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21
Battle Reports / Re: WAARGH! Grumgutz vs. Alpha Legion (1500): The Return of Duumrider!
« Last post by Cammerz on December 25, 2017, 10:38:42 PM »
I really love reading Big Louie, she's got the perfect level of frustration when dealing with Wingnut and the rest of WAAAGH! Grumgutz.

Also I'd forgotten that Duumrider was your universe's Deadpool with his disregard for the fourth wall.

Looking forward to reading the rest of the report, Merry Xmas.
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Battle Reports / Re: WAARGH! Grumgutz vs. Alpha Legion (1500): The Return of Duumrider!
« Last post by Mabbz on December 25, 2017, 05:15:03 PM »
Wooh, batrep! Orks, big Louie, and Duumrider? What a wonderful Christmas present  ;D
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Battle Reports / WAARGH! Grumgutz vs. Alpha Legion (1500): The Return of Duumrider!
« Last post by BigToof on December 25, 2017, 01:44:58 PM »
------------------------------------------------------------
WAARGH! Grumgutz vs. Alpha Legion (1500): The Return of Duumrider!
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Hi All,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It's been a while.  I've been playing here and there, but nothing serious as I've been waiting for Chapter Approved and Beta rules to simmer to something concrete.  Oh, and how it has!  Smite spam is nerfed, except... Orks still can do it pretty well.
Hordes are still stong and Orks can do it doubly well.
At least... they do better than Dark Eldar.

So, I bring out the Green Horde lead once again by Ex-Farseer Lorilune in a mass surge against... Chaos?

It's an interesting Alpha Legion list with a lot of tricks and surprising to say the least.

Hope you all enjoy the next chapter of the WAARGH! Grumgutz saga.

Best,
-BT

P.S.  Fluff is attached!
Comments and Critiques are Greatly Appreciated!

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The Lists
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WAARGH! Grumgutz (1500): 125 Infantry, 1 Vehicle; 6 CPs (Battalion and Patrol)
Ex-Farseer Lorilune (Weirdboy)
Axl da Goff Rokka (Weirdboy)
Big Mek Wingnut (Big Mek on Warbike w/KFF)
Dokta Chop (Painboy w/PK)
Nob w/W!Banner, Kustom Shoota
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, PK
Boyzx28 w/Sluggas, PK
Boyzx28 w/Shootas
Brother-Captain-Major-Sergeant Skarbutz (Stormboyzx15 w/PK)
BigToof (Gorkanaut)
Weirdboy
Grotzx10
Grotzx10

Alpha Legion (1500): 77 Infantry, 1 Monster; 6 CPs
DUUMRIDER (DPrince w/Wings, Elixer, Malefic talons, Warp Bolter, MoS, Warptime)
Malafens (Sorcerer w/Force Staff, Combi-Bolter, Warptime, Prescience)
Noise Marinesx18 w/Sonic Blasters, Blastmaster
Berzerkersx8 w/Chainswords and Chainaxes, Champ w/Double Claw
Berzerkersx8 w/Chainswords and Chainaxes, Champ w/Double Claw
Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
Cultistsx12 w/ Autoguns, Mark of Slaanesh
Obliteratorsx3 w/Mark of Slaanesh
Obliteratorsx3 w/Mark of Slaanesh

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------------------------------------------------
Chapter Two: The Retrun of Duumrider
------------------------------------------------

Our story begins deep in the Warp, the nebulous half-real dimension carved out of the dreams and nightmares of the denizens of Realspace.  There, made from mountains of spiraling pink and purple metal was a castle of exquisite and near mind-numbing detail, crafted by the pleasure-driven worshipers of Slaanesh.

But, it was not a place of worship, but instead a holding ground for the unused and bedraggled.  Mutilators and Defilers slumbered in rooms carved out from the warp-stuff and one of the largest rooms was occupied by a fairly-well known creature.  A pile of scantily clad cultists were laid out in a pile, half covering a massive mockery of a humanoid figure.  Adorned with purple and pink Astartes Armor, the Daemon Prince Duumrider slept, his firey flame extinguished for the moment while dreams of depravity filled his brow.

As Duumrider slumbered amongst the mass of drugged-out cultists, there was a tremor in the Warp.  Suddenly, the lidless eyes of the Daemon Prince snapped open and a cackle ripped through the air.

"CHAPTER APPROVED...  BETA MATCH PLAY...  SLAANESH'S PINK PANTIES WE'RE VIABLE AGAIN!!!"

The monstrous creature threw itself upwards, scattering the Chaos worshipers around him.

"MAL!  MAL!  OH, HE'S GOTTA HEAR THIS!"

With a shimmer of brimstone, the beast vanished into a blur of speed and the doors to the sanctum were thrown open with reckless abandon.

In another room of the palace was a Sorcerer deep in thought.  His overwrought pink and purple armor had a sheen of dust as Malefans, the Sorcerer of Slaanesh, looked over his tomes.  There had been little call for Sorcerers of late, as the Gods and Heretics alike were following the rabble calling of Malefic Lords.  Though barely sane and paling in comparison to the centuries of experience of a Sorcerer, the baying hordes that had been active cared little for substance and style.  Instead, they followed whoever could cobble together enough of a warband to throw themselves needlessly against the Imperial warmachine.  Malefens shook his head at the thought of it all.  The children today had no sense of respect for their elders.

And it was at this point that the doors to his study was blown off their hinges by a massive boot that left the once-mighty doors thrown about, knocking over piles of books and carefully kept notes.
With a sigh, Malefans looked over to see the panting and howling form of Daemon Prince Duumrider.  It was going to be one of those days.

"MAL!  MAL!  DID YOU HEAR?!  WE'RE VIABLE AGAIN!  SMITE SPAM DONE GOT THE NERF!"

"What are you talking about?  We're not going any..."

Then, as if on cue, a small shimmering light began to glow on Malefan's wartable.  The Sorcerer wiped off a sheen of dust and almost gasped in surprise at the pinkish rune that shimmered quite clearly.

"We're...  We're being called to battle.  The Dark Prince has need of us once more."

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!  MAN, THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!  WHO ARE WE FIGHTING?  GIRLYMAN?  SAINT UNDERCOSTED?"

"No..." said Malefans grimly as he looked over his runes.  "Our opponent is... Orks."

"ORKS?  REALLY?  MAN, WE'RE SKIMMING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL, AREN'T WE?"

"Surely this is a test from the Dark Prince.  Once we prove ourselves worthy, then we will be given something more substantive."  Malefans drummed his fingers in thought.  "A trivial task, but a task nonetheless."

"MAL!  MAL!  YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!  NOW WE GOTTA WORRY ABOUT SOME MARY-SUE COMING ALONG AND ALIENATING HALF THE FANBASE!"

The Sorcerer took a moment to look up the flaming visage of his mostly-insane colleague.  Sometimes there were motes of wisdom in the Warp-Dust crazed words that scrambled out of Duumrider's mouth.  Surely the Dark Prince had a twist planned.  It was only a matter of time before they figured out what it was...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ex-Farseer Lorilune was in a foul mood.  Which was her common state of affairs given the situation.  Clad in the remains of her once vaunted robes, she brushed the ends of her bedraggled crimson hair out of her eyes.  Once, she had worried about such creature comforts like vanity and fashion, but now there were more important matters at hand.  She stood over a crudely made table with rolls of paper in front of her that had crude squiggles and sigils that approximated a map.  Barely.  Waargh!  energy crackled through her veins and she looked up, throwing a glance at the other figure in her tent.

Big Mek Wingnut looked sheepishly and tried to make himself as small as possible.  Even though the Ork dwarfed the Eldar, he had long since learned what everyone in the Orkish camp knew:

Nobody was bigger than Big Louie.  Nobody.

"Uh, Louie," asked Wingnut, "Da map ain't all THAT bad, right?"

A roar of Waargh! energy coarsed over the room, knocking the crude maps around the room and stirring the dust on the floor into a small sandstorm.  Wingnut shut his eyes and coughed, stepping back against the onslought.

"Not, that bad?  NOT THAT BAD?"

Lorilune charged forwards, poking a finger against Wingnut's chest, and the Big Mek whimpered as if shot.

"Do you lot even have the faintest idea of cartography?"

"Uh," proffered Wingnut, "I can make you a cart if you want Louie.  Maybe half a Trukk if ya..."

"That's not what cartography..."  Lorilune fought down the very tempting fantasy of blowing Wingnut and all of the Orks into the stratosphere.  It was bad enough that the Orks had crashlanded on this misbegotten planet, but it was even worse that they didn't have a clue as to where they were and in what direction they were going.  Lorilune half expected that they were wandering around the forest in circles, getting further away from the Spaceport that held their only hope of getting off the planet.  But, thinking and planning were not the Ork way of doing anything.  It was as foreign as soap to the greenskins, but by Khaine's bones she was going to force it down their throats until they choked on it.

"Why's you need a map anyhows?"  asked Wingnut, a bit relieved that the blasting had stopped.

"Why?  Why?! How do you know we're going even vaguely in the right direction."

Wingnut nodded, "Yeah, I guess dat's a problem, but ya know...  Bigtoof can see those gits."

"He... WHAT?!" screamed Lorilune, looking out the tent flap at the enormous Gorkanaut that was piloted by possibly the stupidest Ork she had ever met.  The massive Warmachine had fallen over again after bending over too far and was slowly being pulled up again, causing the entire warband to grind to a halt.  As necessary as the Gorkanaut was to her plans, Lorilune still couldn't believe that the massive titan could be brought low by something shiny on the ground.

"Then why didn't you lot tell me?!"

"Uh," proffered Wingnut, "Cuz you said dat you didn't want to hear no more about BigToof cause of what he did with dat fallin' over thing."

A vein throbbed on her head as the Ex-Farseer summoned all of her strength to keep from screaming at the top of her lungs.  Orks.  Just when you thought you had reached the nadir of their stupidity, you found a new layer of idiocy ripe for the mining.  At least, she thought to herself, it couldn't get worse.

"Boss!  Boss!" screamed an Ork Boy as he ran inside.  "We see some humies on da hills up ahead!"

"Good," said Lorilune, "I'm just in the mood for them.  Summon the Warband.  The Might of the Eldar will herald their destruction!"

"Wut?"

Sighing, the Ex-Farseer said in monotone, "Get everyone together.  We're going to fight them."

"Oh, right!" replied the Ork Boy, waving his Choppa around,  " Green is da Best!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Mission: Cleanse (Kill Points)
Setup: Vanguard (Diagonals)

Pre-Game Thoughts: Right, I've got a horde... versus one of the scariest anti-infantry lists I've seen in a while.
I've seen Chaos (with it's shiny Codex...) run rabid on the table, and there's a lot of nasty things out there.
Noise marines with umpteen million accurate (gasp!) shots with Sorcerer support, Khorne Berzerkers (ouch) and a Daemon Prince (better than Morty or Magnus I suppose), but still a nasty list over-all.  Only two units of Oblits, so I guess I should be happy there?
As for my list, I've got a metric Ork-sized ton of bodies with now three Weirdboyz (love 'em) and still BigToof the Gorkanaut as distraction Carnifex.  I don't have much anti-tank, as I've brought a W! Banner Nob (might be useful?), a Painboy and Stormboyz to see what they do instead of doing the sensible thing and taking KMKannons or the like.
Looking at the board, I really miss those Kannons...
I sense that this will be a slobber-knocker for the ages to come!

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To be Continued!
24
Hobby / New Year Hobby Resolutions
« Last post by Mabbz on December 25, 2017, 07:53:01 AM »
Merry Christmas to all, and to all lots of presents  :D
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General 40k and Expansions / Re: Matched Play Beta Changes
« Last post by Irisado on December 24, 2017, 06:25:47 PM »
I haven't been paying enough attention, since I'd overlooked that their codex had been released.  Thanks for the correction.
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LoTR and other GW Games / Re: Wrath & Glory - New 40k RPG
« Last post by Scout Sergeant Mkoll on December 24, 2017, 05:03:52 PM »
Looks like it could be fun, but there's not really enough information yet to say for sure. Still, who's up for a forum RP when they release it?
I'm game for that. :) I like d100 so that's a shame, but d6 systems can work well to.
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LoTR and other GW Games / Re: Wrath & Glory - New 40k RPG
« Last post by Dafoe on December 23, 2017, 12:43:44 PM »
I was unaware of this project, but seeing Ross Watson is on board gives me hope that it's going to be good. Do they have a release date in mind already?
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General 40k and Expansions / Re: Matched Play Beta Changes
« Last post by Waaaghpower on December 20, 2017, 05:53:19 PM »
I'm guessing that this issue for Grey Knights and Thousand Sons will be addressed once the codices are released for these two armies.
As already pointed out, Grey Knights have a codex. It's already pretty terrible - The weakest codex by far, and one of the weaker factions in general. This would be the final nail in the coffin for anyone wanting to play pure Grey Knights.
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General 40k and Expansions / Re: Matched Play Beta Changes
« Last post by Deraj on December 20, 2017, 01:10:35 AM »
Grey Knights have a new codex though...

I really, really, really want to like 8th edition, but it is just not doing anything for me.
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General 40k and Expansions / Re: Matched Play Beta Changes
« Last post by Irisado on December 19, 2017, 04:15:36 PM »
I'm guessing that this issue for Grey Knights and Thousand Sons will be addressed once the codices are released for these two armies.
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