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Iron Dawn - A terrestrial combat game idea

Started by GreaterGoodNewZealand, August 21, 2013, 02:25:47 AM

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GreaterGoodNewZealand

Hi guys.

I'm more than a little nervous about this, but here goes.

Over the last several months, I've been working on a game idea which goes by the working title of Iron Dawn. It's a terrestrial combat idea. The rules and some poorly written background can be found here: http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2013/08/21/iron-dawn-the-rules/

Hopefully people would be willing to look over the rules and even give them a go. Tell me if anything seems redundant or broken or just stupid. Please bear in mind, though, that I'm not a great writer, so some parts might be a bit poorly written.

Thanks for your time.
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

Narric

Can't believe I glazed over this.

I'll have a look later on today, and give you my thoughts ^_^

GreaterGoodNewZealand

Quote from: Narric on November 12, 2013, 10:56:44 AM
Can't believe I glazed over this.

I'll have a look later on today, and give you my thoughts ^_^

Thanks Narric ^_^

Sorry about it being on a blog. It was just there to make it easier to share with people.
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

Narric

Alright, what I've done is copy it into a Word doc, and I'm making adjustments that sort out wording and add clarity. I'm making sure to colour my changes in red, so you can see what I've changed.

Hopefully when I send you the altered doc, it'll have all my "Comments" that'll explain my changes.

GreaterGoodNewZealand

Quote from: Narric on November 14, 2013, 08:48:29 PM
Alright, what I've done is copy it into a Word doc, and I'm making adjustments that sort out wording and add clarity. I'm making sure to colour my changes in red, so you can see what I've changed.

Hopefully when I send you the altered doc, it'll have all my "Comments" that'll explain my changes.

Ok then. That sounds good. I can't wait to see your changes
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

Narric

Did I ever actually send you the file?

Either way, here is a link to it: http://sta.sh/0k8t19x4ke9

Hopefully you'll be able to see all the notes I've made.

Look forward to seeing this get off the ground ^_^

Only thing I can really say is Miniatures first is often the best idea :P I tried to make a Space Battleships game and near nobody played to give me feedback :P

GreaterGoodNewZealand

Thanks Narric. Your changes are incredibly helpful. As you probably noticed, I'm not a great writer so the notes pointing out what needs changing and why are very helpful.

As for the miniatures first, I've no natural talent for art or sculpting which makes it a bit difficult :P
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

Narric

Glad to hear the notes transfered over :P

Have you tried playing a game with the rules? I find it helps to spot failures in Logic, and where something that should be clear isn't.

GreaterGoodNewZealand

Quote from: Narric on December 12, 2013, 11:38:27 PM
Glad to hear the notes transfered over :P

Have you tried playing a game with the rules? I find it helps to spot failures in Logic, and where something that should be clear isn't.

:P Oh they transferred over alright.....

I have, although it was just against myself since I couldn't rope anyone else into it. And I had a friend (who lives half a world away) play it against one of his mates too which pointed out some of the issues
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

GreaterGoodNewZealand

#9
I apologise for the double post. I wasn't sure if it was best to edit my last post or to just do an entirely new post.

OK, the new, improved rules are on my blog (because I still haven't figured out what my DeviantArt password and username were :P) and can be found here: http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/iron-dawn-the-rules-v2/

Now for a little information on the world and the races involved in Iron Dawn. Sorry it's not written very well

The world, called Aenyreon, is divided into five continents of various sizes; Aevruele in the west, Kriavo to the east, Crun directly next to Kriavo, the Northern Islands in between Aevruele and Crun, and Naishub to the far south; each of which is inhabited by at least one race.

There are six races which inhabit Aenyreon: Sparaxians, humans, Woruxi, Kurae, Sea People and Husquri. The Sparaxians are one of the oldest races on Aenyreon, and live upon giant cities that float in the lower atmosphere; humans are a young race, their evolution guided and influenced directly by the Sparaxians. They inhabit Aevruele and are engaged in a devastating civil war following the rise to power of a weak, young emperor, his power hungry lord chancellor, and localised separatist groups; the Woruxi are feral and savage but highly secretive, inhabiting the blasted Darklands of Aevruele and beyond and raiding the other races' settlements for food, supplies and slaves; the Sea People, or Renkashi, inhabit the Northern Islands and are working hard to become the most powerful race on Aenyreon through technological leaps, shrewd diplomacy and brutal warfare; the Kurae are a reptilian race which lives on Crun, created by the Husquri to stop the Sparaxians from waging another war against them; and the Husquri are an advanced insectoid race which live on Kriavo, quarantined there after a 150 year war with the Sparaxians and planning their revenge
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

silverfuge

QuoteBoth sides roll 2D10 numbered 0-9, adding or subtracting any applicable modifiers, which are explained later. The player with the lowest number declares and moves first. Since rolling a double zero is equivalent to 100, any player that rolls "00? automatically LOSES the initiative, regardless of any modifiers.


Am I being stupid or is a little wrong? If your rolling 2 d10 you end up with a value between 0-18, as you have to roll a d100 to get a value between 1-100? Just wanting to clarify there maybe more things as I go along but this one struck me first.
Gm is God

GreaterGoodNewZealand

Quote from: silverfuge on December 30, 2013, 03:49:08 PM
QuoteBoth sides roll 2D10 numbered 0-9, adding or subtracting any applicable modifiers, which are explained later. The player with the lowest number declares and moves first. Since rolling a double zero is equivalent to 100, any player that rolls "00? automatically LOSES the initiative, regardless of any modifiers.


Am I being stupid or is a little wrong? If your rolling 2 d10 you end up with a value between 0-18, as you have to roll a d100 to get a value between 1-100? Just wanting to clarify there maybe more things as I go along but this one struck me first.

Sorry about that, that should be d100, not 2d10. You are right that this needs to be corrected and will be right now. Thank you for pointing it out, Silverfuge. You most likely will end up finding more issues like this, and when you do just point them out.
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.

silverfuge

Will do when I next on a pc. My pc very Very slow so tend to use my phone more.
Gm is God

GreaterGoodNewZealand

Thanks Silverfuge. I really do appreciate it
I wrote a tabletop war game! It can be found here  http://thatkiwiguy.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/5/ -  if people wish to read the rules. Still working on some of the factions and most of the background.