamus O'Keefe won't win that day."

Realizing that it was all but set in stone, Jack proffered, "But... there's a chance they won't agree..."

Then, as if on cue, O'Keefe shot a smirk in his direction and Jack could feel Lady Jenna respond to it in a way that made his very being spark with jealousy.

"Jack, I think that'll be the least of our worries..."


Proof of work!


Hmm, 8th is a lot different for setup.
You alternate dropping units down.
I put the Baron and all in reserve, so that was my required 3 as my opponent put his Errant front and center flanked by the Paladin and more shooty Knight.
I had managed to get the side with two objectives in the corner, there was one in my opponent's backfield and one in the center of the board.
I put the Bastilisks in cover (2+ save?  I'll take that) very well obscured by ruins and then filled the rest of my space with Conscripts with a center of Ogryn and Characters scattered around with one Commissar to each flank and Jack and Jenna near the front (but not... too close).  O'Keefe and the Priestess went behind the Ogryn.
I... once again failed to seize and the game began!

(Slight pause as I work on the other rounds...  C&C if you like!)


At the risk of sounding needy, will this be updated soon? I'm looking forward to reading the report.

Real life kicked 'Toof hard in the shins.


But, now I'm back!

Thread updating soon...

I've got the next few games ready too (Dark Eldar!) so that should hopefully shorten the delay.

Thanks for the patience!


Lady Jenna vs Imperial Knights in "When Seamus met Jenna..." (1500)

Hi All,
You may all be wondering what's keeping the next rep, and the honest answer is that I've been having a hard time making a list.

Reading all of the FAQs and internet conventional wisdoms, I saw that shooty guard seemed to be the way to go, but the game didn't support making my old lists.
Squads were all ten-man, you couldn't blob up, and my commanders felt pretty naked without the disposable bodies they could previously hide in.

Then, it hit me in a whisky-filled nightmare that involved me as Hermione Granger promising her friends that she'd never marry someone as weasley as Ron Weasley and if she did, she'd give her children proper names like Emma and certainly not plain or unimaginative names like Rose or Hugo.

A shadow loomed over us and children went screaming as the gigantic figure of Lord Commissar Seamus O'Keefe blotted out the sun.


"Well, I sputtered," doing my best to keep the enormous bolt pistol holstered, "It's harder than it looks you know.  Everyone wants Lady Jenna, but she doesn't have her old powers and all the websites say that you should just take plasma, conscripts and arty with spam on the side."

"AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?" said the giant, producing a foul-smelling cigar the size of a battleship.

"I...  I'd like to get stuck in once in a while, really."


"I...  I can't do that Seamus.  There'd be riots.  Virtual riots, but riots nonetheless."

There was a laughter that made the ground shake, "NOT JUST ME.  PUT JENNA IN TOO.  AND THAT BALD-HEADED LAD THAT EVERYONE LIKES."

"Wait...  Jenna and the Baron?  But...  The Baron's still with the genestealers and Jenna's a psyker and..."




Then a huge clump of ash the size of a house fell on me and I woke up.

And then...  I made this monstrosity of a list.

So...  You requested it, so here it is.

1500 points.

Lady Jenna.

But, with guest star Lord Commissar Seamus O'Keefe!

I've built a list of things the interwebs dubbed decent, with a smattering of things I had to try out.

(AKA Bullgryn?  Madness!)

My opponent has brought out his sort-of-tried and true Imperial Knight list.

Knights are pretty nasty this edition and besides the fact that they really can't do well on objective missions, they are hella killy.

I only hope I can do well enough to make this one a close affair. (ah... phrasing...)

So how did Jenna and Seamus do?

Was there epic battling or was it just a shameless beatdown?

Read. On.


P.S.  Fluff first for mass conjecture, then rep!

Guards, Guards and Guns (1500): 111 Infantry 3 Vehicles; 9CPS
Lady Jenna's Marauders (Battalion Detachment)
-Lady Jenna Mordheim (Primaris Psyker w/Force Staff)
-Seneschal Jack Hawkins (Company Commander)
-Baron von Oberheim (Tempestus Prime w/Power Sword, Command Rod)
-Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (Scionsx4 w/Plasmaguns)
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol
-Tempestus Scionsx5 w/Plasmagunsx2, Plasma Pistol
-Lady Saigo's Rough Riders (Rough Ridersx10 w/Hunting lances)
The 2nd Auric Battalion AKA O'Keefe's Hellions (Battalion Detachment)
-Lord Commissar Seamus O'Keefe (Lord Commissar w/Bolt Pistol, Power Fist)
-Tank Commander w/Punisher Cannon, Heavy Boltersx3
-Priestess Yuki Mishima (Priest w/Power Maul)
-Bone'ead Hilda's Numskulls (Bullgrynx5 w/Bullgryn Mauls, Slabshields 210)
-Commissar w/Bolt Pistol
-Commissar w/Bolt Pistol
-Basilisk w/Earthshaker Cannon, Heavy Bolter
-Basilisk w/Earthshaker Cannon, Heavy Bolter

Questor Imperialis AKA Imperial Knights (1500): 3 LoW (SH Detachment); CP 6
Knight Paladin w/Reaper Chainsword, Rapid-fire Battle Cannon, Heavy Stubbersx2, Ironstorm missile pod
Knight Crusader w/Avenger Gatling Cannon, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Stubber, Heavy Flamer, Twin Icarus Autocannon
Knight Errant w/Reaper Chainsword, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Stubber, Stormspear Rocket Pod


Chapter One: A Rose By Any Other Name

Seneschal Jack Hawkins didn't like any of this affair.  It was bad enough to have to rescue Baron von Oberheim and Lady Saigo from a band of lunatic Genestealers, but it was something entirely else to decide to interfere with an ongoing conflict by a total madman.

Jack glanced over the hastily thrown-together Imperial Guard camp that made up one of the last reserves of Imperial presence on Acix IV.  It was clear that the "famed" Battalion had seen better days and the men lining the walls were barely soldiers.  Their armour was ill-fitting, their demeanor unprofessional and he had sworn that one man had his bayonet on backwards.  How they had held on for so long against any opposition was mind-boggling. 

He took a sidelong gaze at his Captain, the Lady Jenna Mordheim.  She was clearly also having some polite gesticulating at the locals, her perfect platinum blonde hair twirling slightly in the breeze.  The men around her gave off toothy, lustful grins and it took all of Jack's internal grit not to knock those looks off their faces.  But, Jenna was wearing one of her nicest dresses and she had a body that Jack knew could even make the most stalwart ignore the covertly kept psi-inhibitors in the collar.

Lady Jenna Mordheim was one of the most powerful psykers in the sector, and if she needed to, Jack was sure she could turn any of the ponces inside-out.  But, that would be rude, and rather unseemly to their hosts.  Still, the thought did cross his mind and Jenna sighed and gave him a somewhat disappointed look with her piercing violet eyes.  Jack blushed and reminded himself that stray thoughts around a telepath weren't often kept to oneself.

As they neared the officers' tent, he took a moment to straighten the overdone-looking Seneschal uniform and kick the mud out of his heels.  So, he wasn't looking up and almost ran straight into the enormous Ogryn guarding the tent flap.  Jack hadn't seen it around the corner, and it took his mind a few moments to fathom what he was looking at.  The monster was nearly two men's height and wider than three with a face that only a mother could love.  Standard Ogryn fare really, but the pigtails and spattering of white paint on the cheeks that could only pass as horribly failed attempts at makeup were what was throwing him.  Jack had thought that Ogryn must have had females in order to reproduce, but it was one of things you tried not to think about, like what the Warp was really like if you stood outside the Geller Field.

The enormous thing snorted, looked down and said in a growling voice, "Officerz only."

Jack paused and then stammered, "Uh...  We're... Ummm..."

Then, he almost gasped when he saw Lady Jenna step forward and place a delicate hand on the Ogryn's arm.  "Hello, my name's Jenna.  I believe we're expected."

The Ogryn paused, looked up and stuck it's tongue out, clearly trying to remember a detail that was deeply ensconced inside the shell-sized casing of a skull.

Then, when Jack was almost certain that all was lost, a booming voice from inside said, "Hilda!  Don't let our guests wait too long.  Let them in!"

The Ogryn nodded, and said, "You got it Keefer!" before parting to the side and allowing Jack and Jenna passage into the quite-packed tent.

Jack entered first, stepping over half-opened crates containing shells and ammo and paused when he saw the imposing figure smoking a foul-smelling cigar.  A peaked hat and dark greatcoat made him easily recognizable as a commissar and the stern, scarred visage of a man aged to Imperium perfection stared back with a twisted grin.

The Seneschal coughed and started to recite his prepared speech.  "Ah, yes.  Greetings and well met, honored Lord Commissar we are..."

And that was when Jenna stepped forward and said in a barely-heard whisper, "Seamus?"

The Commissar blinked a few times and then walked forward, taking off his hat and taking the cigar out of his mouth.  His voice turned down from it's previous roar and almost human-sounding words came out, "Jenna?  Is that you?"

Seamus O'Keefe took the Captain's hand and a few quiet moments passed as they stared at each other with a familiarity that made Jack's hands itch.

Finally, Jack coughed to break the moment and said, "I take it you two know each other?"

Jenna blushed, and pulled her hand back.  The Commissar shook his head as if waking from a dream.

Jenna nodded and said, "Yes...  we've... met."

O'Keefe muttered in half-astonishment still staring at Jenna, "You...  you haven't changed at all."

The Captain was about to respond when Jack interjected, "Well, then I'm glad we've had this chance to become reaquainted.  You distress call, Lord Commissar, we heard it and came.  We can evacuate you and your men."

The Commissar blinked and then let out a hearty laugh, slapping Jack on the back with a casual blow that nearly bowled him over.

"Evacuate?  No, lad, nothing of the sort.  The Soriatus left a while ago for some sort of crusade or what-not, and we found out there was this scuffle involved with some heretics.  Nearly have them sorted out."


"Yes, lad.  I've still got men and guns and they've got us surrounded."

"Wait... that's sorting them out?"

"Of course, lad.  Hard for them to run away if they're readying to pounce on you.  The call was for anyone to join in for the glory."

"Commissar, you are aware that there's Knight-Titans on the field?"

"Of course lad.  Means that we've got them outnumbered."

"I...  I..."

"A moment, Jack?"

Jack turned to see Lady Jenna in the corner of the tent, a hand on her lips indicating that she needed his attention.  Nodding politely at the Commissar, Jack stepped over to his Captain.

"Jack, you're not going to be able to convince him.  Seamus has never been reasonable in that way."

"But, they're going to be massacred.  He has to see that.  For the good of his people we have to..."

"Jack, what did you see out there?"

"In the camp?  A bunch of raw recruits with surplus gear fighting a war they cannot possibly win."

"And did they look downtrodden?  Hopeless?"

"Well...  Now that you mention it... no."

"That's what this war means to them.  For them, this is a final chance to fulfill their duty and prove that their life has meaning.  To simply force them to leave would be a fate worse than death for them."

"But, it's..."

"Weren't you the same, when you were in the Guard?"

Jack paused, as old ideological memories came flooding back in, the pride of seeing the Aquila, the first time he brought down a rampaging war machine, the cries of victory.

Jenna nodded as if appreciating the memories.  "So you see, Jack, we're going to have to help them.  Seamus...  I owe him that much..."

Looking down, Jack started to see a tear forcing it's way out of his Captain's eye, and he was about to brush it away when the tent flap was torn open and the Ogryn stuck her head in.


O'Keefe laughed, putting his cap back on and his cigar in his mouth.  "Good, right on schedule."

The Commissar stomped over and threw an arm around Jack and Jenna.
"Come on now you two, we've got a war to win!"


Pre-Game Thoughts: Wow, Guard are different in 8th.
I've got a lot of infantry.  But, they're not high quality.
Except for the Storm Troopers...  I mean Tempestus Scions.  (Why must everything be so wordy, GW?)
Hopefully, I can keep them busy with throw-away units and then run out the clock.  I just hope we don't actually have to count on taking down a knight (two dozen 3+ save T8 wounds???), but you never know.
I have no idea how half the units in my army will work, but that's why we're playing...

Mission: Retrieval (4 objectives)
Setup: Spearhead Assault
Jenna: Gaze of the Emperor, Psychic Barrier, Smite
Jenna: Tenacious survivor (ignores wounds on a 6)
Paladin: Legendary fighter (+1 attack if charging)


To be continued!

Yeah... Saw that coming. I've used the exact same tactic a couple times, and it absolutely demolishes tightly-packed deployments. Looks like 8th is all gonna be about buff bubbles and area denial.

Fun to read, though!

Thanks for the reply Waaaghpower!
I really did like playing the game, but oof was it brutal.
I do worry about anti-tank for the Orks especially fliers as it looks like that could be a serious issue.
Is there anything in particular Ork-wise that you've found especially interesting/good?

I was a bit surprised by the lack of replies.
I hope it's a "no news=good news" thing, but perhaps I should bring out a different faction?  (i.e. Eldar or IG?)


Thank you all for the kind words!
It's good to be back.
Replies first thent he rest of the rep!

Based off of the half-dozen or so games I've played in 8th so far...

This ain't gonna go so well for the Space Marines. Unless I'm way off the mark here, that's simply not enough firepower to deal with that volume of Boyz. Gravcannons aren't suited to kill Tanks anymore with S5, and lack volume of fire to kill Ork Boyz...
I dunno. Maybe if he has a really good first turn and you manage to whiff Da Jump or your post-jump Charge...

I guess I'll just wait and see. But my teef are on the Orks.

Hi Waaaghpower,
You're not wrong.  Grav just can't cut it like it used to and Horde Ork is actually viable (scarily enough).
Let me know what you think of the rep!

Yay! You're back!

NEW Orks (1500): 80 Infantry, 3 Vehicles; 7 CPs (Battalion and Spearhead)
Ex-Farseer Lorilune (Weirdboy)
Axl Da Goff Rokka (Weirdboy)
Tankbustasx5 w/Rokkits, Boss Nob, Bomb Squig
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, Choppas, Boss Nob
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, Choppas, Boss Nob
Battlewagon w/Deffrolla
Big Mek Wingnut on Warbike w/KFF
Battlewagon w/Deffrolla
Gorkanaut BigToof (Deffstorm mega-shoota, 2 Rokkits, 2 Twin Big shootas, Skorcha)

NEW Ultramarines (1500): 27 Infantry, 4 Vehicles; 6 CPs
Captain on Bike w/Thunder Hammer
Librarian on Bike, Force Sword
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Bikersx5 w/Gravgunsx2
Centurionsx3 w/Gravcannons, Hurricaine Bolters
Devestatorsx5 w/MLx4

That looks... decidedly mismatched. Maybe I'm wrong (I haven't really seen the new Ork or Space Marine rules) but are you sure that's actually equal points? The Marines look significantly outnumbered and outgunned, kinda like my first game of 8th, where I didn't realise I had to pay for basic equipment but my oppponent did. Or perhaps you've missed something off the SM list, it does say 4 vehicles when I only count 3.

Not that it matters much, I'd be rooting for an Ork win even if you had half the forces.

Hi Mabbz,
The Marines are scarily outgunned and outmanned, but you know, Orks and all.
I'm not off on my points as far as I know, but Orks stayed about the same while SM mech became hella more expensive.
i.e. 110 pt. Razorbacks??
Hope you like the rep!

Nothing could make me happier than the return of Big Louie.

Welcome back BT, hopefully this impending win will be the first of many new battle reports.

Hi Cammerz,
Perhaps you know me too well :)
I was so glad fluff-wise that Weirdboys are still worthwhile so I can keep Lorilune and BigToof has a new role.
I'm not set yet on my list, but I'm hope you like this one.
More are DEFINITELY to come.


Pre-Game Thoughts: Huh, that's not a lot of Marines.  My opponent had some not-so-kind words about the costs of vehicles (they should be "free" after all?) and said that he would take grav just to see how good it is.
I, on the other hand, have a lot of math-hammer on my side and the potential for some dirty tricks, but I have NO idea as to how well it will work.

Deployment: Wow, is deployment different.
We take turns to deploy units and whoever deploys FIRST gets to choose to go first or second.

Mentally counting my units, I am CLEARLY going second.

The Marines start deploying first and put a Razorback on the hill.  I counter by putting BigToof on the hill (hi!).  My opponent clearly has some concerns about the big guy as he castles up near the center with all of his units lined up to fire with the Bikes in the front.  My mates end up a bit more spread out, with the Battlewagons flanking 'Toof and Louie and Axl in the back with the two big units of boys near them.  I decide to let the Grotz chill in the right flank with orders to advance if things start looking really grim.
I (not surprisingly) fail to seize initiative and we're off to the races!

Picture Caption: These boyz in my backfield?  Don't worry about them.  Nothing sinister at all I reckon!

Turn 1: Ultramarines

Captain Excelsior Maximus stood mouth agape looking at the rusting beheamoth that stood at the front of the Ork line.

"Sigmund!  What is that thing?"

Librarian Novenus checked the most recent surveys that were, as usual to most Orkish creations, rather disturbing.  "It appears to be some kind of Orkish Knight, sir."

Maximus gasped in surprise and then narrowed his eyes in disgust.  "It's an abomination, it's what it is.  FIRE EVERYONE!  FIRE!"


The Bikes move to my left trying to go for a potential flank and then the firepower of everything within range goes at BigToof.  But, with a bit of Orky luck (AKA my opponent rolls not so great) I take a few shots, but it's not enough to slow the big guy down!

Picture Caption: OPERATION DISTRACTION CARNIFEX is a success!

Turn 1: Orks
Massive amounts of firepower sailed through the air and lanced into the enormous hide of the Gorkanaut.  A shudder ran through the machine and chunks of mostly soldered-on metal flew off, making Big Mek Wingnut yelp and hide behind his bike.  The shimmering Kustom Forcefield held on though and the Gorkanaut, though damaged, seemed mostly intact.

BigToof's voice rumbled out of the speakers in the Gorkanaut,

Wingnut nodded, realized after a few moments that the massive Kan didn't see him and then yelled out, "Yeah!  Go fer it!"



Lorilune held onto her staff as the ground trembled with each massive footfall.  Clearly the Mon-Keigh were distracted.  Now for her masterstroke.
"Team One!  Be ready!  Axl, release your Warp charge!"

A strange grating sound went through the air, and Lorilune looked over as the strange ebon-clad Ork dropped a pair of dark spectacles over his eyes and began to strum on the wires strung across his staff.  A howling wail came out, causing Lorilune to hold onto her ears in torment, but her eyes widened with surprise as she saw the reaction from the Orks around her.  A strange greenish energy began to build up within them and they began to bob their heads and stamp their feet.

Cries of "Yeah, dat's right!" and "Orks is made fer rokkin'!" filled the air and then Axl turned a few screws on his staff and began to visciously strum the ramshackle instrument with sweat flinging from his body.  A rumbling growl came out from both staff and Ork who began to howl out non-sensicle profanities and growls.

Lorilune tried to keep something deep within her from tapping its foot along in time.  The Orks around her, though, were less restrained and the Orks began to throw themselves against each other and shoot their Sluggas into the air while screaming with barely-contained mayhem.

The largest and most dangerous mosh-pit of all time soon manifested and Lorilune smirked as she felt the power of the WAARGH! build up onto her fingertips.  If the Orks liked Axl's little trick then they would love what would be coming up next...


Time for trickery!  (hopefully)

My big three move forward and Louie and Axl skitter about readying their psychic power.
Both Warpath and Da Jump go off (giving both a few wounds with perils) and THIRTY BOYZ suddenly appear on the left flank of the Marines.

The Tankbustas release Lucky the Bomb Squig, who, with the now re-rolling Rokkits(!), slam into the left-most Razorback, detonating it and damaging the surrounding squads.
The Lootas take down two  bikes and BigToof shoots wildly into the Devestators, whittling them down to just a few Marines.

Then we go to assault.  I need 9" to get in.  I roll for charge aiming at both of the Razorbacks and Devestators.  Overwatch is thankfully not very painful, and with a command point, the Orks MAKE their charge and get stuck in!  (Re-rolling a single die on 2d6 is very, very nice).

My opponent's jaw drops when I tell him that the Sluggas get FIVE attacks each and are now S4 (lovely buff from 8th), which easily wipes away the Devs and almost tears apart one Razorback and takes some wounds off the last Razorback.  Consolidation lets me rope in the Centurions.

Picture Caption: SURPRISE!

Turn 2: Ultramarines
"This is inconceivable!"

Captain Maximus was waving his Thunder Hammer as a veritable rain of crazed Orks began to rain from a gigantic portal in the sky.  He had raced forwards on his bikes to try and push them back, but it was far too little too late.

The green tide descended on the Marines next to him and Maximus could only shake his head in shock as Orks of every kind and size were overrunning his position!  How cruel and unfair the universe could be! he thought as he smashed the skulls of the Orks around him.  If only Sigmund had warned him of such atrocity!

My opponent is clearly rattled, but he wants to try and do some damage.

Everyone who can (not the very badly damaged surrounded Razorback as he can't clear the horde he's surrounded in) falls back, meaning that the Razorback and Centurions can't fire but won't suffer the hits back.  Maximus moves up to assault and the Bikes try and slow down the Tankbustas.

The Bikes find that Grav isn't very good against Battlewagons and then charge in to do... no damage.  The Battlewagon hits back (yes, that's something they do now) and my opponent finds out that Wagons with Rollas are quite dangerous, mowing down one bike with glee.
Maximus squishes some Orks, suffers a few wounds back and then the Boyz finish off the Razorback, destroying the squad inside and then move towards the beleaguered Captain.

Picture Caption: FALL BACK!

Turn 2: Orks

Lorilune and Axl do their magic again (thankfully without perils this time) and shoot the last big squad over behind the Marines to sandwich them in.  Shooting takes down the last of the Centurions.

BigToof assaults in and peels the last bikes off the Battlewagon and the new Warpath'd up
The Boyz MAKE their assault (again with a command point) and then go to surround the Razorback, severely damaging it and nigh-surrounding the last Tac squad.

Maximus takes some more wounds as he bonks the heads off some more Orks.

Picture Caption: SECOND WAVE GO!

And that's where we call it.



Post-Game Thoughts: By Gork and Mork that was ugly!

Big Louie's Warpath and Jump combo is just as nasty as I thought it was going to be.  FIVE S4 attacks per Ork is just crazy and the charge distance (though it seemed far) was actually not impossible with Command Points as you can keep a high-rolled die (like a five or six) and then re-roll the other die to make the distance.  Worked pretty well and having so many Orks suddenly manifest on your flank really changes the dynamic of the game.

Tankbustas are still hella solid.  I was worried that they would lose their teeth as Tanks are just so sturdy now, but now that they have re-rolls and Rokkits do THREE wounds each, you don't need so many hits to bring a tank down.  Plus, tanks are so pricey, you don't see AS many as you used to.

Lootas are pretty decent as there's a lot of 2 wound models out there (bikes, etc) and forcing saves at -1 actually makes them useful.  Lootas in Battlewagons are pretty nice, as the Battlewagon's special rules makes it so the Lootas don't suffer movement penalties.

And last, but not least, is my DISTRACTION CARNIFEX Bigtoof.
The big guy actually didn't DO that much, but he put wounds on people here and there and just tanked so many shots that could have crippled my army.  KFF still works wonders! (thanks Wingnut!)  Oh, yes, and he does hit like a boss as the Bikes didn't stand a chance.

Looking forward to the next game!

Let me know if there's something you want me to see on the board, as I think the future will be Orky!


Ex-Farseer Lorilune surveyed the war-torn battlefield from the confines of her perfumed soaking tub.  It was the proper reward for a half-decent battle.  Although the Orks tried their best to sabotage her wondrous plan, even they could fall into the simple yet devious mechanization that she had devised.  Indeed it had turned out to be a good day.

Then, the roof to her small room room rumbled, and Lorilune dived underneath the water as the entire ceiling ripped free.
An enormous pair of luminous eyes looked down at her as she sputtered back to the surface, wiping suds and her composure out of her eyes.

"'EY LOUIE!" roared BigToof, "I DONE FOUND YOU!  I FINK WE WON!"

Snarling, Lorilune felt the Orkish energy form around her and it took a great deal of concentration to keep it from bubbling her water away.

"Yes, we've won.  Now let me be!  This is only a temporary solution to our problems.  The Mon-Keigh will return so it is best if we take what we have won for now."

The large machine shuddered and turned it's head this way and that.  Then, with a gesture that somewhat mimed embarrassment it said in a rumbling whisper, "UH, LOUIE, DID I DO GOOD?"

Lorilune sighed, weighed her options and considered the best reponse that would allow her a moment's respite.
"Yes, yes, you did well.  Now can you go off and do whatever it is that you were doing very very far away from here?"

BigToof clapped his enormous hands and turned quickly, bellowing, "'EY WINGNUT!  LOUIE DONE SAID I..."

A crash and shriek brought BigToof's attention back to the room that Big Louie had been sitting in.  He should have really put the roof down before turning around.  The now half-smashed in building was glowing with a familiar, pants-wettingly terrible green energy, and BigToof ran as fast as he could on his enormous legs.

Nobody was bigger than Big Louie.  Nobody.


Captain Excelsior Maximus was giving his report to the Battle Barge overhead.  Shaking his head, he said somberly, "I am afraid to report that the Ork numbers are far in excess than expected.  Hundreds, no thousands of the monsters descended on us from every angle.  It was only through sheer luck that I was able to survive.  We'll go back as soon as they've left to look for survivors."

"Yes, Captain," said the response from the orbital comms, "What are your orders until then?"

"We wait, dash it all.  The Orks may have won this day, but Ultrimar will have it's pound of flesh!"

Maximus then paused after a moment of thought and added, "But, in the meantime send down some of the good amasec and a treatise of Primarch Guilliman's most recent speeches.  I need to take a break.  Heavens knows I've earned it..."

NEW Orks vs NEW Ultramarines (1500pts): WELCOME TO 8TH!
Hi All,
No, it's not a fever dream.
I'm back.
And so is WAARGH! Grumgutz!
8th has brought a LOT of old faces out of the woodwork and although it's a bit of hurdle to get your mind around on paper, it's been a blast to play.
Rather, it's a really, really new game.
I found that new players actually had an easier time than people who suffered through the dying throes of 7th, as you don't have to "unlearn" all of the arcane ruleset that well... doesn't exist anymore.
And I have to say:
Orks are back with a ton of new tricks and stinker units are now quite nice.
And who best to play my new list out with than one of my old mates.
You may remember him as my somewhat detested Ultramarines rival who went all Battle Company (AKA free transports for everybody!), but now he's brought out a version of his 7th list mostly to see what he has to repaint/remodel.
I know that heartbreak well.
So, my somewhat eclectic list is against a very small Ultramarines force that seems a bit unprepared for the NEW ORK ORDER.
I'm wasn't sure if my new tricks will work, but that's what reps are for!

BTW if you all are wondering, from what I've seen 8th is FAST and BLOODY.
So, it's not a... LONG rep.  But, it's a vicious one...


P.S.  Yes, there is fluff!  Fluff out first then rep to follow, you know how it is... :)
Comments greatly appreciated!

NEW Orks (1500): 80 Infantry, 3 Vehicles; 7 CPs (Battalion and Spearhead)
Ex-Farseer Lorilune (Weirdboy)
Axl Da Goff Rokka (Weirdboy)
Tankbustasx5 w/Rokkits, Boss Nob, Bomb Squig
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, Choppas, Boss Nob
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, Choppas, Boss Nob
Battlewagon w/Deffrolla
Big Mek Wingnut on Warbike w/KFF
Battlewagon w/Deffrolla
Gorkanaut BigToof (Deffstorm mega-shoota, 2 Rokkits, 2 Twin Big shootas, Skorcha)

NEW Ultramarines (1500): 27 Infantry, 4 Vehicles; 6 CPs
Captain on Bike w/Thunder Hammer
Librarian on Bike, Force Sword
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Tactical Marinesx5 w/Gravgun in Razorback w/TLC
Bikersx5 w/Gravgunsx2
Centurionsx3 w/Gravcannons, Hurricaine Bolters
Devestatorsx5 w/MLx4


Mission: No Quarter (1VP for each unit destroyed)
Setup: Front-Line Assault

Psychic Powers:
Lorilune: Da Jump, Smite
Axl: Warpath, Smite
Librarian: Veil of Time, Might of Heroes, Smite

Wingnut: Inspiring leader (+1Ld to all within 6")
Captain: Legendary Fighter (+1 attack when charging)


Chapter One: The NEW Ork Order

"What do you mean you lot 'don't get it?'"

The screams of Ex-Farseer Lorilune echoed through the patchwork tent thrown up around the vast horde of Orks.  As "pet" of Warlord Grumgutz, the Ex-Farseer had gone through many transformations, an enlightened Farseer, Ork slave, an enlightened Farseer again, and then an abomination again.  As infuriating as her mere existance was to her, she never could underestimate the raw stupidity of the common Ork.

Lorilune felt her staff scrape across the shattered piece of slate that was holding the most simplistic variant of her master plan.  The crowd of Orks winced at the sound and a few shrinked back from her gaze.  Their terror gave her an ounce of solace, but not enough to silence her rage.

Wiping the soot that still clung to her face, Lorilune snarled as she remembered the past few days.  It had been a rather troubling start to her latest adventure when Wingnut and his monstrosity descended upon her somewhat annoying exile upon the Tau world where her former lover once lived.  A flicker of memory of passionate nights of grey skin crossed her mind with bittersweet fondness.  It was a simple time with Bang, but Lorilune knew that it was temporary.  And when the Orks came, she knew that it was time to depart for greater things.  And when they entered the Warp for transit, Wingnut had explained that Grumgutz had told them to rendezvous at an uninhabited planet for some kind of "big plan."

Everything seemed to be going to plan until they exited the Warp into a hail of warning klaxons.  It turned out that the planet wasn't uninhabited anymore and they had run facefirst into some kind of Mon-Keigh defensive array.  Their ship had taken massive damage and although they had managed to severly damage their opponent, the gravity well of the planet pulled them in.  And they had survived planetfall.  More or less.

Lorilune scowled at the tattered remains of the once beautiful dress that had taken her ages to procure.  Now, it was as savage and dirty as the rest of her.  The Orks had an near-anathema to the concept of cleanliness, so in order to find something resembling a decent bath and sauna, they were going to have to attack the nearby Imperial outpost. 
Which was going to be as simple as beating an Ork in a spelling contest, but then the damnable Marines showed up.  Apparently, the Space Marine barge had decided to send down forces of their own, and the fight was going to need some trickery to pull off as the standard Orkish tactic of running into Bolter fire wasn't going to do much.
And that was what she was trying to explain.  But the simpletons just. couldn't. understand.

"Alright.  ONE.  MORE.  TIME.  We're near the forward scouting range of the Space Marines.  No doubt they've seen signs of us and will be trying to make some kind of established forward defense to keep us in check.  However, we will circumnavigate that by doing the following:"

She paused to look at the other surviving Weirdboy, a strange Ork named Axl who had a shaggy mop of a hairsquig on his head and wore all black Goff tribe squig-leathers.  Lorilune had thought the Ork rather strange with the strange looking wires hanging off of his staff that almost resembled a musical instrument.  But, she would take what she could get.

"Step One: Our comrade Axl here will infuse you with Orkish Enhancement Energy to boost you to a desired level of combat ability.  Step Two: I will use my incredible and unmatched control of the Warp to open a Gate to the flank of the Mon-Keigh.  Step Three: You lot will charge forward and attack them and while they are flat-footed we will drive  them out."

One Ork raised his hand.

Lorilune sighed and nodded.

"So...  Axl's gonna juice us up and then we'z gonna Jump?"

"YES!" screamed Lorilune as the other Orks gave out sounds of astonished surprise and cries of "Dat's smart dat is."  Finally they understood.  Now they just needed Wingnut to hold up his side of the bargain.  A musical sounding horn brought her attention to the outside of the tent where she could hear the rumbling of something large.

Lorilune pushed past the crowd of Orks and looked at a pair of ramshackle looking Battlewagons.

Khaine's blood, she thought, it had been an age since she had ridden in one of those.  Then her nose wrinkled at the memory of how many of those had blown up rather violently.

"'Ey Louie!"

Lorilune's head jerked up as she saw Big Mek Wingnut jumping up and down proudly in the open bed of the nearest mobile scrapheap.

"I'z got us some Wagons just like you asked.  Now'z we good to go?"

A frown crossed Lorilune's face.  "This is it?  Two Battlewagons?  Are you aware that the Marines have three tanks of their own as well as a mobile force of bikes?  We'll be cut to shreds!"

"Uh, well..." sputtered Wingnut, "Dat's all the Wagons I could get.  The fall done smashed most of 'em."

"You are joking, aren't you?" jabbed Lorilune, "An entire starship and all you could muster is a lousy set of wheeled transports?"

"Well, no..." admitted Wingnut, "I did get enough ta work on BigToof."

"Oh, wonderful," said Lorilune with an extra layer of sarcasm, "You fixed up that moronic monstrosity.  How droll.  Let me guess, you made him bigger?"

"Yup!" said Wingnut, pleased to see that Big Louie was at least using happy words again, "I done did dat.  'Course I mighta overdone it a bit."

The ground trembled, knocking everyone off their feet and an enormous bellow rattled through the air.


Lorilune scrambled to her feet and gasped as an enormous... thing blocked out the sun.
Swallowing, she said to Wingnut, "Yes... yes I think that will do, Wingnut.  That will do indeed."


"Sir, may I please remind you that all of this is highly irregular."

Librarian Sigmund Novenus of the Ultramarines tried again to reason with his golden-locked superior who was humming to himself while cleaning his Thunder Hammer.
A shining gleam flicked off his perfect grin as Captain Excelsior Maximus laughed at his austere partner.  Sunshine flickered in through the verdant trees and Maximus shook his head.

"Sigmund, Sigmund, Sigmund.  My friend, you are worrying yourself to death.  After all, the Universe couldn't be better?"

Novenus raised an eyebrow, "Sir, you mean the Massive Warp Storms that have split the Imperium?  The Fall of Cadia?  The sudden appearance of an Ork WAARGH that threatens the safety of this entire sector?"

"No, no, no, Sigmund.  You're looking about this the wrong way.  The Primarch is back.  It proves that indeed, all this time, WE were right and all those fiddling little mongrel chapters had it all dead wrong."

Novenus paused, "Sir, the reports do state that Roboute Guilliman was not necessarily pleased with how the..."

"Abupbupbup, Sigmund, now that's looking at the empty half of the glass.  The Great Guilliman simply sees things in a way that is beyond mortal comprehension.  Why the complexities of the mind of a Primarch are such above even my own, it would be like comparing my own massive intellect with I don't know... a Space Wolf or something.  With Guilliman in charge, nothing can possibily go wrong."

"Yes, sir.  That's... one way to see it.  But, surely deciding to lead a very limited hunting party on your own without reinforcements could be seen as... overconfidence."

"Overconfidence, Sigmund?  You wound me.  Why, we aren't dealing with something as complex as Gr... Grum..." the Space Marine Captain paused as he stifled what surely couldn't be a spasm of dread, what with the Astartes feeling no fear and all, "THAT Ork isn't here.  We just have stragglers that need sword and bolter to send to the wind."

"I... suppose so, sir.  But, cleansing a world completely from Orks is a nigh-impossible goal."

"That's why we're here Sigmund.  Because we're Ultramarines.  We DO the Impossible.  I wonder if this is how Guilliman felt when he began the Great Crusade.  Standing on the edge of civilization looking out into the unknown with only the assured knowledge that victory will soon be in your grasp...  Stunning, isn't it?"

Novenus was about to respond when the the ground shook and birds took to the skies.  Something was coming.  Something big.

A giant, half-rusted mechanical head the size of a Predator turned the corner around a hill and the air echoed with an off-tune whistle that burst into something resembling song,


The two Marines stood in shocked silence for a moment before Maximus spoke.

"Sigmund?  I think we're going to need a bigger boat."

To Be Continued!

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